FRANK AND JEAN.
BY
STEVE MILLER.

FRANK AND HIS WIFE JEAN ARE SAT ON THE RIVER BANK.
FRANK IS FISHING.
JEAN IS SAT IN A CAMPING CHAIR DOING CROCHET WORK.

ISN'T THIS LOVELY JEAN.
SITTING HERE BY THE RIVER.
LOOK JEAN THERE..OVER THERE.
JEAN LOOKS UP FROM HER CROCHET.
WHAT IS IT FRANK..?
IT'S A HERON JEAN.
WHAT'S A HERON.? ASKS JEAN.
IT'S A BIRD JEAN.
A BEAUTIFUL WADING BIRD.
JEAN GOES BACK TO HER CROCHET.
SHE HAS LITTLE OR NO INTEREST IN NATURE.
BUT FRANK..HE LOVES IT.

LOOK JEAN SAYS FRANK,
OVER THERE,
WHAT IS IT ASKS JEAN.?
ITS A MALLARD.
WHATS A MALLARD.?
ITS A DUCK JEAN.
AND LOOK, IT HAS..LET ME SEE,
HE LOOKS THROUGH BINOCULARS,
IT HAS AT LEAST EIGHT DUCKLINGS.
JEAN GOES BACK TO HER CROCHET.
THEN SHE HOLDS UP HER CROCHET AND SAYS TO FRANK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK.?
WHAT IS IT ASKS FRANK.
ITS A TEA POT COVER.
FRANK HAS NO REPLY.

THEN SUDDENLY THE STILLNESS AND SERENITY OF A SUMMERS DAY
IS BROKEN BY THE SCREECHING SOUND OF JEAN SCREECHING.
AND SCREAMING. 
FRANK PUTS DOWN HIS ROD.
WHATS WRONG JEAN..?
HAVE YOU BEEN STUNG BY SOMETHING.?
JEAN THROWS HER CROCHET INTO A PATCH OF NETTLES.
SHE TRIES TO SPEAK.
DDDD DDDD DOWN THERE FRANK.
IN TTTT THE REEDS. 
WHAT ON EEEEE EARTH IS IT.?
FRANK LOOKS DOWN INTO THE REEDS.
HE ASKS JEAN.
WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN JEAN..?
A SNAKE..? A FROG.?A RAT..?
JEAN IS SHAKING PHYSICALY AND IS DELERIOUS.
SHE SHOUTS AT FRANK..
NOOOO FRANK, ITS NOT A RAT OR A FROG OR A BLOODY SNAKE.
ITS A MAN FRANK..ITS THE BODY OF A MAN FRANK.
JEAN STARTS TO WEEP HYSTERICALY.
FRANK PARTS THE REEDS WITH HIS ROD REST.
THERE IN THE RIVER,THE FAT NAKED BLOATED BODY OF A MAN.
PROBABLY IN HIS LATE FIFTIES.
JEAN BLOWS HER NOSE AND WIPES HER EYES THEN SAYS,
PHONE THE POLICE FRANK..NOW..
FRANK TAKES JEAN BY THE SHOULDERS.
HE LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO HER EYES.
LISTEN TO ME JEAN.THAT IS THE BODY OF A MAN.
WE DONT KNOW WHO HE IS AND WE DONT KNOW HOW HE ENDED UP IN THIS RIVER.
BUT LOOK..
FRANK POKES AT THE SWOLEN STOMACH OF THE BODY WITH HIS ROD REST.
THE BODY TURNS OVER. 
LOOK SAYS FRANK. LOOK HOW NATURE HAS MOVED IN.
JEAN SHIVERS. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT FRANK.
LOOK SAYS FRANK.LOOK AT HIS MOUTH.YOU SEE THOSE.?
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.?
THEIR MINOWS.AND LOOK JEAN..THERE..
THATS AN EEL. YOU SEE JEAN, ITS NATURE. ITS MOVED IN.
JEAN LOOKS AT FRANK AMAZED.
YOUR MAD FRANK.YOU AND YOUR LOVE OF NATURE.
ITS GONE TOO FAR. YOU DISGUST ME.
IM GOING TO THE POLICE.
THAT MAN IS SOMEONES HUSBAND, SOMEONES FATHER,SON.
OR SISTER SAYS FRANK.
BALLS TO EQUALITY SAYS JEAN..
HES DEAD FRANK IN THE RIVER AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS FISH AND NATURE.
FRANK LOOKS UPWARDS TO THE SKY.
JEAN,JEAN,JEAN, TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU. THE TREES, THE FLOWERS,
THIS RIVER.THE BIRDS.LOOK THERE JEAN, ACROSS THE RIVER,
SEE THAT SPLASH OF BLUE.
THATS A KINGFISHER.
BUT YOU DONT HAVE A CLUE.YOU SIT THERE WHILE IM FISHING,
MAKING A TEA POT COVER.
JESUS JEAN. WHAT IS IT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.
CAN YOU NOT SEE, HEAR, SMELL, THE JOY OF ALL OF NATURE.
AGAIN FRANK TAKES JEAN BY THE SHOULDERS.
HE LOOKS WITH WET EYES AND SAYS..
WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD NEVER LET YOU HAVE A PARROT..?
OR A RABIT, OR ANY ANIMAL THATS KEPT IN A CAGE.
YOU IMPLORED ME THAT TIME..PLEASE PLEASE YOU SAID,
LET ME HAVE A GUINI PIG.
BUT I REFUSED JEAN, BECAUSE NO CREATURE ON GODS EARTH SHOULD BE CAGED.
AND HERE, RIGHT NOW, BY THIS RIVER. THAT MAN,
HE POINTS TO THE BODY..
THAT MAN..HE'S BECOME A PART OF ALL THIS.
HE'S PROVIDING HOME TO SO MANY AQUATIC CREATURES.
SEE THOSE BLACK THINGS COMING OUT OF HIS EARS.?
THEIR AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. 
THEIR CALLED WATER BOATMEN. SMALL BEETLES ABLE TO SPEND TIME UNDER WATER.
JEAN FUMBLES TO GET HER PHONE FROM HER POCKET AND DIALS.
FRANK GRABS HER PHONE.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING JEAN SAYS FRANK ANGRILY.
I'M PHONING THE POLICE SHE SAYS.
HE POINTS AT HER WITH HER PHONE.
NOW LISTEN TO ME JEAN.
IF WE PHONE THE POLICE IMAGINE WHAT WILL HAPPEN EH?
JEAN SCREAMS AT FRANK. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
OR HAVE YOU FORGOT I ONCE WORKED FOR ST JOHNS AMBULANCE.
NO JEAN I HAVNT FORGOT BUT DONT TELL ME YOU PULLED A BODY FROM A RIVER.
THE MOST YOU EVER DID WAS PUT CREAM ON A WASP STING.
OH FRANK SAYS JEAN, YOUR JUST BEING PATHETIC NOW.GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK.
FRANK IS CLEARLY ANNOYED. I'LL SHOW YOU PATHETIC HE YELLS AT HER.
THEN HE THROWS HER PHONE INTO THE RIVER.
JEAN SCREAMED AND SHOUTED ABUSE AT FRANK.
YOU BASTARDO FRANK.. BASTARDO BASTARDO BASTARDO.
AND SHE SLAPPED HIM HARD ACROSS THE FACE.
JEAN ALWAYS SWORE WITH A SPANISH/MEXICAN ACCENT BEACAUSE HER GRANDMOTHER WAS FROM PERU.
FRANK TOOK A DEEP BREATH THEN SAID...OH NOOO.!!
OH NO WHAT..? SAID JEAN.
THERES A MAN COMING ALONG THE RIVER WITH A DOG.
NOW JUST ACT NORMAL.HE GRABBED HER CROCHET.
YOU JUST SIT THERE WITH THIS AND DONT SAY A WORD.
I WILL DEAL WITH THIS.
BUT FRANK SHE SAYS, WHY DONT WE TELL HIM..?
NO JEAN SAID FRANK FIRMLY. 
THIS IS OUR SECRET.WE DONT WANT HIM TO POKE HIS NOSE IN.
PLEASE JEAN..DONT SAY A WORD.

FRANK REELS IN THEN CASTS AGAIN.
THE MAN WITH DOG APPROACHES.ITS A JACK RUSSEL.
IT BARKS AT FRANK AND JEAN.
HELLO THERE ..SAYS THE MAN .
HELLO SAYS FRANK.
THE MAN SAYS..WHAT A LOVELY DAY. HAD ANY LUCK.?
FRANK SAYS..YES MATE, LOVELY DAY. NO LUCK YET THOUGH.
JEAN IS FUSSING THE DOG..
OOOH SHE SAYS..HES A HANDSOME BOY.
GIRL SAYS THE MAN.THATS RUBY. I NAMED HER AFTER MY LATE WIFE.
AWWWW SAYS JEAN..HOW LOVELY.
THEN THE MAN ASKS..HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OTTERS..?
NO SAYS FRANK.NO OTTERS.
WHAT ABOUT POLICE..SAYS THE MAN.
FRANK CAUGHS..WHAT YOU MEAN ..POLICE..?
WELL YOU MUST HAVE HEARD..?SAYS THE MAN.
NOPE..HEARD WHAT.?
ABOUT THE MISSING MAN..?
MISSING MAN.? ASKS FRANK NERVOUSLY..?
NO..NOT HEARD ABOUT THAT.
WELL SAYS THE MAN, IT WAS ON THE NEWS.
A MAN WAS MURDERED ABOUT HALF A MILE UPSTREAM.
JEAN SUDDENLY SHOUTS LOUDLY..MURDERED..?
YES SAYS THE MAN.SEEMS HE WAS CAUGHT ON CCTV BEING MURDERED BY A MAN DRESSED IN CAMO GEAR.
POLICE THINK COULD BE A FISHERMAN..?
SUDDENLY THE DOG STARTS BARKING LIKE MAD AT THE RIVER BANK.
THE MAN WINDS IN THE LEAD..COME AWAY RUBY..!!
YES SAYS FRANK, DONT WANT RUBY CAUGHT ON A HOOK..!!
FUNNY SAYS THE MAN..SHE ONLY BARKS AND GROWLS LIKE THAT IF SHE SMELLS SOMETHING.
THEN HE ASKS JEAN..WHAT ARE YOU KNITTING..?
ITS NOT KNITTING ..ITS CROCHET. AND ITS A TEA POT COVER..SNAPS JEAN.
OOH SORRY SAYS THE MAN..WELL, I BEST GET ON MY WAY.
I'LL WALK ALONG THE RIVER. NEVER KNOW, I MIGHT FIND THE BODY.
YES..SAYS FRANK. ALL THE BEST.
OH SAYS THE MAN..FORGOT TO SAY...
THE DEAD BLOKE..!!
WHAT ABOUT HIM ASKS FRANK.
WELL, SAYS THE MAN, IT SEEMS HE HAD A BEARD AND MUSTACHE.


THE MAN WALKS AWAY ALONG THE RIVER BANK.
JEAN SAYS..DID YOU HEAR THAT FRANK..MURDERED..!!!
I HEARD SAID FRANK..BUT ..
BUT WHAT SAYS JEAN.
FRANKS TURNS THE BODY OVER WITH HIS ROD REST..
LOOK JEAN..WHAT DO YOU NOTICE ABOUT HIM ..?
OMG..YES..I SEE WHAY YOU MEAN SHE SAYS..NO BEARD OR MUSTACHE.?
HOW STRANGE. SO..THIS CANT BE THE MURDERED MAN..?
FRANK SAYS ..EXACTLY...IN WHICH CASE WE MUST ASK..WHO IS HE.?
WHY IS HE HERE..? HOW DID HE DIE..? AND WHY..?
WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT HIM.? WHERE IS HE FROM.? 
FRANK GETS HIS ROD REST..AND TURNS THE BODY AGAIN SO ITS FACE DOWN.
ON THE MANS BACK THERE IS A VISABLE TATTOO..
LOOK SAYS FRANK..A TATTOO..BUT WHAT IS IT..?
JEAN PUTS DOWN HER CROCHET..
FRANK SHE SAYS..LISTEN..THIS IS NOT LIKE IN MURDER SHE WROTE.
I'M NOT JESSICA FLETCHER. AND YOUR NOT COLLUMBO..
WE NEED HELP HERE..SAY WHAT YOU LIKE BUT WE NEED TO REPORT THIS BODY.

FRANK..THE MURDERER WORE CAMO GEAR..? WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED IN ?
FRANK LOOKS DOWN AT HIS TROUSERS..
JESUS HE SAYS..YOUR RIGHT..WE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE..
QUICK..PACK UP THE STUFF. LETS GET HOME.
FRANK AND JEAN PACK UP THIER STUFF THEN HEAD TO THE CAR PARK ON TRIPPETS FARM.
AS THEY GET TO THE GATE..THE FARMER, MR TRIPPET APPEARS. 
HE SAYS..ALRIGHT THERE..? BEEN FISHING HAVE WE.DOWN ONT RIVER.?
FRANK IS LOADING HIS GEAR INTO THE BOOT OF THE CAR..
YES..HE REPLIES. NOTHING BITING.!!
THE FARMER THEN SAYS..? SEE ANYTHING ODD..? 
ODD.? ASKS FRANK..? LIKE WHAT..?
WELL LIKE ANYTHING STRANGE..? SAYS MR TRIPPET.
ROUND HERE, A LOT OF STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN. ITS SECLUDED SEE.
THERES MIST AND SOMETIMES WE HEAR NOISES .
JEAN SAYS NERVIOUSLY..WHAT NOISES..?
THE FARMER GRINS BEARING TEETH IN NEED OF URGENT WORK AND LAUGHS.
THE FARMER CONTINUES..
THERES SOME WHO SAY ROUND HERE THAT THESE NOISES ARE THE SOULS OF THE DEAD.
FROM THE OLD MILL. IT WAS JUST ACROSS THE RIVER. TWELVE KIDS DIED IN THERE.
WORKING UNDER THE LOOMS THEY WERE.WHOLE PLACE WENT UP..
TRAGIC..BUT THERES THEM THAT SAY ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS, WHOLE PLACE COVERED IN MIST.
THE SOUND OF THEM SCREAMING KIDS..
ANYROADS.. LOOKS LIKE THERES A STORM BREWING..BEST NOT KEEP YOU GOOD FOLK.
THEN HE TURNS TOWARD THEM AND SAYS..
I SUPOSE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE MURDER DID YOU..?
FRANK REPLIES..'MURDER..ERM NO..WE DIDNT HEAR ABOUT A MURDER.
ALRIGHT SAYS THE FARMER, NO DOUBT YOU'LL SEE THE NEWS. 

FRANK AND JEAN TURN ON THE TEN OCLOCK NEWS.
THE ANNOUNCER SAYS...
'THE DEAD MAN HAS BEEN NAMED AS HERBERT CHARLSWORTHY.
A SOLICITOR FROM THE VILLAGE OF TANWORTH.
POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR A COUPLE SEEN ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER.
INVESTIGATING OFFICERS SAY THEY WOULD LIKE THIS COUPLE TO COME FORWARD AND HELP WITH ENQUIRIES.

FRANK CLICKS THE REMOTE TURNING OFF THE TV. 
JEAN SAYS..YOU SEE WHAT A MESS YOUVE CREATED FRANK.
NOW WERE SUSSPECTS. WHY ON EARTH DIDNT YOU LISTEN TO ME FRANK.
WE SHOULD HAVE PHONED THE POLICE WHEN I SAID.
BASTARDOS..BASTARDOS..BASTARDOS... 
STOP JEAN..STOP..!!!
LET ME THINK.
WE HAVNT DONE ANYTHING WRONG JEAN .
ANYWAY..THAT BODY WE FOUND IS DEFFINATLY NOT THE HERBERT CHAP.
YOU SAW JEAN. HE HAD NO MUSTACHE OR BEARD.
JEAN SNAPPS BACK.MAYBE HE SHAVED IT OFF.
WHAT...WHILE HE WAS BEING MURDERED..?
DONT BE RIDICULOUS.
WELL WERE RELYING ON THE WORDS OF THAT BLOKE WITH THE DOG.
FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE COULD BE WRONG.
AND HOW DID HE KNOW HE HAD A BEARD AND MUSTACHE.?
I DONT KNOW JEAN..MAYBE HE SAW AN IDENTIFIT ..?

SUDDENLY THERES A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. A HARD KNOCK .
SOMEONE IS DETERMINED.
OH CHRIST SAYS JEAN. 
FRANK SAYS..JEAN, LISTEN, ITS THE POLICE. NOW YOU JUST SIT THERE AND LET ME DO THE TALKING.

FRANK OPENS THE FRONT DOOR. IT IS A POLICEMAN.
FRANK SAYS..HELLO OFFICER..CAN I HELP YOU.?
MR CRAWDASH..?
YES, WHAT IS IT.?
ITS YOUR NAME. THAT IS YOUR NAME.?
FRANK REPLIES YES. PLEASE COME IN. HOW CAN I HELP.?
THE OFFICER ENTERS THE HOUSE. JEAN IS CLUTCHING A HANDKERCHIEF.
PLEASE SAYS FRANK..TAKE A SEAT. WHAT ..ERM..WHAT IS ALL THIS..?
HE LOOKS AT JEAN..AND SAYS TO HER..
JEAN.. MAKE THE OFFICER A CUP OF TEA.
THE OFFICER SAYS THANKS BUT THAT WON'T BE NECCASERRY.
NOW..MR CRAWDASH. YOU WERE FISHING YESTERDAY. WITH YOUR WIFE.?
ON THE RIVER BANK AT JACKSONS LANE.?
FRANK LOOKS AT JEAN. ERM.. YES , YES WE WERE.
JEAN SAYS, I WASNT FISHING. I WAS DOING MY CROCHET.
I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING...
THE OFFICER GETS HIS LITTLE BOOK OUT.
LICKS HIS PENCIL AS THEY DO.
THEN WRITES IN HIS BOOK.
THEN HE TURNS TO HER AND SAYS..
'AND TEL ME ,WHAT WAS IT YOU DIDNT SEE..?'
FRANK SAYS ..SHE JUST MEANS THAT SHE WAS RELAXING WITH HER CROCHET.
SHES MAKING A TEA POT COVER. I SAW A HERON AND I SAID TO HER,
LOOK JEAN OVER THERE..BUT SHE DIDNT SEE IT.
'I SEE' SAID THE OFFICER. WELL, 
HE TAKES A PHOTO FROM HIS POCKET. ITS A MAN WITH A MUSTACHE AND BEARD.
HE SHOWS IT TO FRANK.
'TELL ME MR CRAWDASH, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE.?'
FRANK TAKES THE PHOTO..AND LOOKS AT IT CAREFULLY.
WELL HE LOOKS A BIT LIKE JIMMY HILL. THEN FRANK LAUGHS.
THE OFFICER SAYS..'ITS NO LAUGHING MATTER MR CRAWDASH. 
YOU SEE..THIS MAN WAS MURDERED. BY A MAN DRESSED NOT UNLIKE YOU.
AND A MR PEARSON TOLD US YOU WERE BOTH ON THE RIVER BANK'?
WE ALSO HAVE CCTV FOOTAGE OF YOU BOTH AT MR TRIPPETS FARM.?
FRANK TAKES A BREATH..THEN SAYS..
YES OFFICER..WE WERE BOTH ON THAT RIVER BANK. I WAS FISHING.JEAN WAS DOING HER CROCHET.
I DONT KNOW ANY MORE THAN THAT.
'VERY WELL SAYS THE OFFICER.. '
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE'LL BE IN TOUCH IF WE NEED MORE..

THEN THE OFFICER LEAVES...

FRANK TURNS TO JEAN..
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. WERE GOING BACK TO THE RIVER.
PREPARE A FLASK AND SOME SANDWICHES..TUNA WILL DO.
WE NEED TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. 
JEAN PUTS DOWN HER CROCHET.
SHES NOT TALKING.
SHE GOES TO THE KITCHEN.
FRANK CHECKS THE NEWS..
BREAKING NEWS. BODY OF MURDERED SOLICTOR FOUND.
FRANK SHOUTS OUT..JEAN..JEAN..QUICK..LOOK AT THIS..
JEAN COMES FROM KITCHEN. FRANK TURNS UP VOLUME.
NEWS ANNOUNCER SAYS ..
THE FAMILY HAVE BEEN INFORMED BUT NOW WAIT FOR FULL IDENTIFICATION.
ITS BELIEVED THE MURDERER IS A LOCAL MAN.

FRANK TURNS OFF THE TV.
SO THATS IT SAYS JEAN. WERE IN THE CLEAR. THEY FOUND HIM.
ARE WE STILL GOING IN THE MORNING..?
FRANK IS PACKING A RUCKSAC...YES ..WERE STILL GOING IN THE MORNING.

THEY ARRIVE NEXT MORNING AT THE FARM AND ARE UNPACKING WHEN MR TRIPPET THE FARMER APPEARS.
MORNING HE SAYS..NICE DAY..
YES SAYS FRANK.HOW ARE YOU. 
OH YOU KNOW SAYS THE FARMER. ALWAYS BUSY. GOT SOME SHEEP STUCK YESTERDAY DOWN BY RIVER.
STUPID THINGS. GOT FAST ON RIVER BANK IN BRAMBLES.
JUST NEAR WHERE YOU SIT.
ANYWAY, I GOT EM OUT SAFE.
YOU SEE THAT ON THE NEWS..THEY FOUND THAT MURDERED BLOKE.
ABOUT HALF A MILE UPSTREAM. 
UPSTREAM ASKS FRANK..?
YEP..NEAR FREDS OLD PLACE. HE WAS A MAD ONE.THREATENED ME ONCE THE OLD BUGGER.
WITH A SHOTGUN. HE HAD DIMMENTIA YOU KNOW,? 
MAD HE WAS..BATTERED HIS WIFE REGULAR. POOR OLD MAYVIS.
BLACK EYES AND MORE I DONT DOUBT. BASTARD HE WAS.
JEAN SAYS..BASTARDOS..!!
YES.. LAUGHS THE FARMER..BASTARDOS.. 
YOU SPEAK SPANISH ASKS THE FARMER TO JEAN..?
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS FROM PERU..SHE SAYS.
PERU EH.. MY WIFES BEEN LEARING SPANISH FOR YEARS.
YOU SHOULD CALL AT THE HOUSE SOME TIME. HAVE A NATTER WITH HER IN SPANISH.
YES..SAYS JEAN, THAT WOULD BE NICE. 
OK THEN..ILL LET YOU GET DOWN THE RIVER. ENJOY THE DAY.
AND THE FARMER FLOMPS IN HIS WELLIES ACROSS THE FARMYARD.

FRANK AND JEAN HURRY ACROSS THE FIELDS TO THEIR SPOT ON THE RIVERBANK.
FRANK IMEDIETLY GETS OUT HIS ROD REST, BATTERS DOWN SOME WEEDS AND LOOKS DOWN.
JEAN SETS HER CHAIR UP AND GETS OUT HER CROCHET.
JESUS..SAYS FRANK..
WHAT ASKS JEAN.?
FRANK LOOKS AT HER..PAUSES THEN SAYS..HES STILL HERE.

FRANK SETS UP HIS RODS. HE'S FISHING FOR BARBEL.ONE ROD WITH A LEDGER AND 
ANOTHER THAT SINKS BAIT IN A FEEDER.
THE IDEA BEING THE FEEDER WHICH EMITS MAGGOTTS GRADUALY ATTRACTS THE FISH.
THEN ONCE IN THE AREA, THEY GO FOR THE BAIT ON THE HOOK.
WELL THATS THE PLAN.
FRANK GETS A TUG ON THE LINE. HE PULLS IT BACK.
ITS HEAVY. ITS REELING IN SLOWLY BUT THERE IS LITTLE STRESS.
 FRANK THINKS ITS JUST A CLUMP OF WEEDS.
SLOWLY HE REELS IN. TRYING NOT TO BREAK HIS LINE.
SLOWLY SLOWLY.. GENTLY HE REELS IN.
THEN HE CAN SEE..AS THE CATCH SURFICES..
ITS CLOTH.. HE GETS THE LANDING NET..
HE SCOOPS IT UP IN THE NET..ITS A JACKET..
WELL WELL HE SAYS TO JEAN..LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT..
JEAN ISNT INTERESTED..SHE THINKS ITS A FISH..
FRANK TAKES THE JACKET FROM THE NET..OPENS IT UP..
HE CHECKS THE POCKETS..
OUTSIDE LEFT AND RIGHT..NOTHING..
BUT INSIDE BREAST POCKET..A WALLET...
ITS SOAKING WET.. HE DECIDES NOT TO DISTURB THE CONTENTS...
HE SAW THIS TECHNIQUE ON AN EPISODE OF COLLUMBO..
BETTER TO LET IT DRY OUT..
JEAN ..LOOK ..
WHAT IS IT SHE ASKS..?
ITS A MANS JACKET..AND LOOK..HIS WALLET..
OPEN IT FRANK SHE SAYS..IT MIGHT TELL US ..WHO HE IS..?
NO SAYS FRANK.. WE NEED TO GET THIS HOME AND DRIED OUT.IF WE TRY 
TO OPEN IT NOW..IT COULD BREAK APPART..
I SAW THIS ON COLLUMBO..AND WE NEED TO GET THIS JACKET HOME TOO..
IT MAY HOLD CLUES. 
AND SAYS FRANK..ILL CAST IN AGAIN THERE..YOU NEVER KNOW..WE MIGHT FIND HIS TROUSERS.
JEAN ISNT AMMUSED..
FRANK CASTS IN AGAIN..
JEAN SAYS..FRANK.. THATS A DEAD MAN THERE IN THE RIVER,,
WE CANT JUST SIT HERE AND PRETEND..LIKE NOTHINGS WRONG.
FRANK FEELS A TIGHTNESS ON THE LINE..
HANG ON ..HE SAYS ..WHATS THIS.. ?
HE REELS IN. 
ITS BIG AND ITS HEAVY..ITS VERY VERY HEAVY.
SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY FRANK REELS IN HIS LINE.
INSTINCIVELY HE KNOWS THIS IS IMPORTANT.
GRADUALLY WHATEVER IS ON HIS LINE IS APPROACHING.
HE WANTS TO REACH FOR THE KEEP NET BUT ITS SO HEAVY HE KNOWS ITS OF NO USE.
THEN IT APPEARS. ITS A SUITCASE.
JEAN..LOOK..LOOK AT THIS.MY GOD. ITS A SUITCASE.
FRANK KNOWS THAT BREAKING STRAIN OF HIS LINE IS 40 LBS.

WHILE THE SUITCASE IS IN THE WATER ITS WEIGHT IS REDUCED BUT ONCE IT MEETS LAND
THE LINE COULD VERY EASILY SNAP.FRANK CAREFULLY REELS IN THE LINE.
THEN THERE, AT THE EDGE OS THE BANK IS A SMALL BROWN LEATHER SUITCASE.
FRANK GOES DOWN INTO THE WATER AND LIFTS IT TO THE BANKING.
ITS VERY HEAVY. AS HE LIFTS IT WATER POURS FROM ITS SIDES.
AND IT GETS LIGHTER.ONCE ASHORE HE WAITS.
JEAN SAYS..COME ON FRANK..OPEN IT.!!
FRANK WAITS..NO JEAN..NOT YET..I WANT ALL THE WATER TO DRAIN OUT FIRST.
HAVE A LITTLE PATIENCE..PLEASE.
FRANK IS AS EXCITED AS JEAN BUT HE WAITS.
LETS HAVE SOME SOUP JEAN FROM THE FLASK AND A SANDWICH.
DID YOU DO TUNA..?
JEAN GETS UP AND GOES TO THE RUCKSAC..
I DID TWO KINDS SHE SAYS. TUNA AND HAM AND CHEESE.
ILL HAVE A TUNA PLEASE SAYS FRANK.
THEN, AS IF FROM KNOWHERE, THE MAN WITH THE DOG APPEARS.
MORNING HE SAYS. NICE DAY AGAIN.
JEAN FUSSES OVER THE DOG.HELLOO RUBY.YOU HAVING A NICE WALK.?
OH SAYS THE MAN, SHE LOVES IT OUT HERE AS MUCH AS I DO.
DOES SHE LIKE TUNA ASKS JEAN.
SHE LOVES IT SAYS THE MAN.THEN HE SAYS..
YOU HEARD ABOUT THE DEAD FELLA..?
YES SAYS FRANK. WE HAD A VISIT FROM THE POLICE.
I TOLD THEM I SAW YOU SAID THE MAN. I WAS ASKED SO I TOLD THEM.
ITS NOT LIKE WE HAD ANYTHING TO HIDE. IS IT..HE SAYS.
TRUE SAID FRANK, BUT ALL THE SAME, IT WAS WORRYING.
I MEAN THERES ME..DRESSED IN CAMMO GEAR AND ALL.
DID YOU SEE THE FOOTAGE THEY PUT OUT ASKS THE MAN.?
NO I DIDNT SAYS FRANK.
LOOKED NOTHING LIKE YOU SAYS THE MAN. AND WHOEVER IT IS..
WELL HE WAS A LOT SHORTER THAN YOU AND WORE A VERY DISTINCTIVE HAT.
DID HE SAYS FRANK.
OH YES SAYS THE MAN. LIKE A VERY COLOURFUL KNITTED BOBBLE HAT.
THE FARMER YOU SEE..HE LET THE POLICE HAVE ALL THE CCTV. WE WERE BOTH ON IT.
FRANK SAYS..YES WE WERE. 
YOU JUST PULLED THAT OUT HAVE YOU. ASKS THE MAN POINTING AT THE SUITCASE..?
FRANK LAUGHS..ITS AMAZING WHAT THE LINE GETS SNAGGED ON.
THE DOG STARTS BARKING AT THE RIVERS EDGE. 
THE MAN PULLS ON THE LEAD..COME BACK RUBY..JEAN GETS SOME TUNA SANDWICH.
COME ON RUBY..SHE SAYS..HERE YOU GO.
THE DOG SNAPS UP THE SANDWICH.
WELL SAYS THE MAN. ILL GET ON MY WAY. HAVE A NICE DAY AND HOPE YOU CATCH A BIG ONE.
THEN THE MAN AND HIS DOG WALK AWAY ALONG THE RIVERBANK.

COME ON FRANK..OPEN IT..SAYS JEAN..
IM DYING TO KNOW WHATS IN THERE.
ALL RIGHT SAYS FRANK ..HANG ON ..PASS ME THAT OLD TOWEL.
FRANK USES THE TOWEL TO DRY OFF THE EDGES OF THE SUITCASE.
THEN ..SLOWLY HE FLICKS BACK THE TWO CATCHES EITHER SIDE OF THE CASE.
THE LEFT ONE FLICKS OPEN IMEDIETLY..BUT THE RIGHT ONE IS JAMMED,
LOOK SAYS JEAN..ITS A NUMBER LOCK. 
FRANK PUTS HIS READING GLASSES ON..YES..HE SAYS..
LETS SEE..
HE TURNS THE NUMBERED WHEELS TO 000 .HE TRIES THE CATCH..NOTHING.
TRY 123 SAYS JEAN..WHY 123 ASKS FRANK..?
DONT KNOW SAYS JEAN..JUST A GUESS.
FRANK TRIES 123 AND HEY PRESTO THE CATCH OPENS.
OH MY GOD SAYS JEAN..I WAS RIGHT..
YES YOU WERE JEAN SAYS FRANK..WELL DONE.
WELL COME ON THEN SAYS JEAN ..OPEN IT..
FRANK, HANDS ON TOP OF CASE PAUSES..
LISTEN JEAN HE SAYS.. I WANT TO PREPARE YOU .
WE DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS IN THIS CASE. IT COULD BE ANYTHING.
WHAT YOU MEAN ASKS JEAN.?.
WELL SAYS FRANK, WHAT IF ITS HUMAN BODY PARTS.?
DONT BE SILLY SAYS JEAN..NOW COME ON ..OPEN IT..
FRANK TAKES THE SIDES OF THE SUITCASE LID AND VERY SLOWLY OPENS IT.
GLISTENING IN THE SUNLIGHT ARE FOUR BARS OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE GOLD.
OH MY JESUS SAYS FRANK..OH BASTARDOS SAYS JEAN..SHE TURNS TO FRANK..
IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS..?
YOU MAY BE RIGHT JEAN..PASS ME THE RUCKSAC.
QUICKLY FRANK PUTS THE BARS IN. WAIT SAYS JEAN LOOK..AN ENVELOPE..
ITS SOAKING WET SAYS FRANK. RIGHT..NOW LISTEN.DID YOU BRING A BIN LINER..?
YES FRANK YOU KNOW I ALWAYS CLEAR UP OUR RUBISH..
GOOD SAYS FRANK..NOW,, THE JACKET..THE SUITCASE IN THE BIN LINER.
GOD THIS RUCKSAC WEIGHS A BIT ,,
DONT WORRY SAYS FRANK..ILL MANAGE THAT.

FRANK AND JEAN ARE LOADING THEIR STUFF INTO THE CAR. MR TRIPPET THE FARMER APPEARS.
HES HOLDING AN EGG CARTON..COMEE ESTELANA..HE SAYS..OHH SAYS JEAN BUANI..
I TOLD THE WIFE HE SAYS..SHE SAYS YOUR WELCOME ANYTIME TO VISIT AND CATCH UP ON THE SPANISH.
AND HERE HE SAYS..FRSHLY LAID..SOME EGGS FOR YOU.
FRANK PUTS HIS HAND IN HIS POCKET..THATS VERY KIND HE SAYS..WHAT I OWE YOU..?
OH THATS OK..LEAST I CAN DO..I MEAN I WAS A BIT SORRY BUT HAD TO TELL THE BOBBIES SEE.
THEY ASKED ME ABOUT THE CCTV. I NEVER CLICKED REALLY. ITS JUST FOR FARM YARD REALLY.
LOTS OF THEFT ON FARMS THESE DAYS..
ANYWAY..THEY FOUND THE BODY..NOW THEY JUST GOTTA CATCH THE MURDERER.
ANYWAY.. I BEST GET OFF AND LET YOU GOOD FOLK SORT YOURSELVES..
TAKE CARE NOW....
AND WITH THAT HE'S GONE.

FRANK AND JEAN UNLOAD THE CAR AT HOME.
THE HEAVY RUCKSAC. JEAN BRINGS IN THE BIN LINER.
PUT THE JACKET ON THE CLOTHES HORSE. FRANK GETS THE WALLET AND PUTS IT ON THE RADIATOR..
HE TURNS THE HEATING THERMOSTAT UP TO 21...
JEAN SAYS..21..WE'LL NEVER AFFORD THAT FRANK..
FRANK SAYS DONT WORRY LOVE..I THINK OUR WORRIES ARE OVER.
HE OPENS THE RUCKSAC AND CAREFULLY LIFTS OUT THE GOLD BARS.
HE PLACES THEM ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
HE SITS STARING AT THEM..SO DOES JEAN..
YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR LOOKING AT JEAN..SAYS FRANK..?
I DONT KNOW SAYS JEAN..
YOUR LOOKING AT OUR HOLIDAY TO AUSTRALIA..
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS..THATS WHAT YOUR LOOKING AT.
JEAN SAYS..ILL MAKE SOME SOUP..

NEXT MORNING.

FRANK PICKS UP ONE OF THE GOLD BARS.
HE TRIES TO BITE A CORNER.AND HE CAN, AND HE DOES.
ITS DEFINATLY GOLD HE THINKS..
BUT GOD..SO MUCH OF IT.. SUDDENLY FEAR GRIPS HIM.
HE NEEDS TO HIDE IT..WHERE SHALL HE PUT IT..?
JEAN COMES IN WITH TEA..
CAN I ASK A QUESTION FRANK..I KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY EXCITING BUT..?
BUT WHAT ASKS FRANK..?
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE BODY..?
AHH SAYS FRANK..LOOK AT THIS..HE SLOWLY OPENS THE WALLET HE DRIED OUT.
HE'S KENETH BAGSHAW.
DRIVING LICENCE.PASSPORT.CREDIT CARDS.AND HERE A PIECE OF PAPER WITH NUMBERS ON.
OH AND TESCO CLUB CARD.NOW..
OPEN THAT ENVELOPE JEAN. THE ONE FROM THE SUITCASE.
CAREFULLY SHE REVEALS ITS CONTENTS. A LETTER.IT SAYS..

MY NAME IS KENETH BAGSHAW. IF YOUR READING THIS YOUVE FOUND MY BELONGINGS AND MY GOLD.
I HOPE IT BRINGS YOU MORE HAPPYNESS THAN IT DID ME.
I ONLY DID THIS BEACUSE MY WIFE SANDRA CHEATED ON ME.I LOVED HER TO THE MOON AND BACK.EVEN BEYOND 
OTHER GALAXIES LIKE ANDROMIDES AND PYROGLAXIA..AND EVEN FURTHER INTO BLACK HOLES AND THAT.
THE GOLD WAS SOMETHING I HAD TUCKED AWAY FOR OUR RETIRMENT. BUT THAT BITCH HAD TO SLEEP WITH MALCOMB.
I WAS DRIVEN TO THIS BY JEALOUSY AND HATE. I DID KILL MALCOME.AND HE DESRVRED IT
I ALSO KILLED MY WIFE AND IV'E DISPOSED OF BOTH THEIR BODIES.
MY BODY WILL BE FOUND NO DOUBT ONE DAY IN THE RIVER.
ENJOY THE GOLD BUT REMEMBER..MONEY IS THE ROUTE OF ALL EVIL...
ITS KILLED ME AND IT WILL YOU..
.
HOW VERY INTRIGUEING SAYS FRANK.HE SAYS HE KILLED THIS MALCOMB.
AND WE HAVE HIS ADDRESS HERE. I BET ITS A POSH PLACE IF HE HAD THIS MUCH MONEY.
CANT MAKE OUT THIS LIST OF NUMBERS.
JEAN SAYS..COULD BE PIN NUMBERS FOR THEM CARDS.
FRANK SAYS OH JEAN WELL DONE.I THINK WE'LL GET SOME SHOPPING IN.
FRANKS WEARS A HUGE GRIN AND GIVES JEAN A BIG HUG.

RIGHT SAYS FRANK..FIRST WE GO TO THIS GUYS HOUSE.JUST HAVE A LOOK.
IF IM RIGHT, THIS KEY I FOUND IN HIS TOP POCKET IS FOR HIS FRONT DOOR.
JEAN SAYS..I'LL MAKE SOME SANDWICHES. 
NO NEED LOVE, SAYS FRANK.I THINK WE'LL BE DINING IN STYLE TODAY.

THEY SET OFF TO FIND THE ADDRESS.
BAGSHAW HALL.
SURRY.

IT TAKES THEM SEVERAL HOURS TO GET THERE BUT FINALY.
MY GOD SAYS FRANK..LOOK AT THAT.
FROM THE MAIN ROAD A LONG WINDING GRAVEL PATH LEADS UP TO THE HOUSE.
ITS CLEARLY NO ORDINARY HOUSE.
ITS TOTALY SECLUDED BY ACRES OF LAND AND WOODS.
VERY SLOWLY, THEY APPROACH THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE.
FRANK SAYS, IF ANYONE SHOULD ASK, WERE LOST AND LOOKING FOR A GARDEN CENTER.
THE CARS TYRES SCRUNCH THE GRAVEL AND THEN STOP.
FRANJ SAYS..JESUS JEAN, DID YOU EVER SEE THE LIKE,?
NO FRANK I DIDNT.ITS BEAUTUFUL.
THEY SIT IN THE CAR AND WAIT. FRANK LOOKS LEFT AND RIGHT,IN FRONT AND BEHIND.
NO ONE.ITS EERILY QUIET.
WHAT YOU THINK JEAN..SHALL WE HAVE A LOOK ROUND.
YES SAYS JEAN.
THEY CLOSE THE CAR DOORS QUIETLY.THEN THEY SET OFF TO WALK AROUND THE HOUSE.
AT THE REAR THERES A HUGE CONSERVATORY.
FRANK PEERS IN THROUGH THE GLASS OF THE BACK DOOR.
WAIT SAYS JEAN..WHAT IF THERES ALARMS.?
I MEAN A PLACE LIKE THIS. SURELY .
FRANK TAKES THE KEY FROM HIS POCKET.
IT FITS PERFECTLY INTO THE CONSERVATORY DOOR LOCK.
THERES ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT SAYS FRANK.
VERY SLOWLY HE TURNS THE KEY.
THEN CLICK.THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED.
LISTEN JEAN HE SAYS, IF AN ALARM GOES OFF WHEN I TURN THIS HANDLE WE RUN 
BACK TO THE CAR AS FAST AS WE CAN..OK.?
JEAN NODS IN AGREEMENT.
AGAIN SLOWLY FRANK TURNS THE DOOR HANDLE RELEASING THE LOCK.
THERE IS NO SOUND OF ALARM. 
HE GENTLY EASES THE DOOR OPEN AND THEY BOTH WALK INTO THE CONSERVATORY.
JUST LOOK AT THIS PLACE JEAN.ITS A PALACE.
THEY ARE BOTH GOBSMACKED.FURNISHINGS AND FITTINGS LIKE THEVE NEVER SEEN.
JEAN WISPERS, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD TAKE OUR SHOES OFF.?
NO WISPERS FRANK.JUST IN CASE WE NEED TO DASH.
I MEAN WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF THERES ANYONE IN HERE .
THEY SLOWLY MOVE THROUGH THE CONSERVATORY INTO A LARGE OPEN PLAN LIVING ROOM.
ITS HUGE. AND THE FAR END, A GRAND PIANO.
ON THE LEFT THERES A HUGE FIREPLACE.SO BIG THERES A STORE OF LOGS EACH SIDE.
ANTIQUES ON TABLES AND WORKS OF ART DECORATE THE WALLS.
ON THE RIGHT SIDE THERES A DOORWAY LEADING TO THE HALL AND A HUGE STAIRCASE.
FRANK WALKS OVER THE FRONT DOOR.THERES A KEY IN THE LOCK.
THE HALLWAY HAS A BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN TILED FLOOR.
FROM THE CIELING HANGS AN ENORMOUS GLASS CHANDALEER.
FRANK TENTATIVLY CALLS UP THE STAIRS..HELLO.!!!!
THERES NO REPLY. UNDER THE STAIRWAY THERES A DOOR THAT LEADS TO THE KITCHEN.
IT LOOKS OUT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFULY LAID OUT GARDENS.
THERES A POND AND A FOUNTAIN.
JEAN SAYS..JUST LOOK AT THIS KITCHEN FRANK AND LOOK THERE.
WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED.AN AGA.
RIGHT SAYS FRANK.I THINK WEVE SEEN ENOUGH.NEXT PART OF THE PLAN.
WE LOCK UP AND DRIVE HOME,STOPPING FOR SOME SHOPPING ON THE WAY.
THEN IN A JIFFY THERE BACK IN THE CAR.
JEAN SAYS, I CANT BELIEVE THERE WAS NO ALARM FRANK.
ME TOO SAYS FRANK. BUT STILL, WE KNOW WE CAN GET IN.
WE'LL COME TOMMOROW NIGHT AND HAVE A GOOD LOOK ROUND.

FRANK STOPS ON THE WAY HOME AT A SERVICE STATION.
PART TWO SAYS FRANK. SEE IF THE CARDS WORK.
HE GOES INTO THE SHOP AREA OF THE SERVICE STATION AND CHOOSES SOME SANDWICHES,
CRISPS AND CHOCOLATE.
THE CASHIRE SAYS ABRUBPLY..CARD OR CASH..?
ERR..CARD SAYS FRANK.OK SAYS THE CASHIRE THATS 12.50...
HE TAKES A CARD FROM HIS WALLET AND TAPS THE READER.PING.
LIKE A RECIEPT ASKS THE CASHIRE..? ERM,YES PLEASE SAYS FRANK.
FRANK PICKS UP THE ITEMS AND HEADS BACK TO THE CAR.
HE CCAN FEEL THE SWEAT ON HIS NECK.
HE PASSES JEAN THE SANDWICHES AND ITEMS THEN GETS IN THE CAR.
TWELVE POUND BLOODY FIFTY. BLOODY RIP OF MERCHANTS.
JEAN SAYS..IT WORKED THEN..? THE CARD..?
LIKE DREAM SAYS FRANK.SO TOMOROW WERE GOING SHOPPING.

ITS GONE NINE BY THE TIME THEY GET HOME. 
JEAN SAYS..ILL MAKE SOME SOUP TO GO WITH SANDWICHES.
LEEK AND POTATO OK..?
PERFECT SAYS FRANK WHO IS BUSY TAPPING AWAY ON THE LAPTOP.
JEAN COMES IN WITH THE SOUP ON A TRAY.
SHE PLACES IT ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
WIERD SAYS FRANK..VERY WIERD.
WHATS THAT ASKS JEAN.
IVE DONE SEARCH AFTER SEARCH ON ALL SORTS BUT ITS LIKE HE NEVER EXISTED.
NO MENTION OF HIM.NOTHING ON FACEACHE OR TWITTER..ZILCH.
STRANGE.
YES SAYS JEAN TAKIMG THE REMOTE. LETS SEE WHATS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD SHE SAYS.
SHE TURNS ON THE NEWS CHANNEL.ITS THOMAS SHAFFERKNACKER WITH THE WEATHER.
SO HE SAYS, STORM NORMA IS EXPECTED BY TOMMOROW EVENING AND IT WILL CAUSE SEVERE FLOODING.
THE WORST HIT AREAS YOU CAN SEE ON THIS MAP.
OH CRIKEY SAYS JEAN. THATS ON OUR RIVER THEN FRANK. 
CHRIST, WHAT IF IT FLOODS AND DRAGS HIS BODY OUT.
IF IT FLOODS THAT BAD LOVE, THAT BODY WILL JUST GET WASHED OUT TO SEA.
AND THAT WILL BE DOING US A BIG FAVOUR AS YOU CAN IMAGINE.
LETS JUST CHECK ON THAT RIVER APP. WE CAN SEE HOW HIGH THE WATER LEVELS GET.

NEXT MORNING THEIR UP EARLY. 
WE'LL DRESS A LITTLE SMARTER TODAY LOVE.
DONT WANT TO LOOK OUT OF PLACE.
AND GUESS WHERE WERE GOING FIRST..?
I DONT KNOW SAYS JEAN.
THE PHONE SHOP. GETTING YOU A NEW PHONE.

THEY PULL UP ON THE CAR PARK OF PHONES IS US.
COME ON LOVE, LETS CHOOSE YOU A NICE NEW ONE.
THE WALLS INSIDE THE SHOP ARE COVERED IN PHONES OF EVERY TYPE.

A BEARDED ASIAN MAN SAYS..GOOD MORNING, CAN I BE OF ANY ASSISTANCE..?
ERMM..YES SAYS FRANK..WERE LOOKING FOR A NEW PHONE FOR MY WIFE HERE.
JEAN POINTS TO ONE ON THE WALL. I LIKE THAT ONE FRANK SHE SAYS.
THATS THE LATEST APPLE XD 1000 SAYS THE ASIAN MAN.
NOT THE CHEAPEST ILL GIVE YOU THAT BUT WORTH EVERY PENNY JUST FOR THE CAMERA IN MY OPPINION.
MAY WE LOOK AT ASKS FRANK.
HES SAYS THE SHOP MAN, NO PROBLEM, ILL JUST TAKE IT OVER HERE TO THE COUNTER.
THERE WE ARE SIR. AND ITS AVAILABLE IN THREE COLOURS.
WHITE BLACK AND THIS PURPLE COLOUR. 
AND HOW MUCH IS IT ASKS FRANK.
WELL ITS NORALLY SOLD IN A PLAN WITH ONE OF THE DATA PROVIDERS.
SO YOU COULD SAY BUY IT OVER TWO YEARS CONTRACT.
LETS SEE,
NO SAYS FRANK WE'LL JUST BUY IT. 
IN ONE GO ASKS THE SHOP MAN..?
YES SAYS FRANK. IN ONE GO.
WELL IN ONE GO I CAN DO IT FOR 855. SHOULD BE 950.
AND WHAT ABOUT SIM CARD..?
YES ..WE'LL NEED A SIM CARD.
OK SAYS SHOP MAN.. CAN DO PAY AS GO SIM DEAL TOO.
WITH ee.UNLIMETED CALLS AND TEXTS..5 GIG DATA.
17.50 PLUS VAT.
YES SAYS FRANK.WE'LL TAKE IT.
THANK YOU SIR, I'LL JUST PUT THAT ALL TOGETHER FOR YOU.
BY THE WAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR INSURANCE PLAN.?
JUST IN CASE, YOU NEVER KNOW GET STOLEN OR LOSE IT?
ITS ONLY NINE POUNDS A MONTH.PEACE OF MIND INIT.?
YES FRANK SAYS JEAN.GET THE INSURANCE .
OK SAYS THE SHOP MAN.ILL JUST GET ONE FROM IN THE BACK.
HE COMES BACK WITH NEW PHONE.POPS IN THE SIM AND IT LIGHTS UP.
THERE YOU GO SIR.ILL JUST TOT IT UP.
HE PRINTS OUT A RECIEPT ALL ITEMIZED.
THERE WE ARE SIR, THATS A TOTAL OF 920 EXACTLY.
IF YOU CAN JUST SIGN HERE ..AND HERE..
THERE WE GO. NOW HOW WOULD YOU PAY..CARD OR CASH.?
ERMM CARD SAYS FRANK.VERY WELL. JUST POP CARD IN THERE.
FRANK GETS THE CARD FROM HIS WALLET AND SUDENLY REALISES
 HE DOESNT KNOW WHICH PIN IS WHICH ON THE PIECE OF PAPER
HE DECIDES ON POT LUCK.
HE POPS THE CARD IN.
TOP OF THE LIST IS 7643..
THE MACHINE MAKES A NOISE THEN SAYS REMOVE CARD.
THE MAN SAY THATS ALL OK THEN.
CARDS GONE THROUGH.
ILL JUST POP IT THE BAG,THERE YOU ARE SIR.
THANKS AND HAVE A GOOD DAY..

IN THE CAR FRANK AND JEAN ARE LAUGHING.
OH MY GOD JEAN..I CANT BELIEVE IT.I WAS SO SURE THE PIN WOULD BE WRONG.
OH ME TOO SAYS JEAN.
WELL THERE YOU ARE LOVE. ONE NEW PHONE AND IM SORRY I THREW THE OLD ONE.
I WAS BEING A BIT HASTY.
OH FRANK SHE SAYS, DONT WORRY, IF YOU HADNT THROWN IT WE MIGHT NOT BE HERE NOW.
I WOULD DEFFINATLY HAVE PHONED THE POLICE.

FRANK SAYS WELL GO ON THEN, OPEN IT. GET IT SWITCHED ON.
SEND ME A TEXT.THEN I'LL KNOW YOUR NEW NUMBER.
NOW..WHERE NEXT.?

BACK AT HOME, FRANK AND JEAN UNLOAD BAG AFTER BAG OF SHOPPING.
IN THE HOUSE JEAN GIVES FRANK A BIG KISS. 
THANK YOUN FRANK SHE SAYS. ITS BEEN ONE THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
JUST BEING ABLE TO BUY WHAT WE WANT WITHOUT COUNTING THE PENNIES.
I KNOW SAYS FRANK. WE ARE VERY LUCKY.NOW, ILL POUR US BOTH A NICE GLASS OF THIS CHABLI
AND THEN I'LL CHECK OUT MY NEW WADERS.
JEAN PUTS A LASAGNA IN THE OVEN AND SOME GARLIC BREAD.
FRANK GOES TO THE LAPTOP.
AGAIN HE SEARCHES FOR KENETH BAGSHAW.AND AGAIN NOTHING.
APART FROM NEW WADERS FRANK HAS BAUGHT TWO HEAD TORCHES.
THESE WILL BE NEEDED TOMOROW NIGHT SAYS FRANK.
TOMOROW NIGHT ASKS JEAN..?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TONIGHT.
NOPE SAYS FRANK, TOPPING UP THE GLASSES, TONIGHT WE JUST RELAX.
ITS BEEN A LONG DAY.
WE'LL GO BACK TO THE HOUSE TOMMOROW NIGHT.
THEY CUDDLE UP ON THE COUCH.

NEXT MORNING FRANKS UP EARLY.HE HAS AN URGENT JOB ON HIS MIND.
WHERE TO HIDE THE GOLD.THEN IT HITS HIM.IN THE LOFT.A WATER TANK.PERFECT.
HE TIES THE GOLD BARS WITH STRING.
THEN HE LOWERS THE BARS INTO THE WATER TANK TILL THEY HIT THE BOTTOM.
HE TAPES THE ENDS OF THE STRINGS TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE WATER TANK.
PRFECT..HE THINKS.
DOWN STAIRS JEAN IS COOKING BACON AND EGGS.
WELL..SAYS JEAN. WHERE YOU PUT IT.?
NEVER YOU MIND LOVE FRANK SAYS. BETTER YOU DONT KNOW.IF IT ALL WENT TITS UP
YOU WOULDNT BE ABLE TO TELL ANYONE ANYTHING.
I SEE SHE SAYS. FAIR ENOUGH FRANK.I TRUST YOUR JUDGMENT..MOST OF THE TIME.
AND SHE SMILES.
TWO ROUNDS OR THREE SHE ASKS FRANK.THREE PLEASE HE SAYS.

AFTER BREAKFAST FRANKS ON THE LAPTOP AGAIN.
HES SEARCHING GOLD PRICES..
ITS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH.
JEAN SAYS..FRANK..WHAT DO WE DO IF THE CARDS STOP WORKING, I MEAN IF WE OVER SPEND.
GOOD QUESTION SAYS FRANK.IM HOPING WE CAN FIND DETAILS AT HIS HOUSE CONCERNING BANKING.
WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO MONITOR WHAT GOES IN AND OUT.
AND I WANT YOU TO KEEP ALL THE RECIEPTS OF EVERY PENNY WE SPEND.
AND NOTE IT DOWN. LIKE A CASH FLOW.
OK SAYS JEAN, NOW GET THIS WHILE ITS HOT.
OH JEAN..SAYS FRANK. BACON NEVER TASTED SO GOOD.

I'M EXCITED FRANK..ABOUT TONIGHT. I JUST HOPE THE HOUSE IS STILL EMPTY.
AND TODAY..WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY.MORE SHOPPING..?
I'M SO CHUFFED WITH THIS NEW PHONE FRANK.I CAN EVEN GET APPS ON IT.
COULDN'T DO ANY OF THAT ON THE OLD ONE.
WELL SAYS FRANK IT WAS ABOUT TWELVE YEARS OLD.
THINGS HAVE MOVED ON SINCE THE NOKIA 315.
THEY BOTH LAUGH.
NOW SAYS FRANK..TODAY..TODAY..?
NOTHING TOO STRENUOUS.NEED OUR ENERGY FOR TONIGHT.
YOU HAVE THE WEATHER ON YOUR NEW PHONE LOVE..?
OOOH NOT JUST THAT FRANK..ITS LIKE A COMPTOR HONEST.
WELL CHECK THE WEATHER FOR ME ABOUT THIS STORM NORMA..?
JEAN BURRIES HER HEAD IN THE PHONE..
OH CRIKEY SHE SAYS..ITS BEEN UPGRADED TO SEVERE. THERE WILL DEFINATLY BE FLOODING.
THE RIVER IS ALREADY NEAR TO BURSTING.
GOOD SAYS FRANK..THATS WHAT WE NEED.
CANT HELP BUT FEEL A BIT SORRY FOR POOR OLD KENETH,
BUT TAKEN OUT TO SEA IS NOT A BAD WAY TO GO.
THERE WILL BE LOTS OF WILD LIFE FEASTING ON HIM AT SEA.
OH FRANK PLEASE..DONT START WITH ALL THAT NATURE STUFF AGAIN.
YOU KNOW IT UPSETS ME.
FRANK SAYS, IM SORRY LOVE BUT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT THE ENVIROMENT.
WE LOSE SPECIES EVERY YEAR AND THEY WONT BE COMING BACK.
WE POUR MILLIONS OF GALLONS OF HUMAN EXCREMENT AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE INTO OUR RIVERS.
CHEMICALS AND DRUGS..YES JEAN..THE WASTE DRUGS LIKE STEROIDS AND THE PILL HAVE CAUSED
SOME SPCIES TO CHANGE SEX..
WHAT SAYS JEAN, LIKE THIS TRANS THING..?
NO LOVE NOT EXACTLY. BUT THESE DRUGS AND CHEMICALS HAVE MADE SOME FEMALE FISH BECOME MALE.
AND VICE VERSA..TROUT, SALMON, LOTS OF OTHERS..CAN NO LONGER BREED.
JEAN SAYS I BLAME THE PARENTS..
FRANK IS THINKING..
RIGHT HE SAYS..GET YOUR GLAD RAGS ON ..WERE GOING OUT.
WHERE TO ASKS JEAN.
NEVER YOU MIND SAYS FRANK ITS A SUPRISE.

JEAN COMES DOWN STAIRS IN A FROCK.
WILL THIS DO FRANK SHE ASKS.
PERFECT SAYS FRANK.
WHERE ARE WE GOING LOVE SHE ASKS AGAIN.
TO THE CASH MASHINE SAYS FRANK. THEN AFTER FOR A SUPRISE.

BUT FIRST I NEED THE BATHROOM.
FRANK GOES UPSTAIRS.
HES UP THERE A GOOD FIFTEEN MINUTES.
JEAN CALLS UP..HAVE YOU FELL IN..SHE YELLS.?
FRANK APPEARS..HES WEARING A FALSE MUSTACHE, BEARD AND WIG.
GINGER.
JEAN BURSTS INTO FITS OF LAUGHTER. 
WHAT ASKS FRANK.
WHAT ASKS JEAN STILL CHORTLING..
YOU LOOK BLOODY STRANGE THATS ALL.
FRANK LOOKS AT HIMSELF IN THE HALL MIRROR.
HE PUTS SOME FINAL TOUCHES TO HIS DISGUISE.
YOU SEE JEAN ..THEY HAVE CAMERAS ON THOSE CASH MACHINES NOW.
IF I GET THE NUMBER WRONG.
WELL YOU WONT SAYS JEAN, WE USED IT YESTERDAY NO PROBLEM..
I KNOW SAYS FRANK BUT TODAY..ITS THIS CARD..HE WAVES A GOLD CARD AT HER.
NOW THERE ARE FOUR CARDS IN TOTAL BUT..ON THE PAPER WE HAVE FIVE SETS OF NUMBERS.
WE KNOW ITS NOT THAT ONE..SO ITS ONE OF THE OTHER FOUR,
THOSE CASH MASHINES ONLY ALLOW YOU TO TRY THREE TIMES..THEN IT TAKES THE CARD.
SEE WHAT I MEAN..?
HANG ON SAYS JEAN..GIVE ME THE PAPER..
JEAN GETS THE PAPER AND STUDIES IT.
THE NUMBERS ARE 7643..THE CARD THAT WORKS.
THEN WE HAVE.....
        8563
        9433
        7893
AND     3253
CORRECT SAYS FRANK..
WELL SAYS JEAN..NOTICE SOMETHING..?
NOPE SAYS FRANK..
LOOK SAYS JEAN ..ALL THE NUMBERS END WITH A THREE..THATS KENETHS LUCKY NUMBER.
NOW WHICH CARD HOLDS THE MOST MONEY..THE GOLD ONE RIGHT..
YEH SAYS FRANK..
AND WHICH NUMBER STARTS WITH A THREE..?
THE LAST ONE SAYS FRANK..
EXACTLY SAYS JEAN..
OMG JEAN SAYS FRANK ..YOU COULD HAVE WORKED AT ..YOU KNOW..
THAT CODE BREAKING PLACE IN THE WAR..
BLENHEIM PALACE..?
RIGHT..WE NEED TO TRY THIS ..HOW DO I LOOK ASKS FRANK.
LIKE YOUR AUDITIONING FOR TOPPOL IN THE WEST END..SHE LAUGHS.
THEIR GETTING IN THE CAR WHEN THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR APPEARS..
HE SHOUTS..'ALRIGHT KEN..? THAT YOU..?
KEN GIVES THE THUMBS UP..JEAN WINDS DOWN THE WINDOW .
HELLO MR TATTERSALL.. WERE GOING TO REHURSALS ..
OH SAYS MR TATTERSALL.. I THOUGHT HE LOOKED DIFFERENT. 
WHATS THE REHURSAL FOR ..? THE KING AND I..SAYS JEAN..
THEN FRANK SPEEDS OFF..

FRANK PULLS INTO TESCO CAR PARK ABOUT SIX MILES FROM HOME.
HE TOUCHES UP HIS WIG AND SAYS TO JEAN..WISH ME LUCK.
HE'S WRITTEN 3253 ON HIS HAND.
HE TAKES OUT THE GOLD CARD..PLACES IT IN THE SLOT..
THE MACHINE ASKS FOR PIN..
HE PUTS IN 3253 .
IT  ASKS WHAT HE WOULD LIKE TO DO..
HE PRESSES WITHDRAWLL..
AMOUNT..HE CHOOSES 200 POUNDS.
THE CASH MASHINE WHIRS..THEN GIVES HIM 200.
HE TAKES THE CARD AND THE CASH.
HE GETS IN THE CAR..HES LOOKING SAD..OH GOD SAYS JEAN
I WAS WRONG..?
FRANK STARTS LAUGHING MADLY..HE BANGS ON THE STEERING WHEEL..JEAN..
YOU WERE BANG ON..HERE ..HE PASSES HER THE CASH..BANG ON ..
HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH..IM GOING BACK JEAN.GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.
GOD SAYS FRANK, I WISH I STILL SMOKED. IDE LOVE ONE NOW
SO JEAN WE NOW HAVE TWO CARDS WE CAN USE.
TWO DOWN ..TWO TO GO..

FRANK AND JEAN ARE HOME AFTER A BUSY DAY.
THEY HAVE VISTED TEN CASH MACHINES AND AT EACH ONE TAKEN 500 ALL FROM THE GOLD CARD.
FRANK KNEW THERE WOULD MOST LIKELY BE A MAX AMOUNT COULD BE WITHDREW ON THE VISA.
SO HE STOPPED AFTER TAKING 900 POUNDS.
INSIDE THE HOUSE FRANK PUTS THE CASH ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
NOW JEAN LOVE..I WANT YOU TO BUNDLE THE MONEY IN TIES OF A THOUSAND.
CHECK IT AS YOU COUNT IT.SHOULD BE 5.900 POUNDS .
THEN LOG IT IN THE BOOK ALONG WITH THESE RECIEPTS .
OH FRANK SHE SAYS, ITS INCREDIBLE ISNT IT.
ALL THIS MONEY. JUST THINK OF ALL WE CAN DO.
I MEAN YOUVE WANTED A NEW SHED FOR YEARS NOW.
AND THAT FENCE NEEDS NEW PANELS.
AND I CAN BUY SOME REALLY NICE WOOL.
AND THAT TUMBLE DRYERS AS OLD AS THE HILLS.
FRANK SAYS ..JEAN LOVE, JUST GET ON WITH THE COUNTING.
WE CAN MAKE PLANS LATER.NOW IM GOING TO ORDER US SOME FOOD TO BE DELEIVERED.
DELIVERED SAYS JEAN..?
YES SAYS FRANK, WE DONT HAVE TIME THIS EVENING TO COOK.
YOU KNOW WHERE WERE GOING LATER.
NOW WHAT YOU FANCY..CHINEESE INDIAN KENTUCKY..?
OOOH YES FRANK KENTUCKY.ITS BEEN YEARS.
RIGHT SAYS FRANK. LARGE BUCKET IT IS. ILL DO IT ON MY PHONE.
WITH GRAVY FRANK..SAYS JEAN.
OOOH YES LOVE..TWO LOTS. I LOVE THAT STUFF.
AND IF THERES ANY LEFT OVER YOU CAN USE IT AS VARNISH.
FRANK LAUGHS. 

NOW JEAN SAYS FRANK, HAVE YOU DONE COUNTING THE MONEY.?
YES FRANK SAYS JEAN.ITS ALL THERE.FIVE BUNDLES OF A THOUSAND AND ANOTHER OF 900.
OK ..GOOD SAYS FRANK. PUT IT THIS BAG. JEAN DOES AS SHES ASKED.
FRANK PUTS THE BAG UNDER THE SINK.
NOW SAYS FRANK ..WHILE WE WAIT FOR THE FOOD I WANT YOU GO AND FIND THE DARKEST CLOTHES YOU CAN.
WE BOTH NEED TO DRESS UNDER COVER NIGHT OPPS..
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ASKS JEAN..?
ITS A MILITARY TERM JEAN. IT MEANS WERE NOT CONSPICOUS IN THE DARK.
OOH SAYS JEAN..I SEE..A BIT LIKE THE SAS..?
EXACTLY JEAN, VERY MUCH SO.
JEAN GOES UPSTAIRS TO LOOK IN HER WARDROBE.
FRANK ANWERS THE DOOR BELL AND PAYS THE DELIVERY MAN.
HE SHOUTS UP STAIRS..
FOODS HERE LOVE, GET THEM FINGER LICKEN CHICKEN WHILE IS HOT.
JEAN COMES DOWN STAIRS. SHES DRESSED IN A BLACK SUIT.. OFFICE STYLE.
WITH BLACK STOCKINGS AND STILLETOES..
WHAT YOU THINK FRANK..? IS THIS BLACK ENOUGH.?
OH JEAN SAYS FRANK YOU LOOK STUNNING BUT..ITS NOT QUITE RIGHT.
WHY NOT SAYS JEAN, I THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE EMMA PEEL.?
YES YOU DO LOVE..A BIT..BUT THOSE SHOES..I MEAN HIGH HEELS..
WHAT IF WE HAVE TO LEG IT.? 
YOU'LL BREAK YOUR ANKLE.
OHH SAYS JEAN..
WEAR YOUR BLACK LEGGINS.TOO.
AND THOSE LITTLE BLACK BOOTS YOU HAVE.
OK SAYS JEAN.

THEY SIT AND ENJOY THE CHICKEN WITH THE NEWS ON.
ITS THOMAS SHAFAKNANCKER AGAIN WITH AN UPDATE.
HE POINTS AT A MAP.AND SAYS..
SO ITS HERE HERE AND HERE.THIS IS WHERE WE EXPECT SEVERE FLOODING.
THE WARNING HAS NOW BEEN RAISED TO RED WHICH MEANS THERE COULD BE 
A RISK OF PROPERTY DAMAGE AS WELL AS A RISK TO LIFE..
YOU CAN KEEP UP TO DATE ON THE WEBITE OR ON THE APP..
FRANK TURNS OFF THE TV..NO NEED TO SEE THE OTHER STUFF HE SAYS.
ALL THE BLOODY WORLD TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER..
KIDS WITH KNIVES AND SCOOTERS,DOGS KILLING PEOPLE,
SCHOLL KIDS KNIFING EACH OTHER..HIGH ON VAPES NO DOUBT,
INFLATION, IMMIGRATION, TAXING THE NATION..
POLLUTION, CORRUPTION, NO SOLLUTION,
WAR AND DESTRUCTION.
POVERTY, NON CONFORMITY, PUBLIC LIABILTY,
THE WHOLE COUNTRY HAS GONE DOWN THE TOILET LOVE.
OH FRANK SAYS JEAN, THAT WAS LOVELY, YOU COULD BE A RAPPER..
FRANK SNIGGERS..EXCEPT I DONT TAKE DRUGS..APART FROM STATINS.

THEY FINISH THE CHICKEN AND FRANK CLEARS THE REMNANTS.
THEN HE SAYS..IM GOING TO GET READY .WE'LL MEET HERE IN TEN MINUTES.
ITS A TWO HOUR DRIVE AS YOU KNOW JEAN SO TOILET.
ETA..9PM..
WHATS ETA FRANK..?
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL..
JEAN SALUTES FRANK AND SAYS, TEN FOUR GOOD BUDDY.

TEN MINUTES LATER FRANK IS STOOD IN THE LOUNGE.HE'S DRESSED IN HIS CAMMO GEAR.
HEAD TO TOE. AND ON HIS HEAD A BLACK BALACLAVA.
HE PASSES JEAN A BLACK WOOLY HAT.
WEAR THIS HE SAYS.
NOW JEAN PASS ME YOUR BOOTS.
FRANK TEARS OFF LENGTHS OF DUCK TAPE AND STICKS IT TO THE SOLES OF HER BOOTS.
WHATS THAT FOR FRANK ASKS JEAN.SO WE DONT LEAVE NO BOOT PRINTS ANYWHERE.
ILL DO MINE TOO.
NOW SAYS FRANK..HERES YOUR HEAD TORCH, TRY IT.
JEAN PLLS THE STRAP ON THE TORCH OVER HERE HEAD.
NOW SAYS FRANK..SWIVEL THE FRONT SO IT POINTS DOWNWARD.
GOOD, NOW TURN IT ON.
JEAN TRIES TO FIND THE BUTTON.
ITS ON THE TOP SAYS FRANK.HE HELPS HER FINGER TO IT.
AHHH SAYS JEAN..YESS OK . GOT IT.
GOOD SAYS FRANK..WE'LL POP THEM IN THE RUCKSACK ..
NOW LET ME CHECK..KNIFE.. EXTRA TORCH..MATCHES..TIN OPENER.
BLACK SPRAY PAINT.
GOOD SAYS FRANK.
SHAL I MAKE A FLASK OF TEA FRANK..
WONT BE NEEDED THANKS LOVE.
NOW..LETS LOAD UP THE CAR AND BE OFF.

THE WEATHER GETS INCREASINGLY WORSE.
RAIN LIKE FRANK NEVER SAW BEFORE.MANY ROADS ARE FLOODED.
BUT EVENTUALLY THEY ARIVE.
FRANK DRIVES SLOWLY UP TO THE FRONT DOOR .
THE HOUSE IS IN COMPLETE DARKNESS.
RIGHT SAYS FRANK.ON WITH THE HEADTORCH BUT DONT SWITCH ON TILL WERE INSIDE.

I'L LIGHT OUR WAY TO THE REAR DOOR WITH THIS. 
ITS HIS HAND TORCH.THEY CLOSE THE CAR DOORS CAREFULLY.
THEN MAKE THIER WAY TO THE REAR OF THE HOUSE.
THE RAIN IS BATTERING DOWN SO FRANK SAYS COME ON..LETS GET IN.
HE OPENS THE BACK DOOR AND THEY STEP INSIDE.
OK SAYS FRANK.HEAD TORCH ON.NOW LISTEN JEAN CAREFULLY.
IF I MAKE THIS SIGNAL WITH MY FIST..SEE..CLOSED FIST,
IT MEANS TURN OF HEADTORCH IMEDIETLY.
IF I OPEN MY FIST LIKE THIS IT MEANS TURN BACK ON.
OK ..? JEAN NODS.
GOOD SAY FRANK. NOW FOLLOW ME.
HE MAKES HIS WAY THROUGH THE CONSERVATORY TO THE LOUNGE.
THEN THROUGH THE DOORWAY THAT LEADS TO THE STAIRCASE.
HE SLOWLY CLIMBS THE STAIRS. THE HE STOPS AT THE TOP.
HE RAISES HIS HAND WITH A CLOSED FIST.
THEY BOTH TURN OFF THEIR TORCHES.
IN THE DISTANCE..THERE IS A FAINT NOISE. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE TALKING.
YOU HEAR THAT JEAN SAYS FRANK.
YES SAYS JEAN..IT SOUNDS LIKE RADIO THREE.
FRANK IS SUPRISED. YOU CAN TELL.
YES SAYS JEAN.THEIR DISCUSSING RACKMANINOFF.
OK SAYS FRANK ..MUST BE THE RADIO.
YES WISPERS JEAN, ITS ON THE RADIO..
FRANK RAISES HIS HAND AND OPENS HIS FIST.
THEY BOTH TURN BACK ON THIER TORCHES.
FRANK CONTINUES ALLONG THE LANDING.HE COMES TO A DOOR BEHIND WHICH HE CAN HEAR THE VOICES.
HE OPENS IT TO REAVAEL A HUGE PLUSH BEDROOM.
GOD LOOK AT THAT JEAN. A FOUR POSTER BED.
THE BEDROOM IS TIDY. KENETHS PIJAMAS ARE FOLDED ON THE BED.

THERE IS ANOTHER DOOR THAT LEADS TO A BATHROOM.AGAIN, ITS HUGE,
LOOK SAYS JEAN..TWO SHOWERS.ITS LIKE THE RITZ IN HERE SHE SAYS.
FRANK SAYS OK..NOW DO YOU NEED TO GO LOVE.
I DO REALLY SHE SAYS. OK SAYS FRANK..LET ME GET THE LIGHT.
FRANK FINDS THE LIGHT SWITCH AND TURNS ON THE LIGHTS.
ILL WAIT OUT SIDE SAYS FRANK.
HE GOES BACK OUT TO THE LANDING. HE WAITS FOR JEAN.THEN HER HEAD APPEARS FROM
BEHIND THE DOOR..SHALL I FLUSH FRANK..SHA ASKS..?
BETTER HAD SAYS FRANK.
THEY SLOWLY MAKE THEIR WAY ALONG THE LANDING TILL THEY COME TO THE NEXT DOOR.
THERE IS A SIGN ON IT IN BRASS..IT SAYS OFFICE.
FRANK TURNS THE DOOR HANDLE AND THEY ENTER. ITS HUGE.
EVERY WALL IS COVERED IN BOOKS.
THERES A SMELL JUST LIKE ANY OLD BOOK SHOP.
ON THE FAR SIDE IS A HUGE POSH MAHOGANY DESK.
ON THE DESK A DESK LIGHT WITH A GREEN GLASS COVER.LIKE LAWYERS HAVE.
HE TURNS ON THE LAMP.FRANK TURNS TO JEAN AND MAKES THE CLOSED HAND GESTURE.
THEY TURN OFF THIER HEAD TORCHES.
FRANK SITS IN THE CHAIR BEHIND THE DESK AND LOOKS.
THERES A KEY IN THE TOP RIGHT HAND DRAWER.
FRANK SAYS ..THIS GUY WAS RIGHT HANDED.
HOW CAN YOU TELL ASKS JEAN.
BECAUSE THE KEY FOR THE DRAWER IS ON THE RIGHT.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT FRANK.?
I SAW IT SAYS FRANK..ON COLLUMBO..
HE TURNS THE KEY AND SLOWLY OPENS THE DRAW..JESUS SAYS JEAN.
A GUN..!!! YES SAYS FRANK AND I'LL WAGER
 THATS THE ONE HE USED TO KILL HIS WIFE AND MALCOMB.
FRANK GOES TO GRAB THE GUN. JEAN STOPS HIM. NO FRANK.
SHE DIPS INTO HER POCKET AND PULLS OUT A PAIR OF MARIGOLD GLOVES.
WEAR THESE FRANK.YOU DONT WANT YOUR PRINTS ON THAT GUN.
JEAN HE SAYS,,YOU ARE A REAL DETECTIVE. YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
YOU CANT BE UNDER PREPARED FRANK. YOU TAUGHT ME THAT.
FRANK PUTS ON THE RUBBER GLOVES AND PICKS UP THE GUN.

HE OPENS THE BARRELS.LOOK HE SAYS ..TWO BULLETS MISSING.
THIS WAS THE MURDER WEAPON FOR SURE.
HE PUTS THE GUN INTO THE RUCKSACK..
THE DESK IN FRONT OF FRANK IS NEAT AND TIDY.NOTHING OUT OF PLACE.
NOW HE OPENS THE SECOND DRAWER DOWN. MORE PAPERS.
FRANK CLOSES THE DRAWER. HANG ON HE SAYS..A GUY THIS ORGANISED MUST HAVE A FILING CABINET
OVER HERE SAYS JEAN.
FRANK JOINS JEAN ACCROSS THE ROOM.THERE'S A TALL GREY FILING CABINET.
THE DRAWERS ARE LABLED.FIRST DRAWER 'A TO H' ..
JEAN SAYS ITS JUST LIKE THE ONE WE HAD AT PARKINSONS.
WELL WERE LOOKING FOR BANK STATEMENTS LOVE SO 
WOULD THAT COME UNDER 'B' OR 'S'..?
I WOULD SAY TOP DRAWER.
FRANK PULLS OPEN THE TOP DRAWER AND JEAN IS RIGHT.THERE ARE THE STATEMENTS.
FRANK GRABS THE LAST ONE FILED AND PULLS IT OUT..
CHRIST HE SAYS..LOOK AT THAT JEAN. 
JEAN SAYS..ARE THOSE NUMBERS MILLIONS FRANK.
THEY SURE ARE LOVE.THIS ACCOUNT HAS TWELVE MILLION PLUS IN IT.
HE GRABS THE REST OF THE STATEMENTS AND PASSES THEM TO JEAN.
PLEASE PUT THESE IN THE RUCKSACK LOVE.
HE CLOSES THE DRAWER AND GOES BACK TO THE DESK.
HE SITS DOWN AND OPENS THE BOTTOM DRAWER.
INSIDE THERE IS A BEAUTFUL WOODEN BOX.
THE LID IS INLAID WITH MOTHER OF PEARL AND IVORY.
HE PICKS UP THE BOX AND PLACES IT ON THE DESK.
JEAN SAYS OH MY WORD..WHAT A THING OF BEAUTY.
FRANK SAYS..NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IN THERE MISS MARPLES..?
IM GUESSING JEWELRY SAYS JEAN.
FRANK SLOWY OPEN THE BOX AND THE CONTENTS GLEAM AND SHINE IN THE LIGHT.
WOOHOO SAYS FRANK.INSIDE THERE ARE WATCHES, RINGS, BRACELETS, NECKLACES.
JEWELRY OF ALL KINDS. AND UNDER THE JEWELRY..GOLD COINS.
LOTS AND LOTS OF GOLD COINS.
HE TAKES ONE OUT .ITS BIGGER THAN AN OLD PENNY.
LOOK AT THAT SAYS FRANK.THAT JEAN IS A REAL SPANISH GOLD DABLOON.
HOW DO KNOW ASKS JEAN..WELL SAYS FRANK..SEE THAT WRITING THATS SPANISH.
I SAW ONE OF THESE ON THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW.. 
IT WAS SO VALUABLE THEY COULDNT PUT A PRICE ON IT BUT THEY SAID
IN ABOUT THE THOUSANDS..
FRANK PUTS THE COIN BACK AND PASSES THE BOX TO JEAN.
OOH ITS HEAVY SHE SAYS..YES..HEAVY SAYS FRANK.
PLEASE PUT IT IN THE RUCKSACK.
NOW SAYS FRANK, OUR WORK IS DONE FOR TODAY.
WE MUST GET HOME.

THEY LOAD THE RUCKSACK INTO THE CAR AND SET OFF.
THE WEATHER IS ATTROCIUOS. THEY SET OFF ALONG THE ROAD AWAY FROM THE HOUSE.
THEY HAVNT DRIVEN FAR WHEN THEY COME TO A POLICE ROAD BLOCK.FRANK SLOWS TO A STOP.
HE WINDS DOWN THE WINDOW AND SHOUTS ..TOUBLE OFFICER..?
THE POLICEMAN COMES TO FRANKS CAR. FLOODED MATE. NO ONES GOING TO GET THROUGH HERE TONIGHT.
YOU COME FROM THE PARSONS OLD PLACE..FRANK IS A BIT SHOCKED..
YES SHOUTS JEAN..THE OLD PARSONS PLACE.
WELL SAYS THE COPPER, I SUDGEST YOU GO BACK AND STAY THERE THE NIGHT.
OK OFFICER SAYS FRANK.THANKS FOR YOUR HELP..MOST KIND.
NO PROBLEM SAYS THE OFFICER..YOU TAKE CARE NOW.
THEY TURN THE CAR ROUND AND HEAD BACK TOWARSD THE HOUSE. 
FRANK PULLS OVER AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
HE TURNS THE ENGINE OFF.
WELL HE SAYS.. WE ARE IN A PREDICAMENT.
I WAS THINKING FRANK..THERES NO WAY ANYONE CAN GET TO US UP THAT ROAD AND
THE ONLY OTHER PLACE WE KNOW OF IS WHAT THAT FFICER SAID.
THE OLD PARSONS PLACE. AFTER THAT ITS A DEAD END.
SOOO..YES SAYS FRANK ..I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING TO SAY..
GO SHE SAYS..WE STAY AT KENETHS HOUSE. 
EXACTLY..A NIGHT OF LUXERY.EH..?
BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS OLD PARSONS PLACE,..?
DONT YOU THINK WE SHOULD AT LEAST TAKE A LOOK.
WELL WHY NOT SAYS JEAN..CANT BE THAT FAR UP HERE..

SO THEY SET OFF FOR THE OLD PARSONS PLACE.

THEY HAVNT GONE FAR UP THE LANE WHEN THEY COME TO A LOCKED GATE. 
THE WINDOW WIPERS ARE WORKING FULL BELT AND BOTH OF THEM PEER OUT THROUGH THE WINDSCREEN.
THE OLD PARSONS PLACE LOOKS RUN DOWN, OVERGROWN WITH WEEDS AND COVERED IN GREEN SLIME.
IT LOOKS A BIT SCARY SAYS JEAN.
IT CERTAINLY DOES SAYS FRANK.
BUT LOOK..THERES A LIGHT FLICKEREING IN THE DOWN STAIRS WINDOW.
WHAT YOU THINK FRANK..? ASKS JEAN.
I THINK WE SHOULD KNOCK..SEE WHAT HAPPENS..?
OK SAYS JEAN ..BUT ONLY IF YOU THINK ITS SAFE..
OH IM SURE WE'LL BE SAFE LOVE..DONT WORRY..YOU
JUST WALK BEHIND ME...
OK SHE SAYS..THEY GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GO TO THE GATE.
ITS PADLOCKED..AS FRANK IS ABOUT TO TURN BACK A MAN APPEARS AT THE FRONT DOOR WITH A DOG ON A LEAD.
CAN I HELP YOU SHOUTS THE MAN..LOST ARE WE..TERRIBLE NIGHT. LET ME PUT HOWLER INDOORS 
AND I'LL LET YOU IN.
HE LOCKS THE DOG INSIDE AND COMES TO OPEN THE GATE.
HES DRESSED IN GOOD QUALITY COUNTRY WEAR.. TWEED AND THAT.
THERE WE ARE HE SAYS..COME ON..GET YOURSELVES INSIDE.
AND DONT WORRY ABOUT HOWLER..HES QUITE HARMLESS.
THEY WALK INTO THE OLD PARSONS PLACE BENDING THERE HEADS BENEATH THE 
LOW DOORWAY.. ITS A VERY OLD PROPERTY. INSIDE ITS QUITE COZY IN AN OLD
FASHOINED WAY. A BIG FIRE BURNS IN THE HEARTH,
NOW SAYS THE MAN..LET ME TAKE YOUR COATS AND YOU CAN COME BY THE FIRE,
GET WARMED UP AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT..
THEY TAKE THIER COATS OFF AND GIVE THEM TO THE MAN..
IM BRANSTON BY THE WAY. BRANDSTON PARSONS..LAST OF A LONG LINE.
NOW WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES..?
IM FRANK AND THIS IS JEAN MY WIFE..
OH LOVELY HE SAYS.A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
NOW DO COME IN AND GET SAT HERE IN FRONT OF THE FIRE.
I'LL GET SOME GLASSES AND WE'LL HAVE A SHERRY. 
THAT WILL WARM YOU UP NICELY.
OOH SAYS JEAN..I CANT DRINK SHERRY..I COME OUT IN HIVES..
ALERGIC REACTION EH..ITS NOT UNCOMMEN.HOW ABOUT A GIN THEN..?
OH THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE ..THANK YOU BRANDSTON SHE SAYS..
YES ITS AN UNSUAL NAME. MY FATHER WAS IN INDIA YOU KNOW..
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU FRANK..GIN TOO?
OHH NOT FOR ME THANKS BRANSTON , IM DRIVING SEE..
OH DEAR.. NOT TONIGHT YOUR NOT ..THAT ROAD IS CLOSED FOR THE FORSEEABLE.
WELL SAYS FRANK PERHAPS A SMALL WISKEY..?
NOT A PROBLEM SAYS THE MAN, COMING RISHT UP.
NOW JEAN..ICE AND LEMON..? AND FRANK.? SODA OR GINGER ALE.?
OHH YES PLEASE SAYS JEAN..JUST LEMON THANKS ..BE LOVELY ..THANKS.
WE NEVER HAVE ICE IN OUR DRINKS DO WE FRANK.
WE WENT TO MAJORCA A FEW YEARS AGO..
GOT TERRIBLE SPANISH TUMMY DIDNT WE FRANK.
THE REP SAID THE ICE CAUSED IT.
JUST OLD HABITS YOU KNOW..
BUT THANKS ANYWAY..
YOUR MOST VERY WELCOME MY DEAR..AND YOU FRANK..
JUST A SPLASH OF SODA..PLEASE..
NO PROBLEMO..SAYS THE MAN..HANDING THEM THE GLASSES..
THERE WE ARE..AND IM HAVING JUST A SMALL BRANDY,
MAINLY MEDICINAL AT MY AGE..
NOW TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT ..CAME UP HERE TO CALL ON KENNY DID YOU.?
FRANK AND JEAN LOOK AT EACH OTHER..
OHH YES SAID FRANK.. CALLED BUT NO ONE IN..
NO SAYS THE MAN..IVE NOT SEEN THEM ABOUT FOR A FEW WEEKS NOW.
BUT THEY HAVE A PLACE IN THE BAHAMAS YOU KNOW..
THEY QUITE OFTEN JUST JET OFF. THEY INVITED ME ONCE..BUT IM NOT KEEN ON TOO
MUCH SUNSHINE AND FOREIGN FOOD.
ANY WAY..STRANGE THING..NORMALLY THEY LET ME KNOW WHEN THERE GOING.
I HAVE A KEY YOU SEE. KEEP AN EYE ON THE PLACE FOR THEM.
SUDDENLY HOWLER THE LABRADOUR STARTS BARKING..
OH STOP IT HOWLER..SHOUTS THE MAN..
HES OLD YOU KNOW..HAS STRANGE DREAMS AND WAKES UP BARKING..
BARKING MAD IF YOU ASK ME,,
NOW WHERE WAS I ..?
AH YES..KENNY AND JUDITH..
VERY LOVELY COUPLE.. SPENT A FORTUNE RENEVATING THAT PLACE.
SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT..
A RUN DOWN OLD RUIN IT WAS BUT FAIR PLAY TO KENNY.
MADE THE PLACE A PALACE NOW..
CERTAINLY HAS SAYS JEAN..
SO DO TELL..ARE YOU BUSINESS FRINDS ..?
FRANK SAYS YES..YOU COULD SAY THAT..
OH KENNY..FINGERS IN LOTS OF PIES. DONT WORRY
I WONT PRY ANY FURTHER, NO NAMES NO PACK DRILL..I SAY..
OH SAYS FRANK ..EX MILITARY..
THE MAN SAYS SEVENTH ROYAL ARTILLARY.. CAPTAIN WAS THE BEST I COULD DO.
GREAT DAYS THOUGH..MISS THE COMARADERY, THE BANTER..THE SPIRIT..
WHAT ABOUT YOU FRANK.. ANY ARMY..?
YES I DID BUT ONLY THREE YEARS..REMI..TANK REGIMENT..
DID A STINT IN THE GULF.
DAMN WASTE OF TIME THAT WAS SAYS THE MAN..
HE LEANS FORWARD.. I WASNT THERE MYSELF BUT I HEARD THEY EAT CAMMELS EYES..
JEAN WRETCHES..OH EXCUSE ME SHE SAYS.
OOH THATS ALLRIGHT JEAN ..I DO APPOLOGISE..TOO FLORID A DESCRIPTION.

THE MAN CONTINUES..YESS.. SEEN A LOT OF THE WORLD THANKS TO THE ARMY.
NOT ALL OF GOOD I'LL GRANT YOU BUT DAMN FINE BACKBONE EXPERIENCE FOR LIFE.
THATS WHAT YOUNGSTERS TODAY ARE SHORT OF..DICIPLIN.. RULES ..
JEAN SAYS OHH DONT GET FRANK STARTED ON THAT ONE..
HES GOT VERY SIMILAR OPPINIONS. HAVNT YOU FRANK..
FRANK JUST NODS..WELL SAYS THE MAN..
I WILL NOT LET OUR SOIREE BE MARRED BY THE WASTE OF TIME THAT IS POLOTICS..
NO INDEED,,,NOW JEAN,,WHAT ABOUT YOU..?
WHAT ABOUT ME SAYS JEAN..?
WELL SAYS BRANSTON..YOU KNOW WORK..CARREER ..HOBIES..?
OOH SAYS JEAN..I SEE ..WELL I WORKED AT PILKINGTONS FOR TWELVE YEARS..
OOOH SAYS THE MAN..THE GLASS PEOPLE..?
THATS RIGHT SAYS JEAN..BUT I WAS IN THE OFFICE..ACCOUNTS MAINLY..
OH AND LIKE TO DO CROCHET..
OOH SAYS THE MAN..HOW WONDERFUL..LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
HE GETS UP AND GOES TO A SIDE ROOM..
HE RETURNS WITH A BEAUTIFUL BLANKET..
LOOK AT THAT JEAN..
OOH ITS BEAUTIFUL SAYS JEAN..A LOT OF WORK THERE..
ISNT IT FRANK SHE SAYS ..ISNT IT LOVELY..?
FRANK JUST NODS..
NOW SAYS THE MAN..WHILE YOUR APPRECIATING MY LATE WIFES WORK,
LET ME RE CHARGE THE GLASSES..
OOH SAYS JEAN ARE YOU SURE..?
I MOST DEFINATLY AM HE SAYS..
HE RE FILLS THE GLASSES THEN SAYS..NOW.
I SHALL GO TO THE KITCHEN AND PREPARE US A FEW NIBBLES..
FRANK SAYS OHH NO , PLEASE , YOUVE BEEN MOST KIND. 
I INSIST SAYS THE MAN..I GET VERY FEW CHANCES THESE DAYS TO SHOW
OFF MY CULINARY SKILL..SO TONIGHT IS ONE OF THEM..
NOW I'LL GO AND PREPARE SOMETHING AND YOU TWO JUST RELAX HERE.
HE WALKS OFF TO THE KITCHEN..
JEAN LOOKS AT FRANK..THEN WISPERS..WHAT DO WE DO FRANK..?
FRANK SAYS LETS JUST GO ALONG WITH THINGS..THERES NO HARM DONE.
OK SAYS JEAN..DO YOU THINK I SHOULD SEE IF HE NEEDS ANY HELP..?
YES LOVE WHY NOT..!!!
JEAN GETS UP AND GOES TO THE KITCHEN DOOR..SOMETHING IS FRYING..
CAN I HELP AT ALL ASKS JEAN..
OH SPLENDID JEAN YES..PLEASE DO COME IN..IM MAKING COTTAGE PIE..
I'M JUST FRYING OFF THE MINCE WITH ONIONS..AND JUST A HINT OF GARLIC.
THE WAY MY MOTHER ALWAYS DID..
NOW SAYS THE MAN..YOU PUT THIS PINNY ON.
HERES THE CAROTS.. YOU CAN PEEL THOSE FOR ME..
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE TO DO WHEN COOKING..HE GETS TWO GLASSES..
A NICE GLASS OF RED..GETS THE JUICES FLOWING.. 
THE MAN GOES BACK INTO THE LOUNGE..
IM SORRY FRANK OLD MAN BUT NO TV.. CANT STAND IT..
ALL THIS OHH LOOK IM A DANCER..IM A CHEF..I WATCH TV.. ALL GARBAGE..
I HAD A TV A WHILE BACK .I ONLY WATCHED THE NEWS ..THAT WAS IT..THEN A BLOKE CAME..
FROM TV LICENCE..I GOT THE GUN OUT..HAHAHA..
CAN YOU BELIVE IT FRANK ..IN THIS DAY AND AGE..
WE FAUGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY..GOD BLESS OUR QUEEN ..
AND THESE ..THESE ..OH EXCUSE MY FRENCH FRANK..
JOBSWORTHS THE LOT OF THEM.
FRANK SAYS ..I WAS JUST LOOKING AT THIS MAGAZINE...
OH YES..VERY INTERESTING SAYS THE MAN..
AMAZING HOW MUCH SOME OF THEM SELL FOR.
DO YOU COLLECT YOURSELF FRANK..?
I HAVE A FEW SAYS FRANK BUT NOTHING SPECTACULAR.
FOUND ONES MAINLY, WITH THE OLD METAL DETECTOR..
OOH SPLENDID,YOUR A DETECTORIST.?
YES, I BELIVE THATS WHAT THEY CALL THEM NOW.
YES SAID FRANK. THE MAN SAYS..
WELL 'COINS TODAY' MAGAZINE IS A WEALTH OF INFORMATION.
IVE BEEN COLLECTING FOR YEARS BUT THEN I BUY MINE.
MAINLY AT SPECIALIST AUCTIONS.
I KEEP THEM OVER THERE IN A BINDER.
I'LL SHOW YOU AFTER IVE POPPED THE COTTAGE PIE IN..
HE GOES BACK INTO THE KITCHEN.
AND HOW ARE WE DOING IN HERE JEAN.
OH I HOPE YOU DONT MIND.IVE MASHED THE POTATOES.
THE MAN SAYS ..A LITTLE BUTTER AND MILK I HOPE..?
OH YES SAID JEAN.
RIGHT THEN..I THINK WE CAN PUT IT INTO THIS DISH THEN INTO THE OVEN.

 NOW FRANK..SAYS BRANDSTON,THE PIE IS IN THE OVEN..
 HERE WE ARE ..MIND IF I..?
HE HOLDS A LARGE FOULDER AND GESTURES TO SIT BETWEEN THEM ON THE COUCH.
THERE WE ARE ..NOW YOU CAN BOTH SEE..
NOW..PAGE ONE..THIS GOES BACK TO MY FIRST DAYS OF COIN COLLECTING.
THERES A PICTURE OF BRANSTON AT THE FIRST PAGE.
IS THAT YOU ASKS JEAN.
MOST CERTAINLY IS..
A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN SAYS JEAN.
WHY THANK YOU JEAN. THATS NOT LONG AFTER MY RETURN FROM INDIA.
FAUGHT WITH KASHWANIS YOU KNOW..UP THE KYBER AND ALL THAT.
FIERCE FIGHTERS THEY WERE ..FEARLESS IN BATTLE.
NOW THE FIST COIN YOU SEE IS A 1754 GOLD CROWN ..
AND AS YOU CAN SEE, IN EXCELENT CONDITION.
I PAID £12 FOR IT IN 1969.
NOW ITS WORTH ABOUT SIX THOUSAND ..ROUGHLY.
GOOD GOD SAYS FRANK..A GOOD RETURN..
OH DANDY SAYS BRANDSTON..FABULOUS INVESTMENT COINS.
AND THERE ..ON THE SAME PAGE..TWO GOLD SOVERIGNS. 1672 AND 1650.
YOU SEE IN THOSE DAYS..WHEN THEY SAID GOLD THEY MEANT IT.
SOLID GOLD..NOT LIKE TODAY..THEY ADD ALL KINDS OF IMPURITIES.
VALUE TODAY..AGAIN IN THE THOUSANDS.
NOW ..I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO HERE TO LOOK AT THE REST.
ANY QUESTIONS JUST ASK.I'LL RECHARGS THE GLASSES AND TAKE HOWLER FOR A QUICK 
VISIT TO THE DOG KHAZI..
BRANDSTON RE FILLS THE GLASSES AND GOES OUT THE BACK DOOR WITH THE DOG.
INCREDIBLE SAYS JEAN...ALL THAT MONEY HERE. 
JUST LYING AROUND.I'D HAVE THIS LOT IN THE SAFE.
HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVE EH..?

FRANK AND JEAN ARE IN AWE OF THE COIN COLLECTION.
THEN ON ABOUT PAGE TWELVE..THERE IT IS.
THE SAME GOLD DABLOON THAT THEY DISCOVERED IN THE JEWELRY BOX.

BRANSTON COMES IN WITH DOG..HE RUBS IT DOWN WITH AN OLD TOWEL.
STILL CATS AND DOGS OUT THERE.
HE TAKES OFF THE WAX JACKET..
I MEANT TO ASK HE SAYS FROM THE DOORWAY.
DID YOU SEE ANYTHING OF MALCOMB. KENS GARDENER..?
FRANK AND JEAN LOOK AT EACH OTHER..
FRANK SAYS ERR,, NO..WE DIDNT.
YOU DO KNOW HIM ASKS BRANSTON..?
WE DID MEET HIM LAST TIME BUT ONLY BRIEFLY.SAYS JEAN.
I'M NOT KEEN ON THE CHAP TRUTH BE TOLD.
SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.EYES EYES VERY CLOSE TOGETHER, DID YOU NOTICE THAT..?
SIGN OF INTERBREEDING. HE IS A GOOD GARDNER OF COUSRE.LOCAL LAD.
JUST I DONT KNOW..SOMETHING ODD ABOUT THE FELLA. JUST A GUT FEELING.
I WAS MOSTLY RIGHT IN INDIA. 
COULD SPOT A BAD EN A MILE OFF..
OOOH I SEE YOUR ADMIRING THE DABLOON..?
YES SAYS JEAN..REAL HISTORY THERE..
OH YES SAYS BRANDSTON.. NOW FUNNY THING YOU SHOULD STOP ON THAT ONE..
YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THAT..DIDNT BUY IT..?
GO ON SAYS FRANK...KENNY..BAUGHT IT ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
I WAS GOBSMACKED ..HE KNEW I WAS AN AVID COLLECTOR YOU SEE.
HE CERTAINLY SPOILT ME THAT DAY..
ITS PROBABLY MY FINEST IN THE COLLECTION ..AND THE MOST VALUABLE.
SUCH A KIND MAN OUR KENNY.AND JUDITH OF COURSE.
DO YOU KNOW..I WAS ONCE STUCK. COULDNT START THE OLD LAND ROVER.
COURSE SHES AN OLD GIRL..1952..NEVER MISSED A BEAT..
BUT THAT DAY..WOULD SHE FIRE UP..NOT A CAT IN HELLS CHANCE.
HE TAKES A SIP OF BRANDY.
ANYWAY..KENNY COMES WALKING PAST..JUST OUT FOR A STROLL.
I HAD THE LID UP, IM COVERED IN GREASE AND OIL..
TRIED ALL SORTS..SOOOO
KENNY TAKES A LOOK..LEAVE THIS TO ME HE SAYS..GETS HIS PHONE OUT.
CALLS DERECK..LOACAL MECHANIC..
IVE NEVER BOTHERED WITH THIS RAC BUISNESS YOU SEE..
ANYWAY..LONG STORY SHORT..DERICK ARIVES, TAKES A GANDER..
OH HE SAYS ..SATRTER MOTERS BUGGERED..GIVE ME AN HOUR..
SO HE WHIPS IT OUT AND CLEARS OFF..
THEN , JUST ABOUT AN HOUR LATER HES BACK..ALL FIXED HA SAYS,
PUTS IT BACK IN..STARTS FIRST TURN..
I GO TO GET MY WALLET..DIDNT EXPECT IT FOR FREE YOU KNOW..
BUT KENNY SAYS NO BRANSTON..THIS ONES ON ME..
I MEAN THATS WHAT YOU CALL A TRUE NEIGHBOUR.
SO RUDDY KIND YOU KNOW.
HE TAKES ANOTHER SWIG OF BRANDY..ITS CLEAR HE'S GETTING A LITTLE TIPSY..
THING IS YOU SEE, KENNY KNEW MY PLIGHT.
THINGS HADNT GONE THAT WELL AFTER MARGO PASSED.
SHE WAS 'NON LIBEROS' YOU SEE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
ITS LATIN JEAN MY DEAR, IT MEANS COULDNT HAVE CHILDREN.
OH IM SO SORRY SAYS JEAN..
BRANDSTON CONTINUES.. 
LOOKING BACK I THINK I WAS JUST VERY DEPRESSED.
COULDNT CONCETRATE..LET THE BUISNESS GO TO RACK AND RUIN..
YESSS...TERIBLE THING DEPRESSION.COURSE I HAD TO DECLARE BANKRUPCY.
TERRIBLE TIME..NEARLY LOST THIS PLACE.
YOU SEE KENNY BLESS HIS COTTON UNDERPANTS..HE GOT HIS ACCOUNTANT TO HELP.
VERY CLEVER BLOKE ..MILES COOPER..YOU MET HIM..?
ERM..NO SAYS FRANK..
SMASHING BLOKE. KNEW ALL THE CLEVER WAYS OF HANGING ON TO THINGS.
OFF SHORE ACCOUNTS ..TRUST FUNDS..THAT SORT OF THING.
ANYWAY..LONG STORY SHORT, THEY COULDNT TAKE THE HOUSE OR LAND
BECAUSE IT WASNT MINE..VERY CLEVER..NO..I OWE KENNY EVERYTHING.
IT DOES SOUND LIKE HE WAS A REALLY LOVELY MAN..
WAS..? ASKS BRANSTON..?
I MEAN IS ..SORRY SAYS JEAN.
FRANK SCOWLS AT JEAN.
SHALL I GO AND CHECK ON THE COTTAGE PIE BRANSTON..?
OH WOULD YOU MY DEAR..YOU ARE A TREASURE. IM SURE YOU KNOW THAT FRANK.
YOUR JEAN IS A TREASURE..
FRANK ASKS BRANDSTON.... IF YOU DONT MIND ME ASKING BRANDSTON.?.
FIRE AWAY FRANK..I KNOW IM BEING A BIT CHEEKY BUT..
WELL THIS COIN HERE...THE DABLOON SAYS BRANDSTON,,?
YES SAYS FRANK..WHAT WOULD THAT BE WORTH TODAY..?
OOH HE SAYS..NOT HAD EM VALUED FOR A GOOD FEW YEARS BUT AT A GUESS,
WELL FIVE YEARS AGO THEY GAVE IT ABOUT 12K..
YOU SEE THATS WHAT I MEAN ABOUT OUR FRIEND KENNY..
WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT WOULD BESTOW SUCH A VALAUBLE GIFT.
HE RAISES HIS GLASS..HERES TO GOOD OLD KENNY..
FRANK WANTS TO SAY REST HIS SOUL..BUT SAYS YES..
HERES TO KENNY.

JEAN SHOUTS FROM THE KITCHEN DOOR..
COTTAGE PIES READY BRANDSTON.
HE JUMPS UP, OH MARVELOUS..THANK YOU JEAN.
NOW FRANK..LET ME TOP YOU UP AND ILL SET THE TABLE IN THE KITCHEN.

BRANDSTON GOES TO THE KITCHEN..WE CAN HERE KNIVES AND FORKES AND PLATES
BEING MOVED. BRANDSTON PUTS THE PLATES IN THE BOTTOM SHELF OF THE AGA.
THEN HE DRINKS SOME MORE RED WINE AND STARTS SINGING..
HES OPERATIC..SINGING IN ITALIAN..
JEAN SITS NEXT TO FRANK..HE POINTS TO THE DABLOON IN THE BINDER.
HE WISPERS TO JEAN..TWELVE GRAND AT LEAST HE SAYS..
WEVE GOT AT LEAST TEN OF THEM..I MEAN WE DIDNT COUNT YET.
YES SAYS JEAN, AND THERES ALL THOSE JEWELS.

BRANDSTON APPERS AT THE DOORWAY.
DINNER IS SERVED. GET IT WHILE ITS HOT.
THE KITCHEN TABLE IS OAK.
STEAMING IN THE CENTER OF THE TABLE IS THE COTTAGE PIE.
NOW THERES RED CABBAGE, BEETROOT AND GHURKINS..
IF THERES ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE JUST ASK.
OH AND IVE CUT SOME NICE CRUSTY BREAD..AND THERES BUTTER IN THE DISH.
DO YOU HAVE ANY BROWN..? ASKS JEAN.?
BRANSTON IS LOST..'BROWN'..HE SAYS..
YOU SAYS JEAN..
OOOH WAIT SILL ME ..OF COUSRE..YOU MEAN THE LEE AND PERINS.?
JEAN MEANT BROWN hp..
BRANDSTON TAKES A CORKSCREW TO A BOTTLE OF RED..
HE SAYS..I POPPED DOWN THE CELLAR..NOW THIS IS THE WORK OF PIERRE LURTON.
ONE OF FINEST GROWERS AND WINE MAKERS OF THE BORDEAUX REGION.
IT WILL GO LOVELY WITH THIS..
HE POURS IN INTO THEIR GLASSES.
THEN HE RAISES HIS GLASS TO THEM AND SAYS BON APPETIT AND HERES TO GOOD COMPANY.

FRANK AND JEAN SAY GOOD HEALTH..CHEERS.
BRANDSTON TAKES A HUGE GULP..OH YESS HE SAYS..
WHAT YOU THINK FRANK.?
FRANK TAKES A SIP..OHH YES HE SAID..VERY NICE..
JEAN..? ASKS BRANDSTON..?
LOVELY SHE SAYS. THANK YOU.
NOW ..WE'LL ENJOY THIS MEAL THEN I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

THEY ENJOY THE COTTAGE PIE AND WINE.
THEN THEY RETIRE TO THE LOUNGE..
THAT WAS DELICIOUS SAYS JEAN..IT CERTAINLY WAS SAYS FRANK.

ITS JUST THE SORT OF COMFORT FOOD FOR A FILTHY NIGHT LIKE THIS SAYS BRANDSTON.

ITS NOW NEARLY 11 PM.
SUDDENLY THERES A RAP AT THE FRONT DOOR.
MY WORD SAYS BRANDSTON..WHO CAN THAT BE.
HOWLER STARTS BARKING AT THE DOOR.
COME AWAY BOY SHOUTS BRANDSTON.
HE OPENS THE FRONT DOOR..ITS A POLICEMAN.
OOH HELLOO SAYS BRANDSTON..COME IN PLEASE..WHAT A HORRID NIGHT.
I'M JUST CHECKING YOUR ALL OK ..THERES BAD FLOODING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LANE
AND THE WATER IS STILL RISING. BUT I THINK YOUR SAFE HERE..SLIGHTLY HIGHER GROUND.
BRANDSTON TURNS TO FRANK AND JEAN..
THIS IS MICHEAL HE SAYS..OUR LOCAL HERO..
MICHEAL THESE ARE MY GUESTS..TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT OF COURSE.
JEAN AND FRANK..
PLEASED TO MEET YOU..AGAIN..SAW YOU EARLER WHEN I TURNED YOU BACK..
YES SAID FRANK..THANK YOU. 
WILL YOU HAVE A SNIFTER MICHEAL..JUST A SMALL ONE..?
NO THANKS BRANDSTON..I BEST GET BACK TO THE ROAD BLOCK.
THERE ARE STILL IDIOTS TRYING TO DRIVE THROUGH DEEP WATER.
THEY NEVER LEARN..
I CALLED AT THE BAGSHAW PLACE..NO LIGHTS ON..
YES SAYS BRANDSTON..WE THINK THEY'VE JETTED OFF AGAIN.
I CHECKED AROUND THE PLACE SAYS MICHEAL.
NOTHING OUT OF ORDER.
OH GOOD SAYS BRANDSTON..WELL I HAVE A KEY AS YOU KNOW MICHEAL SO
I'LL POP UP THERE TOMORROW. 
VERY GOOD SAYS MICHEAL..I'LL LET YOU FOLKS ALONE. ENJOY YOUR EVENING.
OH HE SAYS ..MEANT TO SAY..HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING OF MALCOMB..?
NOO WE HAVNT SAYS BRANDSTON..WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT EARLIER.
MICHEAL SAYS..ITS JUST WE HAD A CALL FROM HIS LAND LADY..SAYS SHE 
HASNT SEEN HIM FOR A FEW WEEKS.
WELL ,IM SURE HE'LL TURN UP..
GOODNIGHT NOW.
GOODNIGHT MICHEAL.

THEN MICHEAL LEAVES.

RIGHT SAYS BRANDSTON..LET ME SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.
FOLLOW ME..
THEY FOLLOW HIM TO THE STAIRS AND HOLDING ON TIGHT TO THE HANDRAIL, 
BRANDSTON LEADS THE WAY. 
AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS THEY COME TO A DOOR AND BRANDSTON OPEN IT.
INSIDE IS A VERY OLD FASHIONED DECOR AND FITTINGS.
THERES A DOUBLE BED AND A GAS FIRE IS ON HEATING THE ROOM.
I PUT THE FIRE ON TO TAKE THE CHILL OFF HE SAYS.
BUT THE BED IS ALL MADE UP FRESH AND ALTHOUGH ITS BEEN MANY YEARS SINCE IT WAS USED,
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND IT COMFORTABLE. THERES A STRING ABOVE THE BED.
PULL THAT TO TURN THE LIGHT OFF.
I'M AFFRAID THE ONLY USABLE BATHROOM IS ON THE GROUND FLOOR.
OH COULD I PLEASE..ASKS JEAN..
OF COURSE MY DEAR..YOUR ALL SET NOW..I'M NOT SENDING YOU TO BED JUST YET.
HE LAUGHS.
THEY GO BACK DOWN STAIRS. 
FRANK SAYS..THAT HANDRAIL ISNT SAFE BRANDSTON..
IN THE MORNING I'LL SORT IT OUT FOR YOU..
HOW VERY KIND FRANK..I'V BEEN MEANING TO GET ROUND TO IT.
NO WORRIES SAYS FRANK..I'M QUITE GOOD AT DIY..
A GREAT SKILL SAYS BRANDSTON. I WAS NEVER THAT ACTIVE ON THAT FRONT TO BE HONEST.
MORE OF A COUNTRY PURSUITS KIND OF FELLA IF YOU GET ME..
 
THEY CHAT BY THE FIRE AND LISTEN TO BRANDSTONS TALES OF INDIA..
THEN BRANDSTON, AFTER ONE LAST BRANDY SAYS..RIGHT ..SACK TIME..
IN THE MORNING WE SHALL HAVE THE FULL ENGLISH...
THANK YOU BOTH FOR A VERY ENTERTAINING EVENING.
FRANK AND JEAN SAY THANK YOU TOO FOR ALL YOUR KINDNESS BRANDSTON.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A VERY COLD AND MISEABLE NIGHT SLEEPING IN THAT CAR.
IT MOST CERTAINLY WOULD..NOW OFF YOU GO AND GET WARM UNDER THAT QUILT.
GOODNIGHT AND SEE YOU AT 6AM FOR COFFEE..
FRANK AND JEAN MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE BEDROOM.
INSIDE ALTHOUGH ITS NOT COLD, THERE IS A STRONG SMELL OF DAMP.
LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON SAYS FRANK..
ALL OF THEM ASKS JEAN..?
YES SAYS FRANK..IF THIS BEDS DAMP THERES LESS CHANCE OF CATCHING COLD.
OK SAYS JEAN..AND SO FULLY CLOTHED..THEY GET INTO THE BED.
READY SAYS FRANK..? READY SAYS JEAN. FRANK PULLS ON THE CORD ABOVE THE BED.
THE LIGHTS GO OUT BUT A FINE DUSTING OF PLASTER FALLS ONTO THEM.
EVENTUALLY THEY FALL ASLEEP.

NEXT MORNING..

THE ALARM ON JEANS NEW PHONE WAKES THEM UP JUST BEFOR SIX..
JEAN SAYS OOH FRANK ..IT WORKS..THE ALARM I MEAN..
I SHOULD HOPE SO LOVE THE MONEY THAT COST.
THEY GET OUT OF BED AND AT THE MOMENT THERES A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
GOOD MORNING..!!!
ONLY ME SHOUTS BRANDSTON..COME IN SAYS FRANK..BRANDSTON ENTERS.
OH GOOD HE SAYS ..YOUR DRESSED ALLREADY..EXCELENT..
WELL THE COFFEE IS HOT SO COME ON DOWN.
BREAKFAST AT SEVEN..

FRANK SAYS ..LETS GO DOWN AND WASH UP..
THEY MAKE THE BED. FRANK LOOKS UP THE THE LIGHT CHORD FITTING..ITS HANGING OFF.
BUT COME HERE BY THE WINDOW JEAN..LOOK AT THAT VIEW..
WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE TO WAKE UP TO THAT EVERY MORNING.
ITS BEAUTIFUL FRANKS.JUST FIELDS AND TREES..NOT A HOUSE IN SIGHT.

IN THE KITCHEN BRANDSTON IS POURING THE COFFEE..HE TURNS TO JEAN,
MILK AND SUGAR THERE IF YOU PARTAKE..
FRANK SAYS ..THIS COFFEE SMELLS WONDERFUL.
FRESHLY GROUND AND PERCKED...ONLY WAY I CAN DRINK IT.
COURSE IN INDIA WAS TEA ALL DAY..TEA WALLA YOU KNOW.
JEAN SAYS THE VIEW ACROSS THE FIELDS IS BEAUTIFUL BRANDSTON.
YES HE SAYS..ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS WE BAUGHT THE PLACE.
FRANK SAYS...DO YOU HAVE ANY TOOLS SOMEWHERE..?
TOOLS..TOOLS? SAYS BRANDSTON..MY GOD THERES A GARAGE FULL OUT THERE.
HELP YOURSELF..HERES THE KEY. MIGHT HAVE TO FIDDLE A BIT.
BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WAS IN THERE.
FRANK GOES OUTSIDE AND FINDS THE GARAGE.
AS INSTRUCTED HE FIDDLES WITH THE KEY AND MANAGES TO GET IN.HE RAISES THE
GARAGE DOOR AND WHAT A SITE..BENCHES EITHER SIDE OF THE GARAGE
AND ABOVE THEM, EVERY TYPE OF TOOL YOU CAN THINK OF.
BUT BETTER THAN THAT.PARKED BETWEEN THE BENCHES IN NEAR PERFECT
CONDITION..A CAR..NOT JUST ANY CAR.A VINTAGE CAR OF SOME TYPE..
FRANK LOOKS AT THE BADGE..ITS A JAG..AT A GUESS..1950S..
BUT FRANK WAS NO CAR EXPERT. 
IT WAS SOO NICE. HE OPENED THE DOOR.HE COULD SMELL THE CAR.
HE KNEW THAT IN ITS DAY, THIS WAS TOP OF THE RANGE.
HE WENT BACK INTO THE HOUSE.IM JUST TAKING A QUICK LOOK AT THAT HANDRAIL BRANDSTON.
OK HE SHOUTS..BREAKFAST IN HALF AN HOUR.
WILL DO SHOUTS FRANK.
HE TAKES A LOOK AT THE HANDRAIL ON THE STAIRS.
SEVERAL SCREWS HAVE COME LOOSE ON THE BRACKETS THAT HOLD IT TO THE WALL..
HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO.
HE GOES BACK TO THE GARAGE AND COMES BACK WITH SCREWDRIVER DRILL AND RAWPLUGS.
IN NO TIME FRANK HAS THE HANDRAIL BACK FIRMLY IN PLACE.
HE TAKES THE TOOLS BACK TO THE GARAGE.LOCKS THE DOOR THEN COMES BACK INTO THE KITCHEN.
OK BRANDSTON..ALL FIXED..
OH GOOD MAN HE SAYS..WHAT DO I OWE YOU..?
OOH NOTHING AT ALL SAYS FRANK.YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND TO US.
WELL..ASKS BRANDSTON..WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE OLD GIRL..EH..?
SHES A REAL BEAUTY SAYS FRANK..
WHAT IS IT ASKS JEAN..ITS A CAR SAYS FRANK..BUT NOT JUST ANY CAR..
NO, SAYS BRANDSTON..ITS A UNIQUE CAR..
ITS A 1949 JAGUAR MARK V SALOON 3.5 LITRE.
OOH SAYS JEAN..HOW NICE..MAY I LOOK.?
JEAN..AFTER BREAKFAST..NOT ONLY CAN YOU LOOK BUT WE SHALL GO FOR A SHORT RIDE.
JUST UP THE LANE.
CANT GO FAR IF THE ROADS STILL FLOODED.
NOW FRANKS THE GREAT HANDY MAN..HOW MANY EGGS..ONE OR TWO.?.
TWO PLEASE SAYS FRANK..
IVE DONE THE LOT SAYS BRANDSTON..BACON SAUSAGE TOATOES MUSHROOMS
AND HASH BROWNS..JEAN IS IN CHARGE OF TOAST..
REALY SMELLS GOOD SAYS FRANK..
YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING FRANK..SAYS BRANDSTON..AN ARMY MARCHES ON ITS STOMACH.
ABSOLUTLY SAYS FRANK..THEN THEY SIT DOWN TO THIS HEARTY BREAKFAST.

YOU SEE SAYS BRANDSTON..AFTER THE DEMISE AS I CALL IT.
 MARGO PASSING AWAY..THE BUSINESS FAILING..WELL THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE
GOT NEGELCTED. AND THE PROBLEM WAS THAT EVEN IF I WAS ABLE TO CARRY 
OUT THE WORK MY HEALTH WOULD'T LET ME..CANT GO UP LADDERS..VIRTIGO.
AND YOU KNOW, PRETTY USELESS AT THE OLD DIY..NO..I ADMIRE YOU FRANK.
NOW ANOTHER SAUSAGE ANYONE..
OOH NOT FOR ME THANKS IM STUFFED SAYS JEAN.
NOR ME THANKS BRANDSTON..ABSOLUTLY FULL..IT WAS PERFECT.
WELL SAYS BRANDSTON..WE'LL LEAVE THE DISHES TILL LATER.
OH I CAN DO THOSE .SAYS JEAN.
BUT FIRST SAYS BRANDSTON..LETS HAVE A LITTLE TRIP AROND THE HALL.
IM SURE DESPITE THE CONDITION.. YOU'LL FIND IT VERY INTERESTING.
FOLLOW ME SAYS BRANDSTON..THEY GO ALONG A HALLWAY ON THE GROUND FLOOR.
ROOM AFTER ROOM.THREE BATHROOMS.THEN A GREAT BALLROOM. 
GOOD GRIEF.SAID FRANK.I THOUGHT THE PLACE CONSISTED OF JUST THOSE FEW ROOMS.
OH HEAVENS NO SAYS BRANDSTON..15 BEDROOMS IN ALL..SIX BATHROOMS AND THIS..
THE FLOOR IS ALMOST PERFECT.BUT LOOK..WATER HAS STARTED TO GET IN FROM THE ROOF.
IT WONT BE LONG UNTILL THIS DANCE FLOOR IS COMPLETELY RUINED.
SUCH A SHAME.IN THE DAY BACK THEN..MARGO AND I WOULD PUT MUSIC 
ON THE GRAMOPHONE AND DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY..
HOW LOVELY SAID JEAN..WHAT LOVELY MEMORIES.
YES SAID BRANDSTON A LITTLE SAD.
RIGHT HE SAYS..ENOUGH OF THIS MAUDLING TALK..
LETS GO GET THE OLD GIRL OUT OF THE GARAGE..AND HAVE SOME FUN..

FRANK OPENS THE GARAGE DOOR..JEANS MOUTH DROPS.
OH MY WORD SHE SAYS..ITS..ITS..ITS SOO BEUTIFUL.
I'M GLAD YOU THINK SO..NOW I'LL START HER UP AND DRIVE HER OUT OF THE GARAGE..
HE GETS IN ..IT STARTS FIRST TIME..HE SLOWLY DIVES IT OUT 
ONTO THE GRAVEL PATH..HE GETS OUT AND HANDS FRANK THE KEYS.
BRANDSTON SITS IN THE BACK WITH JEAN.
YOU REALY WANT ME TO DRIVE..
OF COURSE OLD MAN ..COME ON..OFF WE GO..
FRANK STARTS HER UP. SELECTS FIRST GEAR AND GENTLY LETS HIS FOOT OFF THE CLUTCH.
HE RELEASES THE HAND BREAK AND OFF THEY GO..
THIS IS SO EXCITING SAYS JEAN.
BRANDSTON IS GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR.GO ON FRANK SAYS BRANDSTON..GET YOUR FOOT DOWN.
FEEL THAT BEAST OF AN ENGINE..
THE RIDE IS SO SMOOTH.FRANK CANT BELIVE HOW SOFT THE SUSPENTION IS.
AND THE GEARS..SO SMOOTH. HES IN LOVE.
ITS SHEER LUXERY SAYS JEAN..YES SAYS BRANDSTON..
ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY.
I KNOW SAYS BRANDSTON..WE'LL CALL AT KENS PLACE..IVE GOT THE KEY.
ITS JUST A LITTLE FURTHER.
WHAT AM I SAYING..YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS..SILLY ME JEAN.
JEAN CHUCKLES.
FRANK PULLS ONTO THE WINDING PATH THAT LEADS TO THE HOUSE.
JUST HERE FANK..THATS PERFECT. 
BRANDSTON GOES OVER THE THE FRONT DOOR.ITS A BIG OLD OAK DOOR.
THE KEY IS HUGE. HE OPENS THE DOOR.AND GOES IMEDIETLY TO A BOX IN THE WALL.
HE TYPES IN NUMBERS.ITS AN ALARM.
DONT WANT THAT GOING OFF DO WE.

NOW COME ON IN..HOW LONG IS IT SINCE YOU WERE LAST HERE..
JEAN LOOKS AT FRANK..HE LOOKS AT HER..OOH SAYS FRANK..I THINK ABOUT SIX MONTHS.
YEH SAYS JEAN MUST BE ABOUT SIX MONTHS..
SO YOU WON'T HAVE SEEN THE NEW BITS THEN..
ERR NO SAYS FRANK..
NEW BITS ASKS JEAN..YESS.. LARGER CONSERVATORY..NEW KITCHEN..
AND OUT SIDE ..MY WORD ..LOTS OF WORK FOR MALCOMB..
COME ON THROUGH ILL SHOW YOU.
THEY MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE CONSERVATORY.
OVER THERE  THERE'S A DRINKS TROLLY HELP YOURSELVES..ILL HAVE A BRANDY.
ILL JUST POP UP STAIRS AND CHECK UP THERE.
BRANDSTON GOES UP STAIRS TO THE OFFICE.
HE HAS A LOOK ROUND THEN NOTICES SOMETHING..
HE COMES BACK DOWN.FRANK PASSES HIM THE BRANDY.
A STRANGE THING SAYS BRANDSTON..WHATS THAT ASKS FRANK.?.
WELL IN KENS OFFICE THERES A FILING CABINET..ONE OF THE DRAWERS WAS OPEN.
NOT LIKE OUR KEN THATS NOT..HES METICULOSLY TIDY AS YOU KNOW.
BIT OF WHATS IT SYNDROME I THINK ..CONSTANTLY WASHING HIS HAND..
YOU KNOW ..WHAT THEY CALL IT..HANG ON ..LIKE ACDC..NOT THAT..
JEAN SAYS OCD..THATS THE ONE..MATICULOUS..
STRANGE THAT DRAWER WAS OPEN ..ISNT IT..
I GUESS SO SAYS FRANK.
JEAN LOOKS AT FRANK NERVOUSLY.
ANYWAY..LETS GO TO THE KITCHEN..HE USUALLY LEAVES ME NOTES THERE.
THEY GO TO THE KITCHEN.
BRANDSTON OPENS A DRAWER OF TEA TOWELS..HE LOOKS UNDERNEATH.
THERES A NOTE PAD WITH A MESSAGE WRITTEN..
HE READS IT ALOUD..

MY DEAR BRANDSTON, BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I WILL BE FAR AWAY.
IM NOT IN THE BAHAMAS OR DAVOS..
JUDITH AND I NEEDED A BREAK. I CANT TELL YOU WHERE WEVE GONE BUT WE MAY BE SOME TIME.
I'M SURE YOU'L UNDERSTAND.MALCOMB IS HERE WITH US TOO.
IVE LEFT CASH IN THE USUAL PLACE.THERES MORE THAN ENOUGH.
PLEASE KEEP THE HOUSEHOLD BILLS PAID.
AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN EXPENSES.
THERE IS NO NEED TO INFORM ANYONE OF THIS.
PLEASE KEEP IT A SECRET..I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ON MY RETURN.
IF MY DAUGHTER SHOULD SHOW UP TELL HER IVE GONE ON A LONG HOLLIDAY
IF SHE NEEDS ANY MONEY GIVE HER SOME BUT DONT BE FOOLED BY HER.
SHE CAN BE CUNNING ..WINK WINK..
I'M SURE SHE WONT PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES..
THANK YOU MY OLD FRIEND,
TILL I RETURN..
YOURS KEN..AND JUDITH.

WELL SAYS BRANDSON.. BUGGER ME,,
THAT EXPLAINS IT..
I DIDNT THINK TO COME HERE SO QUICK TO BE HONEST.I WAS GOING TO LEAVE IT 
ANOTHER WEEK.
GOOD JOB YOU DID SAID FRANK.
ITS ALL A BIT MYSTERIOUS SAYS JEAN..
THIS COULD EXPLAIN THE OPEN DRAWER SAYS BRANDSTON. 
EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT SAYS FRANK.
HE'S LEFT IN SOMEWHAT OF A HURRY AND LEFT THE DRAWER OPEN.
YES SAYS BRANDSTON..BUT IT MAKES ME WONDER..
ITS NOT LIKE HIM TO BE SO VAGUE,,YOU KNOW..
ITS USUALY YOU KNOW ..JUST OFF ON HOLLS ..SEE YOU IN A MONTH..
OR TWO WEEKS OR WHATEVER.
VERY STRANGE SAYS JEAN.
NOT REALLY SAYS FRANK LOOKING AT JEAN DISSAPROVINGLY.
I MEAN..HE'S GOT HIS REASONS..HE'S EXPAINED WHATS GOING ON..
HE'S JUST GONE SOMEWHERE..POSSIBLY BUSINESS HE DIDNT WANT TO EXPLAIN.
TRUE SAYS BRANDSTON..THAT MAKES SENSE.
WELL, NO POINT DWELLING ON IT HERE. 
I'LL WASH UP THE GLASSES THEN SAYS JEAN.
YES ..YOU DO THAT. THANKS JEAN SAYS BRANDSTON.
I'M JUST A LITTLE SHOCKED TRUTH BE KNOWN HE SAYS.
TELL YOU WHAT..LETS JUST POP BACK UPSATIARS FRANK TO THE OFFICE.
COME ON ..YOU CAN COME WITH ME..FOUR EYES ARE BETTER THAN TWO.
THEY GO UPSTAIRS TO THE OFFICE..
THEY WALK OVER TO THE FILING CABINET.
BRANDSTON OPENS THE TOP DRAWER..
IT WAS THIS DRAWER THAT WAS OPEN.
HE OPENS IT.
NOTICE ANYTHING STARNGE..?
NOT REALLY SAYS FRANK.
NO ME NIETHER SAYS BRANDSTON. 
LOOK ..'A' TO 'H'..IT SAYS ON THE DRAWER.
LETS SEE...'A'...
APPLE..AGA..ANGELA..THATS HIS DAUGHTER.
THEN..'B' LOOK FRANK..ITS EMPTY..
HOW STRANGE SAYS FRANK.
SUDDENLY..JEAN LETS OUT A HUGE SCREAM..AND WE HEAR GLASS BREAK.
MY GOD SAYS FRANK..AND HE HURRIES DOWN STAIRS.
BRANDSTON FOLLOWS.
JEAN IS SHAKING..OH IM SO SORRY BRANDSTON SHE SAYS..
IVE BROKEN ONE OF KENS GLASSES..
BUT IT WAS BECAUSE IM SURE I SAW SOMEONE OUT THERE IN THE BUSHES..
SWINE SAYS BRANDSTON. 
DONT WORRY JEAN..ITS ONLY A GLASS.
THEY ALL PEER OUT ACROSS THE GARDEN.
FRANK SAYS WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE..
YES SAYS BRANDSTON..
WELL ACTUALLY IT LOOKED MORE LIKE A WOMAN..
WELL THERES NO ONE THERE NOW BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS SAYS BRANDSTON.
I SUGEST WE LOCK UP AND GO BACK TO MY PLACE.
GOOD PLAN SAYS FRANK.
JEAN CLEANS UP THE BROKEN GLASS AND THEY GO OUT TO THE CAR.
I'LL DRIVE SAYS BRANDSTON..YOU GET IN THE BACK FRANK AND COMFORT JEAN.
SHE LOOKS IN NEED OF A STIFF ONE..

BACK AT THE OLD PARSONS THEY PUT THE ROLLS AWAY AND GO INTO THE HOUSE.
I THINK WE ALL NEED A STIFF ONE SAYS BRANDSTON POURING THE DRINKS.
THERE YOU ARE JEAN..GIN AND LEMON..NO ICE.
AND FOR YOU FRANK..A WISKEY..
NO THANKS BRANDSTON BUT WE WILL HAVE TO TRY AND GET HOME SOON.
OH ..ARE YOU SURE..I MEAN HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO GET BACK FOR.?
DOG..CAT..? 
NO SAYS JEAN..WE DONT HAVE ANY PETS..JUST ME AND FRANK.
WE BOTH HAD BUSY LIFESTYLES YOU SEE BRANDSTON.
I DIDNT THINK IT FAIR TO KEEP AN ANIMAL ALONE ALL DAY.
ABOSOLUTLY SAYS BRANDSTON..COULDNT AGREE MORE. 
I'M LUCKY I CAN BE WITH HOWLER DAY AND NIGHT..NEVER LEAVES MY SIDE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT WORK..? YOU HAVE TO BE AT WORK..?
OH NO NOT REALLY SAYS JEAN.WE BOTH TOOK EARLY RETIREMENT.
GOOD ON YOU SAYS BRANDSTON..GOOD PENSION PLAN EH..?
WELL NOT REALLY SAYS FRANK..BARELY COVERS THE BILLS TO BE HONEST.
WELL HOW ABOUT THIS SAYS BRANDSTON..STAY OVER AGAIN TONIGHT AS A FAVOUR
TO ME. YOU SEE I NEED SOMEONE HERE TO TALK TO ABOUT ALL THIS AND OK,
I HAVE GUNS AND A DOG SO I'M NOT AFRAID OF INTRUDERS LIKE THIS WOMAN YOU SAW.
BUT IT WOULD JUST HELP ME TONIGHT TO TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION WITH KEN.
IF YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN..AND AS A GESTURE OF GOODWILL,
I'LL PAY FOR YOUR PETROL HOME.
PLUS, WE DONT KNOW FOR SURE IF THE GULLY IS CLEAR YET ON THE LANE.
ONE MORE NIGHT WONT HARM SAYS JEAN.
I SUPPOSE NOT SAYS FRANK RELUCTANTLY.
THATS THE SPIRIT. NOW YOU POUR THE DRINKS JEAN AND I'LL GO AND SEE WHAT I CAN
RUSTLE UP FOR LUNCH.

I'LL JUST TAKE HOWLER OUT FOR QUICK DOO DOOS 
THEN I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE I KEEP THE GUNS FRANK.
BRANDSTON LEAVES WITH THE DOG.
FRANK TURNS TO JEAN..HE'S CLEARLY NOT HAPPY.
WELL THANKS JEAN HE SAYS..
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WELL AWAY FROM HERE AT HOME COUNTING THE BOOTY,
MAKING PLANS..SORTING THINGS OUT..THERES ALREADY THOUSANDS IN THE HOUSE
NOT TO MENTION THE GOLD..WHAT IF WE GET BURGLED..?
FRANK SHE SAYS,,CALM DOWN LOVE, YOUR PANNICKING A BIT.
BRANDSTON COMES BACK IN WITH THE DOG..
ALL DONE HE SAYS..HE'S A GOOD LAD..
NOW..LET ME GET IN THE KITCHEN..CAN YOU LIGHT THE FIRE FRANK? 
FRANK NODS ..YES ..NO PROBLEM..
GOOD MAN ..I'LL SEE WHATS FOR LUNCH..
FRANK CLEARS OUT THE ASHES AND PREPARES KINDLING .
THE FIRE IS SOON ROARING AWAY..
GOOD JOB SAYS BRANDSTON TO FRANK..EXCELNT FIRE..NOW..COME OVER HERE FRANK.
HE SHOWS FRANK TO A SMALL SIDE ROOM LIKE A CUPBOARD.
IT'S IN HERE. HE OPENS A TALL CABINET.
INSIDE ARE THREE DOUBLE BARREL SHOTGUNS.A HUNTING RIFLE AND A PISTOL.
ALL HERE FRANK..NOT A WORD TO JEAN..DON'T WANT HER WORRIED.
BUT IF GOD FORBID WE ARE ATTACKED..WE HAVE WEAPONS..
FRANK IS CONCERNED..ATTACKED BY WHOME HE ASKS ..?
THE ENEMY GOD DAMN IT SAYS BRANDSTON..
FRANK ASKS ..THE ENEMY..?
THAT WOMAN JEAN SAW FOR EXAMPLE..WE DONT KNOW WHO SHE WAS..?
COULD BE A WHOLE GANG OF THEM..COULD BE GYPSIES..PIKEYS..
YOU KNOW THE TYPE FRANK..DAMNED OPORTUNISTS..OR LATVIANS..
RUTHLESS KILLERS FRANK..BETTER TO BE PREPARED..
FRANK SAYS OK..BETTER TO BE PREPARED.
FRANK RETURNS TO THE LIVING ROOM.
BRANDSTON IS IN KITCHEN PREPARING LUNCH.
JEAN WISPERS TO FRANK..DID YOU LIKE THAT..?
LIKE WHAT SAYS FRANK..?
THE DROPPING OF THE GLASS AND SEEING THE WOMAN THING..?
FRANK SAYS..YOU MEAN YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE..?
SURE DID SAYS JEAN..DIVERSION TACTICS.SAW IT ON MURDER SHE WROTE.
NEEDED TO GET YOU AWAY FROM THE CRIME SCENE..
FRANK GRINS..WELL IT CERTAINLY WORKED..BUT YOU'VE GOT 
BRANDSTON PARANOID. HE THINKS WE COULD BE ATTACKED AT ANY TIME.
JUST SHOWED ME A CABINET FULL OF GUNS.
HE'S CONVINCED THE GROUNDS ARE FULL OF GYPSIES OR LATVIANS.
JEAN LAUGHS..OH ITS HILARIOUS FRANK ..COME ON ..LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE.
JUST ENJOY OUR LITTLE BREAK AWAY.
HE'S JUST A BIT EXCENTRIC THATS ALL.
BRANDSTON COMES INTO THE LOUNGE.
NOW ..IVE PREPARED A LIGHT MEATLOAF SALAD..GREEK STYLE.
BUT NO RUSH..I'LL JUST HAVE A REST A MINUTE HERE WITH YOU BOTH.
NOW FRANK, PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY..BUT HOW ARE 
THINGS AT HOME..?
I MEAN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES..FOR EXAMPLE DO YOU OWN YOUR HOME OR RENT.
JEAN SAYS ..WE RENT. NEVER BEEN ABLE TO AFFORD A MORTGAGE.
BUT WE GET BY SAYS FRANK.
OH YES WE DO SAYS JEAN..JUST KEEP OUR HEADS ABOVE WATER.
WE'VE NEVER BEEN MATERIALISTIC TO BE HONEST SAYS FRANK.
MY DAD USED TO SAY..ENOUGHS A FEAST..
HOW VERY TRUE SAYS BRANSTON.
HUMILITY HE SAYS..NOT ENOUGH OF THAT AROUND THESE DAYS.
FRANK SAYS...SINCE I'M HERE FOR THE DAY BRANDSTON, MIND IF I GO UP AND 
LOOK AT THAT ROOF..?SEE IF THERE'S SOME WAY TO FIX IT..?
OF COURSE OLD FELLA SAYS BRANDSTON..THAT WOULD BE A GODSEND.
I HAVE LADDERS TO GET UP TO THE HATCH..
THE HATCH..ASKS FRANK.YES THERES A HATCH IN THE BALLROOM ROOF.
LEADS TO THE MAIN ROOF OUTSIDE.
OH ..GOOD SAYS FRANK..THEN I'LL HAVE A LOOK AFTER LUNCH.
ABSOLUTLY SPLENDID SAYS BRANDSTON.
NOW LETS GET TO THE KITCHEN AND TUCK IN.
ON THE TABLE IS A PLATE WITH ALL KINDS OF SALAMI,PASTRAMI,VARIOUS CHEESES
AND THICK SLICES OF BREAD..AND A LARGE BOWL OF GREEK SALAD.
PLENTY OF GARLIC AND OLIVE OIL SAYS BRANDSTON..MIXES WITH THE TOMATOE JUICE.
GREAT FOR A DIP WITH THE BREAD..
I'LL JUST HAVE A GLASS OF THIS RED BUT I THINK BEST NOT FOR YOU FRANK.
DONT WANT YOU FALLING OFF THE ROOF DO WE.HEALTH N SAFETY AND ALL THAT.
HE LAUGHS..JEAN LAUGHS..FRANK SMIRKS..NO..BEST NOT HE SAYS.

AFTER LUNCH FRANK GOES TO THE GARAGE AND GETS THE LADDERS.
BRING THEM UP SAYS BRANDSTON FROM THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.
I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE HATCH IS.
THEY GO INTO THE BALLROOM.
JUST THERE YOU SEE FRANK..THE LADDERS WILL HOOK ON THOSE THINGS THERE FOR SAFETY.
FRANK FIXES THE LADDERS IN PLACE THEN CLIMBS TO THE TOP.
BRANDSTON SHOUTS UP ..UNDO THE LATCH..MIGHT NEED A BIT OF A PUSH .
FRANK UNFASTENS THE LATCH AND GIVES THE HATCH DOOR A PUSH.
IT OPENS NO PROBLEM. AND SUNLIGHT POURS INTO THE BALLROOM.
CAREFULL NOW FRANK SHOUTS BRANDSTON.
FRANK CLIMBS UP ONTO THE ROOF AND IMEDIATELY SEES THE PROBLEM.A TILE HAS SLIPPED AND THE RAIN 
IS GETTING THROUGH AND DOWN THE FELT UNDERNEATH.
FRANK PUTS THE ROOF TILE BACK IN PLACE NICE AND FIRMLY.
IT JUST NEED A PEG TO HOLD IT IN.
FRANK COMES DOWN.IT WAS A ROOF TILE COME LOOSE SAYS FRANK.ITS BACK IN PLACE
BUT I NEED TO MAKE A PEG..SO IT DOESNT MOVE AGIAN.
OH FRANK WELL DONE.YOU REALLY ARE A MARVEL.
FRANK GOES BACK TO THE GARAGE AND FINDS SOME DOWEL ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE.
HE PUTS A STANLY KNIFE IN HIS POCKET.
BACK ON THE ROOF FRANK SHAVES A BIT OFF THE DOWEL THEN TAPS IT INTO THE TILE HOLE.
THATS GOOD THINKS FRANK .
HE CLOSES THE HATCH FIRMLY, COMES DOWN THEN TAKES THE LADDERS BACK TO 
THE GARAGE.
HOW CAN I THANK YOU ENOUGH SAYS BRANDSTON. JEAN GRINS WITH PRIDE.
HE'S A VERY VERY HANDY MAN MY HUSBAND.
HE MOST CERTAINLY IS SAYS BRANDSTON AND THATS A HUGE WEIGHT OFF MY MIND.
I'M QUITE SURE MARGO IS LOOKING DOWN NOW FRANK AND THANKING YOU TOO.
OHH HOW LOVELY SAYS JEAN..WHAT A LOVELY THOUGHT ISNT IT FRANK.
FRANK SAYS YES..LOVELY .
JEAN SAYS ..I NEVER ASKED YOU BRANDSTON..AND TELL ME TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS,
NO NO SAYS BRANDSTON..WERE ALL FRIENDS TOGETHER ..ASK AWAY.
WELL HOW DID YOUR MARGO..YOU KNOW ..LEAVE US..?
BRANDSTON SAYS..IT WAS ALL VERY TRAGIC JEAN AND SUDDEN.
I REMEMBER IT VIVIDLY...
IT WAS A PERFECT SUMMERS DAY..WE HAD BEEN DOING SOME GARDENING.
WE STOPPED FOR A LITTLE LUNCH. IT WAS WONDERFUL.
JUST SOUNDS OF SUMMER..WOOD PIGEONS COOING..BEES AND WASP..OF COURSE..
THEN AFTER LUNCH WE GET BACK TO THE GARDENING.
MARGO IS PRUNING A ROSE BUSH WITH THE SEQUETERS..
I'M BACK AND FORTH ON THE LAWN ON THE SIT ON MOWER..
NEXT THING I HEAR MARGO SHOUT 'OUCH'..BUT REALLY LOUD.
I STOP THE MOWER.SHES GOT A HUGE THORN FROM THE ROSE BUSH IN HER HAND.
I ASKED HER TO WEAR THE GLOVES BUT SHE WAS HEADSTRONG MARGO.
A VERY DETERMINED WOMAN IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME.
ANYWAY ..I GO TO THE KITCHEN AND GET SOME TCP AND THE TWEEZERS.
I REMOVE THE THORN..SHE DINDNT FLINCH AT ALL..
IT BLED OF COURSE..NOT A LOT..THEN I APPLIED THE TCP ONTO A PLASTER
AND PLACED IT ON THE WOUND.
ALL BACK TO NORMAL..OR SO WE THOUGHT.
AFTER A FEW HOURS SHE SAID ..I THINK I'LL JUST HAVE A LITTLE NAP BOBO..
THAT WAS HER PET NAME FOR ME BOBO..
OH OK I SAID..MAY BE THE SHOCK OF THE THORN AND SO ON.
SO IN SHE GOES AND LIES ON THE CHEZ LONGUE ..I COVER HER WITH THE 
BLANKET ..THE CROCHET ONE I SHOWED YOU .SLEEP WELL I SAID.
I WENT BACK OUTSIDE TO DO A LITTLE MORE MOWING.
I'D SAY I WAS OUT ABOUT ANOTHER HALF HOUR.
SO I CAME IN TO CHECK ON HER..POOR MARGO..
HE STARTS TO SOB INTO A HANKY..THERES A PAUSE..JEAN SAYS..
HAD SHE GONE..?
BRANDSTON BLEW HIS NOSE..OH NO ..SHE HADN'T ...GONE.
BUT SHE WAS SHAKING WILDLY AND COVERED IN SWEAT..
WELL WE KNOW ALL THE SIGNS OF THIS SORT OF THING FRANK.
DENGHI FEVER..MALARIA..BERRY BERRY..MANDINGO'S..
YES SAID FRANK..APPOPLECTIC SHOCK I'D SAY..
SO RIGHT ..JUST WHAT I THOUGHT..SO STRAIGHT ON THE OLD BLOWER..
999..THEY WERE HERE IN MINUTES..INTO THE AMBLANCE..INJECTED WITH SOMETHING
AND STRAIGHT INTO A AND E...
DO YOU KNOW FRANK..IT TOOK NEARLY TWO HOURS FOR A DR TO SEE HER.
MY POOR MARGO..
THE DR ASKED ME WHAT WE HAD EATEN..I THINK ITS A FOOD ALLERGY HE SAYS..
OF COURSE I BELIVED HIM YOU SEE..WE HAVE TO TRUST THEM DONT WE.
SO SHE WAS MOVED TO A MEDICAL WARD, ON TWO DRIPS..TEMP AND HEART MONITOR.
I SAT BY THE BED..SHE LOOKED TO BE SO PEACEFULL.
THEN ,JUST LIKE THAT SHE SITS BOLT UPRIGHT IN THE BAD..EYES WIDE OPEN
AND SHE SCREAMS...'I WON'T GO SHE YELLS..I WONT GO..
DO YOU HEAR ME..AND HER EYES FRANK..WILD AND IT WAS AS IF SHE COULD SEE SOMEONE..
YOU KNOW ..MAYBE SOMETHING SPIRITUAL.
THEN HER HEAD FELL BACK ONTO THE PILLOW.
THE HEART MACHINE WAS BLEEPING FLAT LINE.. AND IMEDIETLY THE RESUSS TEAM ARIVED..
STAND CLEAR..YOU KNOW THE DRILL.
I DO SAYS JEAN..I WAS IN THE ST JOHNS..
CHURCH ASKS BRANDSTON.?
NOO AMBULANCE BRIGADE..IVE SEEN THAT DONE QUITE A FEW TIMES..
WELL THEY TRIED SEVERAL TIMES..NOTHING ...POOR MARGO'S GONE.
THEY BROUGHT ME A CUP OF TEA AND A PLATE OF RICH TEA BISCUITS,
BUT I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT..
AND WHAT WAS IT ASKS JEAN..?
BRANDSTON BLOWS HIS NOSE AGAIN..WIPES HIS EYES THEN SAYS..
THE TARRAMASALATA...IT WAS ALL MY FAULT YOU SEE..
I HADN'T REALISED IT WAS ALMOST TWO WEEKS BEYOND THE EAT BY..
TOXIC REACTION..FISH EGGS YOU SEE..SEVERE POISONING..
IT TOOK A FEW TESTS OF COURSE TO PIN IT DOWN..
THOUGHT IT WAS SEPSIS AT FIRST..
I WAS DEVASTATED TO SAY THE LEAST..THING IS I DIDNT HAVE ANY..
I DONT LIKE THE STUFF BUT POOR MARGO ..SHE LOVED ANYTHNG GREEK.
SHE HAD SEVERAL LP'S OF THEODORAKIS AND NANNA MUSKUIRI..
JEAN SAYS ..HOW VERY TRAGIC..
YES SAYS BRANDSTON BUT THAT WASNT THE END OF IT.
THERE WAS WORSE TO COME FOR ME..MUCH WORSE.
FRANK SAYS..WHAT DO YOU MEAN..?
WELL , THEY ARRESTED ME FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER..ACCUSED ME OF HER DEATH.
WHICH WAS CORRECT IN A WAY ..I MEAN I DID SERVE IT UP BUT CHRIST.
THREE DAYS I WAS LOCKED UP FRANK..
THANK GOD AGAIN FOR KEN..ALWAYS TO THE RESCUE..GOT ME A REALLY GOOD BRIEF.
DOUGIE BYWATERS...YOU KNOW HIM.?
NO SAYS FRANK...WELL HE CERTAINLY KNEW HIS STUFF.CASE DISMISSED AND 
CASE CLOSED.. NO WAY THE PPS COULD MAKE THIS STICK.
BUT HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID FRANK.?.A SIMPLE THING LIKE A SELL BY DATE?.
JEAN SAYS..ITS TRAGIC BRANDSTON BUT ITS AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE.
YOU SHOULDN'T BLAME YOURSELF. WE'VE NEVER TRIED SUSHI HAVE WE FRANK.
GOOD GOD NO..ALL THE SHIT IN THE SEA..
I KNOW WHERE YOUR COMING FROM FRANK, SAYS BRANDSTON.
I MEAN, HAVE YOU HEARD THE LATEST? .MURCURY IN TUNA...IN SPRINGWATER YES BUT
MURCURY FOR GODS SAKE.AND SAYS FRANK..MICRO PLASTICS..
FISH ARE EATING IT AND CHANGING SEX...AND IN WINDERMERE..
SNAPPING TURTLES...WELL THIER FROM THE SWAMPS OF LOUISIANA..
HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET HERE..?
AND ALL THE EXCREMENT..SAYS JEAN..
EXCREMENT ASKS BRANDSTON.?
YES..IN OUR RIVERS AND SEA'S. FRANKS CAUGHT MANY A TROUT FISHING
BUT WE CERTAINLY WOULDN'T EAT IT..
FRANK SAYS... AND A LARGE SALMON ONCE..17 POUNDER..ON THE FLY.
TOOK IT HOME..GUTTED..COOKED IT...BLOODY PARAFIN..TASTED OF PARAFIN.
MY GOD SAID BRANSTON .WHAT A FILTHY DIDGUSTING WORLD WE LIVE IN .

WELL I SUPPOSE WE BETTER MAKE A MOVE SAYS BRANDSTON..NO SENSE IN ME MOPING AROUND
ABOUT THE PAST..NOW, HOW ABOUT WE GET THE OLD GIRL OUT AND SEE IF WE CAN GET TO THE VILLAGE.
MAYBE HAVE A SNIFTER IN THE TWO SPARROWS?
SOUNDS WONDERFUL SAYS JEAN.WHY NOT INDEED SAYS FRANK.
WELL I'LL LET YOU DRIVE FRANK..THEN I CAN HAVE A COUPLE.
WHAT ABOUT INSURANCE SAYS FRANK?
OOH NO PROBS THERE OLD MAN..FULLY COMP ANY DRIVER.
GOOD SAYS FRANK.
THEY SET OFF FOR THE VILLAGE.THEY PASS KENETHS PLACE THEN ON 
TO THE BOTTOM OF THE LANE..THE FLOOD HAS GONE AND THEY MAKE THIER WAY TO THE VILLAGE.
BRANDSTON SAYS SLOW DOWN JUST HERE PLEASE FRANK..CAN YOU PULL
IN JUST ON THE LEFT..THERE'S A SPACE THERE LOOK.
FRANK REVERSES THE CAR INTO THE GAP AND STOPS THE ENGINE.
I WONT BE LONG SAYS BRANDSTON..HE GETS OUT AND KNOCKS AT A DOOR.
FRANK SEES ITS NUMBER 17..
A WOMAN COMES TO THE DOOR..BRANDSTON IS EXPLAINING SOMETHING TO HER.
THE THE WOMAN CLOSES THE DOOR AND BRANDSTON GETS BACK IN.
I'M AFRAID SHE'S NOT THE NICEST OF CREATURES.
MALCOMBS LAND LADY..I EXPLAINED WHAT I KNEW AND SHE HAILED ABUSE.
SHE SAYS MALCOMB ALLREDY OWES THREE MONTHS RENT AND
IF HE DOESNT PAY UP BY MONDAY  SHE WILL TURF IT ALL OUT INTO A SKIP..
WHAT A SITUATION..BUT NEVER MIND..WE'LL FIND A WAY ROUND IT.
NOW FRANK..STRAIGHT ON TO THE VILLAGE CENTER AND THE TWO SPARROWS.
FRANK DOES AS INSTRUCTED.
THEY PARK UP OUTSIDE AND ENTER THE PUB..ITS QUIET.
THE LANDLORD SAYS..WELL I NEVER..BRANDSTON..WHAT A PLEASANT SUPRISE.
NOT SEEN YOU IN A WEEK OF MONKEYS..
MONDAYS YOU MEAN SAYS FRANK..
OH YES..JUST A JOKE SAYS THE LANDLORD.AND WHOS THIS YOU TAGGED ALONG.
BRANDSTON SAYS JIMMY..PLEASE MEET MY GOOD FRIENDS FRANK AND JEAN..
NOW I'LL HAVE THE USUAL AND JEAN WILL HAVE A GIN AND LEMON..NO ICE JIM.
FRANKS OUR CHAUFERE TODAY SO HE'LL BE ABSTAINING..
QUIET TODAY JIM..?
EYE SAYS JIM..AUCTION DAY INIT..THERE ALL UP FENTONS ..
SHOULD PICK UP ABOUT FIVE. 
ERE SAYS JIM..YOU SEEN OUT OF KEN N JUDITH..?
THEY OFF ON HOLIDAY AGAIN..?
THEY'S NORMALLY IN FOR QUIZ NIGHT WEDNESDAY..
YES SAYS BRANDSTON..I THINK THERE AWAY SOMEWHERE..
SOMEWHERE NICE ASKS JIM..?
SWITZERLAND..SAYS BRANDSTON.
HE WINKS AT FRANK..JIM SERVES THE DRINKS..THEN SAYS...BE WANTING ANY FOOD.?
GOT SOME NICE STEAK PIE IN THE BACK.?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SAYS BRANDSTON..COULD YOU PARCEL UP FOUR PORTIONS.
WE'LL TAKE IT HOME FOR DINNER..SAVE US COOKING THIS EVENING..
JIM GOES IN THE BACK..WILL DO HE SAYS..
FRANK JEAN AND BRANDSTON SIT AT A TABLE NEAR THE WINDOW OVERLOOKING THE VILLAGE GREEN.
BRANDSTON SAYS..IDYLIC ISNT IT..THE EPITOMY OF THE RURAL ENGLISH VILLAGE.
JEAN SAYS IT REALLY NICE..AND THE FLOWER BOXES. SO MUCH COLOUR.
IT IS A LOVELY PLACE SAYS FRANK..
WELL LISTEN SAYS BRANDSTON..I'VE GOT AN IDEA..
I KNOW THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK..BUT BEAR WITH ME..
ITS JUST AN IDEA..

NOW SAYS BRANDSTON..AFTER TAKING A BIG SWIG OF BRANDY..
YOU HAVE BOTH TOLD ME WHAT A STRUGGLE LIFE IS ..IN ERM,
WHERE WAS IT ..?
PENDLE..LANCASHIRE..SAYS FRANK..
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY..ITS GRIM UP NORTH..
THEY ALL LAUGH..
BUT SEIOUSLY SAYS BRANDSTON..LIFE CANT BE THAT EASY FOR YOU AND WELL,
I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER..AND THAT HOUSE ..SO BIG..SO MANY ROOMS..
I MEAN ..ITS FAR TOO BIG FOR ME ON MY OWN..
AND SO MUCH WORK TO DO..FAR TOO MUCH FOR ME ON MY OWN..
AND WELL I'LL BE HONEST..THIS FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN SO MUCH PLEASURE FOR ME.
YOUR COMPANY..BOTH OF YOU..ITS BEEN SO GOOD...I'VE NOT HAD THIS MUCH FUN
IN A LONG TIME..NO..YOU TWO..
FRANK INTERUPTS..YOU'VE BEEN SO VERY KIND BARADSTON..
NO NO HE SAYS..LET ME FINISH..
WELL, WHAT I'M GOING TO SUGGEST..ITS JUST AN IDEA I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT,
ON YOUR WAY HOME..
WHAT IS IT ASKS JEAN..? THIS IDEA OF YOURS..?
I'LL CUT TO THE CHASE..I WANT YOU AND FRANK TO MOVE INTO THE HOUSE WITH ME.

THERES SILENCE AROUND THE TABLE..
FRANK AND JEAN ARE SILENT .THIER SHOCKED..

I CAN SEE YOUR BOTH SHOCKED SAYS BRANDSTON..
AS I SAY..ITS JUST AN IDEA..MY THINKING BEING IT MIGHT,
IT JUST MIGHT BE A BENEFIT TO US ALL..

THEN JIM APPEARS AT THE BAR..GOT YOUR PIES ALL WRAPPED UP.
I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY THEM..
BRADSTON GETS UP AND GOES TO THE BAR..WHATS THE DAMAGE..?
CALL IT SIX POUNDS FOR CASH SAYS JIM..
HE HANDS OVER A TEN POUND NIGHT.
KEEP THE CHANGE JIM..MUCHLY APPRECIATED..
HE TAKES THE BAG..
LET US ON OUR MERRY WAY SAYS BRANDSTON..

THEY GET INTO THE CAR AND FRANK DRIVES THEM BACK TO THE MANOR.
ON THE WAY BACK JEAN SAYS NOTHING ..BRANDSTON IS ALSO SILENT.
THEN AS THE CAR PULLS INTO THE DRIVE..BRANDSTON PUTS HIS HAND 
ON JEANS KNEE.. SHE LOOKS AT HIM..HE SAYS TO JEAN QUIETLY...
'I KNOW THERE'S A LOT TO THINK ABOUT JEAN..
BUT I WANT BOTH YOU AND FRANK TO GET MORE FROM LIFE..
LIVE WITHOUT WORRY OF DAY TO DAY..
HE SQUEEZES HER KNEE..THINK ABOUT IT JEAN..

FRANKS PUTS THE CAR AWAY AND GOES INTO THE HOUSE.

THERES A STRANGE SILENCE AMONG THEM..
NOW..SAYS BRANDSTON..I KNOW YOU'LL WANT TO GET READY FOR YOUR LONG JOURNEY.
I WON'T KEEP YOU A MOMENT LONGER.
AND ILL LET YOU TAKE THESE PIES HOME WITH YOU.. 
THANK YOU SAYS FRANK.HE GOES UPSATIRS TO THE BEDROOM TO GET A FEW BELONGINS..
THEN HE'S STOOD AT THE FRONT DOOR..
YOUR COATS SAYS BRANDSTON..ALL NICELY DRIED OUT..
THANK YOU SAYS JEAN..YES ..SAYS FRANK..THANK YOU FOR YOUR EVERY KINDNESS.
THEY WALK OUT TO THEIR CAR..BRANDSTON STANDS IN THE DOORWAY WITH HOWLER..
HE WAVES AS FRANK STARTS THE CAR AND THEY LEAVE..JEAN WAVES BACK AT BRANDSTON..
FRANK DRIVES AWAY FROM THE HOUSE .. ON THE THIER WAY HOME..
THEY SAY NOTHING..JEAN FALLS ASLEEP. 
FRANKS MIND IS ON THE CONTENTS OF THE RUCKSACK.

THEY ARE HOME AND FRANK STOPS THE CAR.
JEAN VERY SLOWLY WAKES UP..OHH SHE SAYS..WERE HOME..
YOU FELL ASLEEP SAYS FRANK.
YES SAYS JEAN..I NEEDED THAT..I THINK IT WAS ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
THEY GET THE RUCKSACK AND GO INSIDE.
ITS DARK NOW.THERE'S MAIL BEHIND THE DOOR.AND A NOTE FROM THE POST OFFICE.
MISSED LETTER DELIVERY.
I DONT LIKE THE LOOK OF THAT SAYS FRANK.
USUALY MEANS A BAD DEBT..
JEAN YAWNS AND STRECHES ...I'LL PUT THE KETTLE ON SHE SAYS.
FRANK SAYS NOTHING.HE GOES TO THE LOUNGE WITH THE RUCKSACK.
JEAN POPS HER HEAD ROUND THE DOOR.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE FORGOT SHE SAYS..
FRANK IS WEARY FROM THE DRIVE..WHATS THAT HE ASKS.?
BRANDSTONS PHONE NUMBER.
FRANK HAS THE BANK STATEMENTS ON THE TABLE.
HE'S SUDYING THEM CAREFULLY.
JEAN BRINGS FRANK A CUPPA.
LOOK AT THIS LOVE.
THAT GOLD CARD ACCOUNT HAS OVER THREE MILLION POUNDS IN IT.
THE VISA HAS A LIMIT OF 10K..AND THE OTHER TWO THE SAME.
ITS UNBELIEVABLE THE AMOUNT OF MONEY HE HAD..
YES SAYS JEAN, UNBELIEVABLE.

FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH. TOMMOROW WE GO TO THE FARM AND THE RIVER.
SEE WHATS WHAT..?
OK SAYS JEAN..

AFTER THE FLOODING FRANK IS CONCERNED.
HE WORRIES AS JEAN REMINDED HIM.WHAT IF THE BODY OF KENETH IS WASHED UP
AND DISCOVERED? THE CAT WOULD BE AMONG THE PIGEONS.

AN EARLY NIGHT JEAN..A GOOD REST AND WE'LL BE OFF AT FIRST LIGHT.

AND SO THEY ARE..FRANK PUTS THE FISHING GEAR IN THE CAR BOOT.
JEAN PUTS THE BAG OF SANDWICHES ON THE BACK SEAT.
THEY SET OFF FOR THE FARM..
THEY PARK IN THE FARM CAR PARK.
THE FARMER..EVER THE WATCHMAN SEE'S THEM ARIVE.
APEARS FROM BEHIND A TREE..
HERE TO SEE THE MESS ARE YOU.? HE SAYS..
I HEARD ABOUT THE FLOODING SAYS FRANK. DID IT REACH THE FARM.?
WE GOT LUCKY AGAIN SAYS MR TRIPPET. BUT OF LATE ..THESE FLOODS GET WORST 
EACH TIME..I BEEN HERE FORTY YEARS..NEVER SEEN THE LIKE OF IT.
THE RIVER FIELD LOOKS LIKE A BOMB SITE..
ALL MANNER OF SHIT WASHED UP..INCLUDING ..SHIT..
I KID YOU NOT..WAIT TILL YOU SEE IT.
DID IT ERM..THROW UP ANYTHING UNUSUSAL..?
UNUSUAL SAYS THE FARMER ?.I SHOULD SAY SO..
ALL SORTS OF GARDEN EQUIPMENT..FENCING..DEAD ANIMALS AND THINGS,
PLASTIC OF ALL SORTS..PAPER ..DUSTBINS..A TAMPLOINE..
REEDS AND DEBRIS OF EVERY KIND. WILL TAKE ME AND YOUNG TIM A MONTH 
TO CLEAN UP..OH AND..BELIEVE IT OR NOT THIS..A MOBILE PHONE.
PISSED WET THROUGH LIKE..
LET ME SEE SAYS FRANK..GOOD GOD JEAN LOOK..ITS THE PHONE YOU LOST.
JEAN LOST IT ON THE RIVER BANK..WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT..
TIPPET SAYS ..WELL THERE YOU GO..HAVE IT BACK BUT I DOUBT ITS OF ANY USE.
OH..SAYS TRIPPET..DIDNT LOSE ANY SHOES DID YOU..HE LAUGHS.
SHOES ASKS FRANK.?.YES SAYS THE FARMER. NICE ITALIAN SHOES THEY ARE.
LACES TIED TOGETHER SO LOST LIKE..AS A PAIR YOU MIGHT SAY..
I LOOKED EM UP ON EBAY..£2000 A PAIR...IVE GOT EM DRYING OUT INT KITCHEN 
ON THE RACK...
ST CRISPIAN..SAYS TRIPPET..
I BEG YOUR PARDON SAYS FRANK..?
SUNDAY ..ITS CHURCH DAY FOR US. TODAY IS THE FEAST DAY OF ST CRISPIAN..
I BETTER GET OFF AND WASHED UP.
I DOUBT YU'LL BE CATCHING ANY MORE THAN A COLD TODAY..
BUT ENJOY IT ..
THEN TRIPPET TRUNDLES AWAY..

JEAN SAYS..ALL GOOD FRANK..NO MENTION OF A BODY..?
NO SAYS FRANK..AND THEN HE LAUGHS..BUT LOOK ..WE HAVE YOUR PHONE BACK..
JEAN LAUGHS..

THEY MAKE THIER WAY TO THE RIVER BANK, TO THIER USUAL PLACE.
THE RIVER IS NOW BACK TO ITS NORMAL LEVELS..
JEAN SAYS ..LOOK FRANK..OVER THERE..A HERON..
FRANK GRINS..YOUR LEARNING JEAN..
FRANK GETS HIS ROD REST..BATTERS DOWN THE REEDS ON THE RIVER BANK.
NO SIGN OF THE BODY..LOOK JEAN HE SAYS,,I TOLD YOU ..
ITS BEEN WASHED OUT TO SEA..
WE CAN RELAX A BIT..
LETS HAVE A SANDWICH AND A COFFEE THEN WE'LL PACK UP.

I'M DYING TO LOOK AT THE CONTENTS OF THAT BOX.
ME TOO SAYS JEAN..
FRANK SITS ON HIS COAT..HE'S DEEP IN THOUGHT AS HE EATS HIS SANDWICH.
PENNY FOR THEM..SAYS JEAN..
OH I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR LIVES HAVE CHANGED.
AND..I WAS THINKING ABOUT BRANSTONS OFFER.
IT WOULD BE A LOVELY PLACE TO LIVE BUT WE WOULDN'T HAVE MUCH PRIVACY.
HOWEVER, I HAVN'T COMPLETELY GIVE UP ON THE IDEA.
THERE IS A WAY IT COULD WORK.
I'LL EXPLAIN WHEN WE GET HOME LOVE.

THEY PACK UP AND DRIVE HOME.
ON THE WAY BACK FRANK STOPS AT KFC..THEY GET A TAKE HOME MEAL.
DID YOU REMEMBER THE GRAVY ASKS JEAN..
FRANK SAYS..NOW COME ON JEAN..

THEY GET HOME AND TUCK IN WHILE WATCHING THE TV.
ITS HOMES UNDER THE HAMMER..
WE COULD DO THAT SAYS JEAN..YOU KNOW, BUY A RUN DOWN AND DO IT UP.

TOO MUCH LIKE HARD WORK SAYS FRANK..
NO..WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS GET BACK TO BRANSTONS PLACE AND 
TELL HIM MY PLAN..
AND WHATS THAT ASKS JEAN..
WELL. YOU KNOW HOW BRANDSTON HAS ALL THAT LAND.?
YES SAYS JEAN..
WELL PICTURE THIS SAYS FRANK..A LOVELY WOODEN CHALET OR A LUXERY STATIC.
CARAVAN SAYS JEAN..?
YES. WE COULD COME AND GO AS WE PLEASE BUT WE WOULD STILL BE ABLE 
TO HELP BRANDSTON WITH STUFF.AND...
WE COULD GIVE UP THIS PLACE..FOR GOOD.
BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OUR STUFF..?
NOT A PROBLEM SAYS FRANK..TAKE IT AND STORE IT AT BRANSTONS.
JUST PUT IN THE STATIC WHAT WE NEED..SIMPLE..
JEAN GETS HER PHONE OUT...
WHAT YOU UP TOO ASKS FRANK..?
I'M JUST LOOKING SHE SAYS..
AT WHAT SAYS FRANK.?
NEVER YOU MIND SHE SAYS..
OKAY SAYS FRANK...ITS TIME TO OPEN THE BOX..
REMEMBER THAT ..ON TELE..
FLIPPING LONG TIME AGO FRANK SAYS JEAN..
YES...LATE SIXTIES I WOULD THINK...
OOOH SAYS JEAN..WHAT WAS HIS NAME..?
YOU KNOW, THE QUESTION BLOKE..
OOOH DONT TELL ME SAYS FRANK..HANG ON...
THEN AT THE SAME TIME THEY SAY...'MICHEAL MILES' ...
THEY BOTH LAUGH..
JEAN SITS NEXT TO FRANK ON THE COUCH.
BEFORE THEM ON THE COFFEE TABLE..THE BOX..
ITS ABOUT 18 INCHES BY 12 INCHES AND 8 DEEP.
SLOWLY FRANK LIFTS THE LID..THE WOOD GIVES OFF A LOVELY SCENT..
FRANK SAYS..SMELL THAT LOVE..THATS CEDAR..
SMELLS LOVELY SAYS JEAN.
THE BOX OPEN BEFOR THEM..FRANK STARTS TO TAKE OUT THE CONTENTS.
FIRST AS THEIR AT THE TOP..WATCHES..MENS AND LADIES..ROLEX AND CARTIER..
FRANKS PUTS THEM CAREFULLY ONTO A TEA TOWEL.
NEXT COMES THE JEWELRY..
FIRST..A NECKLEACE..FRANKS SAYS TO JEAN..THATS WHITE GOLD THAT IS...
AND THEY JEAN..ARE REAL DIAMONDS..!!!
THREE SIMMIALAR NECKLACES..GOLD CHAINS..EARINGS WITH HUGE DIAMONDS.
THEN ..IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX...
12 OF THE GOLD DABLOONS...
ITS A SMALL FORTUNE JEAN..SAYS FRANK..GOBSMACKED..
JEAN IS LIKE A RABIT IN HEADLIGHTS..SHE JUST STARES OPEN MOUTHED..
AND THESE WATCHES SAYS FRANK..LOOK AT THIS ONE..
ROLEX..TOP OF THE RANGE I'D SAY.
AND THIS ONE ..LADIES CARTIER...THEY ARE ALL TINY DIAMONDS..
AND THAT STRAP..BET THATS TITANIUM..OR WHITE GOLD..
HE CERTAINLY SPOILT JUDITH DIDN'T HE..?
OH GOD YES..NO WONDER..YOU KNOW, THAT HE DID WHAT HE DID.
HE MUST HAVE BEEN DEVASTED..TO GIVE ALL THAT LOVE AND THEN
BE CHEATED ON..TERRIBLE.
JEAN SAYS...BY THE WAY LOVE..WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE GUN..?
ITS NEXT TO MY BED SAYS FRANK..

JEAN SAYS..IVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU FRANK..YOU KNOW THAT..?
FRANK LOOKS AT JEAN.. HE SAYS NOTHING..

RIGHT SAYS FRANK..I HAVE A PLAN...OHH I LIKE PLANS SAYS JEAN.
TOMORROW WE GO BACK TO THE OLD PARSONS..AND WE TAKE ALL THIS LOT WITH US..
WE FIND A WAY TO BURY IT SOMEWHERE ON BRANDSTONS LAND..
IF THIS LOT WENT BELLY UP..FIRST PLACE SEARCHED WOULD BE HERE.
WHERAS, IF ITS HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY..?
MAKES TOTAL SENSE SAYS JEAN.
GOOD SAYS FRANK..WE LEAVE IN THE MORNING..TONIGHT ITS RELAX..
A FEW BEERS AND THE SNOOKER..
HE GIVES JEAN A HUG..WE COULD HAVE AN EARLY NIGHT FRANK SHE SAYS..
FRANK SAYS ..NOT TOO EARLY LOVE..ITS DING DONG WEE AND O'SULLIVAN TONIGHT.
I ALWAYS FEEL A BIT SORRY FOR THE CHINESE PLAYERS.
WHY SAYS JEAN..?
WELL THERE A LOT SHORTER ARN'T THEY..THEY SHOULD LET THEM STAND ON A BOX..
JEAN LAUGHS..FRANK LAUGHS..
O'SULLIVAN WINS..FRANK GOES UPSTAIRS TO BED BUT JEAN IS ALREADY ASLEEP.
HE GIVES HER A KISS.THEN TURNS OUT THE LIGHTS..

IT'S ABOUT TWO AM.. FRANK HEARS A STRANGE NOISE OUTSIDE..
HE GOES TO THE WINDOW..NO ONE THERE..
HE PAUSES..LISTENS..THEN HE HEARS A NOISE DOWNSTAIRS..
FRANK HAS ALWAYS KEPT A GOLF CLUB IN THE BEDROOM.HE GRABS IT AND KREEPS TO THE STAIRS.
SLOWLY HE INCHES HIS WAY DOWN STAIRS. HE CAN HERE A STARNGE RUSTLING
IN THE KITCHEN.
HE SNEEKS TO THE OPEN DOOR, RAISES THE GOLF CLUB THEN FLICKS THE LIGHT ON.
NOTHING. ITS DEADLY SILENT. WE WAITS. HE CHECKS THE BACK DOOR. ITS LOCKED.
THEN HE HEARS A NOISE UNDER THE SINK. HE SLOWLY OPENS THE CUPBOARD DOOR UNDER THE SINK.
JESUS...SOMETHING FURY LEAPS OUT AT HIM...BASTARD HE SHOUTS..ITS A SQUIREL.
JEAN IS AT THE KITCHEN DOORWAY. 'WHATS GOING ON FRANK..?'
FRANK QUICKLY SHUTS THE KITCHEN DOOR.THE SQUIREL IS ON TOP OF THE KITCHEN WALL UNITS.
'DON'T TRY TO COME IN JEAN'. SHOUTS FRANK. ITS ON THE TOP OF THE WALL CUPBOARD..
'WHAT IS ?.SHOUTS JEAN..
THE BASTARD SQUIREL. FRANK LOOKS IN THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE SINK.
THE BASTARD HAS CHEWED THROUGH A PLASTIC BAG THAT CONTAINS THE MONEY.
HE GRABS WHATS LEFT OF THE BAG AND CHECKS INSIDE. THE BASTARD HAS CHEWED THE CORNERS 
OF SEVERAL FIFTY POUND NOTES.. HE OPENS THE KITCHEN DOOR AND PASSES THE BAG 
TO JEAN..'LOOK WHAT THAT BASTARD HAS DONE HE SAYS..
THEN HE QUICKLY CLOSES THE DOOR. NOW..HOW DID THE BASTARD GET IN AND HOW CAN HE GET 
RID OF IT.?
THEN HE REMEMBERS...THE AIR RIFLE..!!!
FIRST HE CHECKS UNDER THE SINK..AND THERE IT IS..A HOLE IN THE WALL NEXT TO THE 
SINK OUTLET PIPE. JUST BIG ENOUGH FOR A SQUIREL OR A RAT. 
HE OPENS THE KITCHEN DRAWER AND FINDS A KEY..ITS FOR THE SHED.
HE OPENS THE BACK DOOR AND QUICKLY CLOSES IT. HE'S OUTSIDE AND ON HIS WAY TO THE SHED.
HE REMOVES THE PADLOCK. INSIDE  AND FINDS THE AIR RIFFLE. A HANDFULL OF PELLETS AND HES 
BACK TO THE KITCHEN..INSIDE, HE COCKS THE BARREL, INSERTS A PELLET THEN SHOUTS
'DONT COME IN JEAN LOVE, I'VE GOT THE GUN.!!!!'
HE LOOKS UP TO THE TOPS OF THE KITCHEN UNITS..LEFT ..RIGHT..LEFT RIGHT..
BUT NOTHING..AND HE CANT HEAR IT..HE GOES THE DRAWER WHERE JEAN KEEPS BIRD SEED AND 
PEANUTS.. AHHAAA HE THINKS..HE GRABS A HANDFULL OF THE NUTS AND THROWS THEM UP ONTO
THE TOP OF THE WALL UNITS...NO SOUND..NOTHING..
IS THE BASTARD STILL HERE INSIDE HE WONDERS..?
HE WAITS...IN SILENCE.SAT ON A CHAIR WITH HIS FINGER ON THE TRIGGER.
JEAN SHOUTS FROM BEHIND THE DOOR. COME BACK TO BED FRANK.
WE CAN GET THE BUGGER IN THE MORNING. 

HE DOES AS JEAN ADVISES AND GOES BACK TO BED, BUT HE'S UNEASY.
HIS MIND IS RACING, THINKING ABOUT ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED AND OF COURSE,
THAT DAMNED SQUIREL...!!!
HIS CONCIENCE IS PLAYING GAMES IN HIS MIND. HE ASKS HIMSELF DEEP QUESTIONS.
''IS IT RIGHT TO TAKE THIS MANS MONEY.?.''
AM I DOING THIS FOR THE RIGHT REASONS..?
WHAT IF WE'RE DISCOVERED, WHAT SORT OF CRIME IS IT AND WHAT ABOUT JEAN.
I CAN'T STAND THE IDEA OF HER GOING TO PRISON FOR MY CRIMES.
IT WAS ALL MY IDEA AFTER ALL AND ANYWAY, WHO WOULD BELIEVE US.
SO MANY WORRIES AND CONCERNS AND TILL NOW, WE'VE HARDLY SPENT ANY OF IT.

SUDDELY, IN HIS HALF REVERIE, A GIRL APPEARS. IT'S HIS TEENAGE SWEETHEART.
HE WAS SIXTEEN. SHE WAS A YEAR OLDER.HER NAME WAS ANGELA.
HE WANTED TO MARRY HER ONE DAY BUT SHE HAD DIFFERENT IDEAS. 
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND FRANK WAS GUTTED WHEN SHE DUMPTED HIM FOR A BLOKE WHO WORKED ON 
THE BINS.
HE TAKES HER FROM HIS THOUGHTS AND THEN THINKS ABOUT THE MONEY
AND WHAT TO SPEND IT ON.
IT TAKES A WHILE BUT EVENTUALY HE NODS OFF.

NEXT MORNING FRANK IS AWAKE AT FIRST LIGHT. HE GOES DOWNSTAIRS TO THE KITCHEN 
AND MAKES A POT OF TEA. ITS NOT LONG TILL JEAN JOINS HIM.
SHE SAYS..'DID YOU GET MUCH SLEEP LOVE.?' 
NO SAYS FRANK.VERY LITTLE. HOW ABOUT YOU..? THE SAME SAYS JEAN. 
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS BUSINESS OF MOVING TO BRANDSTONS.
ME TOO SAYS FRANK AND I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
JEAN LOOKS AT HIM ENQUIRINGLY. 
FRANK CONTINUES...'IT'S ONLY A QUESTION OF TIME TILL SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SOMEHOW
NOTICES THAT KENETH AND HIS WIFE ARE MISSING.WE NEED TO PLAN FOR THAT EVENT OR DO OUR BEST
TO AVOID IT SOMEHOW. AND I HAVE A SORT OF PLAN.
JEAN SIPS HER TEA. SHE SAYS, OK, NO RUSH FRANK. FANCY BOILED EGGS..?
THAT WOULD BE LOVELY SAYS FRANK NOW COME HERE.HE PULLS HER CLOSELY TO HIM AS SHE 
STANDS. HE OPENS HER DRESSING GOWN.SHE'S NAKED BENEATH IT. HE LOOKS AT HER ADORINGLY.
HE PUTS HIS HEAD NEAR HER BREASTS. 'OH FRANK SHE SAYS.FRANK GRABS HER BY THE HAND AND 
LEADS HER BACK UPSATIRS TO THE BEDROOM. HE MAKES HER LIE ON THE BED. ITS 
BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY WERE INTIMATE AND THEY ARE SOON LOCKED IN PASSIONATE EMBRACE.
AND, ITS ALL OVER VERY QUICKLY. TOO QUICKLY FOR JEAN.
FRANK PUTS HIS DRESSING GOWN ON AND SAYS ..MY GOD JEAN, I NEEDED THAT.

THEY SIT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE EATING THE BOILED EGGS WITH TOAST.
FRANK SAYS..FIRST THINGS FIRST. I'LL GO TO B AND Q AND GET SOME FILLER FOR UNDER THE SINK.
I'M GUESSING THE BASTARD SQUIREL HAS GONE BACK OUTSIDE.I'LL GET THAT HOLED FILLED.
HOW MANY OF THE NOTES HAS IT RUINED..?
JEAN SAYS 'OH NOT MANY, ABOUT HALF A DOZEN I'D SAY. GOOD JOB YOU FOUND IT WHEN YOU DID
THOUGH OR THAT BAG OF CASH WOULD BE A NEST. '
JEAN PUTS HER SPOON DOWN AND SAYS, 'FRANK'?
YES LOVE ? HE SAYS. 'WELL SHE SAYS, I KNOW THIS MAY SOUND LIKE A DAFT QUESTION
ESPECIALY AFTER WHAT WE JUST DID, BUT..WELL, 
'GO ON SAYS FRANK..'
WELL, DO YOU STILL FIND ME ATTRACTIVE.? FRANK LEANS ACROSS THE TABLE AND PUTS 
HIS HAND ON HERS AND SAYS, 'OH JEAN MY LOVE, YOU KNOW I DO.WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU ASK
ME SUCH A THING, ESPECIALY AFTER WE JUST, YOU KNOW.'
JEAN SAYS, 'I KNOW IT SOUNDS DAFT AND I'M SORRY BUT YOU HEAR STORIES ABOUT RICH MEN.
YOU KNOW HOW THEY LOOK FOR A YOUNGER MODEL.? '
'LISTEN, SAYS FRANK, WHEN I SAID TILL DEATH US DO PART I MEANT IT.AND I LOVE MORE
TODAY THAN I EVER HAVE, SO YOU CAN GET YOUR DAFT THOUGHTS OUT OF THAT PRETTY
LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS.'
JEAN BLUSHES A BIT AND SMILES.SHE PUTS HER HAND ON HIS AND SAYS, 
AND I LOVE YOU FRANK.'

FRANK IS IN B AND Q.HE'S FOUND THE WALL FILLER AND HAS ALSO BOUGHT A TROWEL.
HE GETS TO THE TILL. HE'S ALEADY USED TWO OF THE CARDS, NOW THERE IS THE THIRD.
PROBLEM IS THERE ARE TWO LOTS OF NUMBERS REMAINING.THERES ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
THE GIRL ON THE TILL SAYS...'THATS FITEEN NINETY FIVE LOVE'..
FRANK TAKES THE CARD AND INSERTS IT. HES WRITTEN THE TWO NUMBERS ON THE INSIDE OF EACH WRIST.
IT ASKS FOR PIN. HE TYPES..9433.THE MACHINE SAYS ..DECLINED..
THE CASHERE SAYS..'WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY AGAIN..?'
FRANK REMOVES THE CARD THEN PUTS IT BACK IN. HE THEN TAPS 8563. ITS ACCEPTED.
BINGO. HE GRABS HIS BAG AND SETS OFF FOR HOME. HE'S THINKING, THAT'S THREE CARDS WORKING.
THEN HE'S THINKING ABOUT WHAT JEAN HAD SAID ABOUT STILL FINDING HER ATTARCTIVE.
I KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS HE THINKS, A ROMANTIC HOLIDAY. PARIS PERHAPS.JUST A WEEKEND BREAK.


AT HOME JEAN HAS BEEN BUSY CLEANING.
ON HIS WAY HOME FRANK HAS STOPPED AT THE LOCAL TRAVEL AGENTS AND PICKED UP SEVERAL BROCHURES
OF WEEKEND BREAKS. HE SNEEKS THEM FROM HIS BAG AND PLACES THEM QUIETLY ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
FRANK SITS DOWN AND TURNS ON THE TV. JEAN HAS MADE TEA AND SITS NEXT TO FRANK.
'OOOH..SHE SAYS, 'WHAT'S THIS FRANK.? 'OH HE SAYS, JUST AN IDEA.' HE GRINS.
JEAN PICKS UP THE FIRST BROCHUR. PARIS.THE RHINE. OSLO, ..SO MANY LOVELY LOCATIONS SHE SAYS.
YES SAYS FRANK. YOU MY LOVE DESERVE A TREAT. A LONG WEEKEND AWAY. I'LL LET YOU CHOOSE.'
'OH FRANK, YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF GOING TO PARIS. I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN.
I NEVER DARED TO WISH IT COULD HAPPEN.'
'WELL YOU CAN NOW MY LOVE, YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN. JUST CHOOSE ONE OF THOSE THERE BREAKS
AND I'LL GET IT BOOKED. TOMORROW. AND DON'T CHOOSE THE CHEAPEST. DON'T FORGET, THANKS
TO KENETH, ITS NO EXPENSE SPARED.'
JEAN CAN HARDLY CONTAIN HER EXCITEMENT. SHE GIVES FRANK A HUGE HUG AND A KISS.
'I LOVE YOU FRANK HARGREAVES.' 

FRANK LEAVES JEAN LOOKING THROUGH THE BROCHURES AND IN THE KITCHEN
HE MIXES THE WALL FILLER IN AN OLD PYREX DISH.
JEAN COMES IN AND SAYS..'OH FRANK, NOOO, NOT THAT DISH. THAT WAS MY MOTHERS. SHE'D BE TURNING
IN HER GRAVE IF SHE COULD SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING.'
FRANK SAYS 'DON'T WORRY LOVE, IT WILL ALL CLEAN OUT. ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR 
SAYING THAT, YOUR MOTHERS NOT DEAD.'
'SHE IS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERENED ' SAYS JEAN. 'I'M SORRY BUT I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HER
FOR WHAT SHE DID. I COULD'T. '
FRANK SAYS, NOW DON'T GO UPSETTING YOURSELF WITH ALL THAT. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT 
ALL THAT AND SO DO I.' 'NOW, PLEASE, LETS GET BACK TO NORMAL.'
JEAN GOES BACK TO THE BROCHURES.

FRANK GETS UNDER THE SINK WITH THE TROWEL AND SETS TO WORK FILLING THE HOLE.
HE'S QUICKLY FINISHED. 
HE GOES INTO THE LOUNGE. HE SITS DOWN NEXT TO JEAN..'FOUND ANYTHING YOU LIKE LOVE.? HE ASKS.
'OOH FRANK, SOME OF THESE ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I MEAN LOOK AT THIS ONE.HOTEL FOUR STAR,
FULL BOARD, ALL FLIGHTS AND TRANSFERES, THREE NIGHTS, £800 EACH..I MEAN MY GOD,WE COULD
BUY A NEW CAR WITH THAT.'
'I KNOW SAYS FRANK BUT JUST REMEMBER, FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES, MONEY IS NO OBJECT.
WE CAN HAVE THE VERY BEST OF EVERYTHING.'
JEAN SAYS, YOU DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT THIS PLAN OF YOURS..?

FRANK SAYS..'AH YES..' 'THE PLAN'..THEN HE CHUCKLES.
'WHY ARE YOU LAUGHINGS ' ASKS JEAN. 'WELL,HE SAYS, THINK OF THIS. I, OR WE, GET ON A 
PLANE AND FLY TO SOMEWHERE, I DONT KNOW..PARIS SAY. I HAVE A PREPARED A LETTER. ITS 
FROM KENETH TO BRANDSTON. IT TELLS BRANDSTON NOT TO WORRY AND GIVES HIM CERTAIN ORDERS
ABOUT THINGS, GAS BILL, PHONE, SO ON..AND HE TELLS HIM NOT TO WORRY AND HE WILL 
BE IN TOUCH VERY SOON.I POST IT FROM PARIS. SO BRANDSTON ASSUMES KENETH IS IN PARIS.'
'CLEVER SAYS JEAN, BUT HOW DO WE MAKE THIS LETTER CONVINCING. YOU'LL NEED TO FORGE
HIS SIGNATURE FOR STARTERS.'
FRANK SAYS..'REMEMBER THE COLUMBO EPISODE WHERE THE BLACKMAILER NEEDS TO COPY 
THE SIGNATURE. REMEMBER HOW HE DOES IT.?'
'OH YES, SAYS JEAN, HE WETS THE ORIGIAL THEN HE IRONS IT ONTO A NEW SHEET OF PAPER.'
'EXACTLY, SAYS FRANK. ALL WE NEED NOW IS KENETHS SIGNATURE. NOW I KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU MUST BE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS LITTLE HOLIDAY,AND SO AM I, BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
LET'S NOT ALLOW EVENTS TO OVERTAKE US.'
THE FIRST PART OF THIS PLAN IS TO GO BACK TO THE OLD PRIORY..SEE BRANDSTON.
GET INTO KENS PLACE AGAIN AND FIND A DOCUMENT,ANY DOCUMENT THAT HOLDS HIS SIGNATURE.'
'YOUR RIGHT SAYS JEAN, I AGREE. LETS GET BACK THERE ..TOMORROW.

NEXT MORNING, ITS AN EARLY START. JEAN IS IN THE KITCHEN MAKING SANDWICHES.
FRANK SAYS..'WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOVE, MAKING SANDWICHES..? WE CAN EAT WHERE WE LIKE'.
'I'M NOT PAYING THIER PRICES FRANK SHE SAYS. BASTARDOS ON THE MOTORWAY SERVICES.
I MEAN, WHO CAN HONESTLY AFFORD TO PAY THREE POUNDS FOR A COFFEE. I DONT CARE
HOW costa IT IS..IT COSTA BLOODY ARM AND LEG..DAYLIGHT ROBBERY. NO,I'M MAKING SANDWHICHES 
AND A FLASK OF COFFEE.'
JEAN IS GROUNDING IF NOTHING ELSE, AND SHE REMINDS ME, SUBTILY THAT JUST BECAUSE
WE CAN AFFORD THINGS, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE SHOULD.'

IT TAKES A GOOD FEW HOURS TO GET NEAR TO BRANDSTONS. ITS GOING DARK. 
WE DRIVE SLOWLY ALONG THE WINDING LANE, WE STOP AT KENETHS PLACE. JUST AT THE ENTRANCE.
A BARN OWL SWOOPS LOW ACROSS THE ROAD IN FRONT OF US. ITS A BIT SPOOKY.
FRANK TURNS THE ENGINE OFF. WE GAZE UP THE PATH LEADING TO KENS PLACE. 
THEN, THE HEADLIGHTS OF A CAR.. ITS A LANDROVER. ITS BRANDSTON.
HE GETS OUT AND COMES OVER TO US. 
'OH THANK THE LORD HE SHOUTS. IT'S HOWLER..HE'S CLEARED OFF. I'M SO WORRIED. HE'S NEVER 
DONE THIS BEFORE... I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER HERE BUT NO SIGN. FOLLOW ME BACK TO THE HOUSE.'
BRANDSTON LEADS THE WAY. WE FOLLOW HIS LANDROVER TO THE PRIORY.
WE PULL UP BEHIND HIM AND GET OUT. HE'S CLEARLY WORRIED. 
'WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO FRANK HE YELLS..?
JEAN SAYS.. 'I KNOW ITS A BIG WORRY BRANDSTON BUT I HAVE AN IDEA.'
PLEASE SAYS BRANDSTON, COME INSIDE.. LETS HAVE SOMETHING TO DRINK..I NEED ONE.'
WE FOLLOW BRANDSTON INTO THE HOUSE. HE'S STILL SHOUTING..'HOWLER..HOWLER..
HE SHOUTS UP THE STAIRS..'HOWLER..HOWLER..THEN, AS CASUAL AS YOU LIKE, HOWLER 
COMES DOWN THE STAIRS. ..'OH HOWLER..HOWLER..WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN.?'
HOWLER SITS AND PUTS UP A PAW..
JEAN SAYS, I THINK HE NEEDS A TREAT. 
YES SAYS BRANDSTON. AND I NEED A DRINK. WHAT A RELIEF. FOR A MOMENT THERE I THOUGHT
I'D LOST HIM. I COULDN'T STAND THAT. HE HUGS HOWLER..'YOU BIG SILLY BILLY' HE SAYS.
HOWLER SIMPLY LOOKS AT HIM THEN GOES TO HIS BOWL FOR FOOD. TYPICAL LABRADOR THINKS JEAN.

BRANDSTON GOES TO THE DRINKS CABINET. NOW HE SAYS, I'M HAVING A BLOODY BIG BRANDY,
AND I KNOW FOR YOU JEAN, ITS A GIN, LEMON BUT NO ICE, AND FRANK..? A WISKEY..?'
WE CAN HEAR BRANDSTON POURING THE DRINKS..
'OH GOD HE SHOUTS..BUT THANK THE LORDS TROUSERS, HE'S SAFE AND WHAT A WONDERFUL SUPRISE
YOUR BOTH BACK HERE. I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU FRANK, I FEEL SO MUCH SAFER NOW GOING UP 
THE STAIRS NOW THE HANDRAIL IS SECURE. AND THE BALLROOM IS COMPLETELY DRY. MARGO WOULD
BE SO HAPPY.. I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FRANK.'
HE PASSES THE DRINKS..HE FLOPS DOWN INTO HIS BIG CHAIR. TAKES A HUGE GULP. 
'OH MY GOD..I KNOW, AND I DON'T WISH TO BE A BORE BUT, I COULDNT BARE LOSING HOWLER.'
JEAN SAYS..I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL BRANDSTON. HE'S LIKE A SON TO YOU. HE'S YOUR FAMILY.'
BRANDSTON IS CLEARLY UPSET. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 
BRANDSTON IS STARING INTO HIS BALLOON GLASS OF BRANDY.
HE PAUSES..THEN HE SAYS..'I KNOW WE HAVN'T EATEN YET BUT I MUST ASK,
DID YOU GIVE ANY THOUGHT TO MY IDEA, I MEAN OF YOU BOTH MOVING HERE WITH ME,,?'

FRANK SAYS..'YES BRANDSTON, AND WERE VERY PLEASED. BUT WE WONDERED,WELL, YOU HAVE A LOT
OF LAND OUT THERE, AND ALTHOUGH IT WOULD BE LOVELY TO LIVE IN THIS GREAT HOUSE,
WELL, WE JUST FEEL LIKE WE WOULD BE INTRUDING A BIT.'
'OH GOODNESS ME AND SPARE THE LORD SAYS BRANDSTON..NO NO NO..'
'WAIT SAYS FRANK, WHAT I MEAN IS..COULD WE LIVE HERE BUT OUT THERE..ON THE FIELD, IN A CARAVAN.'?
BRANDSTON STARTS LAUGHING...OH MY GOD..I SEE.. YOU NEED YOUR OWN SPACE.. I UNDERSTAND TOTALY.
YOU YOUNG ONES NEED TO BE ALONE AND FREE TO BE PRIVATE .I UNDERSTAND..
YES YES YES HE SAYS.. AND HE'S LAUGHING.. WHAT A GREAT IDEA..'
THERE ARE A FEW PLACES OUT THERE IN THE FIELDS WHERE THERES A WATER STAND PIPE.
IT WOULD BE EASY FOR A MAN OF YOUR SKILLS TO PLUMB ONE IN I'M SURE.
A MARVELOUS IDEA FRANK AND I FOR ONE WILL CERTAINLY DRINK TO THAT.'
'AND DO YOU KNOW, HE SAYS, NOT FAR FROM HERE, IN FACT IN THE NEXT VILLAGE THERE IS 
A PLACE THAT SPECIALISES IN STATIC CARAVANS.AND TOMORROW, WE'LL GET THE OLD GIRL
OUT AND HAVE A RIDE OVER THERE.OH, AND TO CELEBRATE, TONIGHT I WON'T BE COOKING.
NO, ITS MY TREAT. WE'RE GOING TO ONE OF THE BEST ITALIAN RESTRAUNTS IN THE AREA.
THAT IS OF COURSE IF YOU LIKE ITALIAN.?'
'I LOVE ITALIAN FOOD SAYS JEAN.'BRANDSTON LOOKS AT ME.'ALRIGHT WITH YOU FRANK' HE ASKS.
'LOVELY IDEA', SAYS FRANK.'THING IS BERTRAND SAYS FRANK, I'M AFRAID WE'VE ONLY GOT
THE CLOTHES WE'RE WEARING. WE HADN'T EXPECTED..YOU KNOW.'
'OH DON'T YOU WORRY OLD MAN', SAYS BRANDSTON. ITS VERY RELAXED AT GINOS.
HE WON'T MIND AT ALL.'

LATER THAT EVENING FRANK GETS 'THE OLD GIRL' OUT OF THE GARAGE AND THEY DRIVE 
TO THE VILLAGE. HE PARKS UP OUTSIDE 'LA RISTORANTE' .IT LOOKS VERY CHIC.
ITS QUIET INSIDE. GINO GREETS US. HE SHOUTS LIKE MOST ITALIANS.
'BRANDSTONS, BRANDSTONS, WHERE BLOODY HELL YOU BEEN.? NOT SEEN YOU FOR LONG TIMES.
WHERE BLOODY HELL YOU BEEN HIDING. AND ALSO, NOT SEEN KENNY FOR AGES TOO. BET THEY 
ON BLOODY HOLIDAYS AGAIN. BLOODY GOOD FOR THEM.BETTER TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SHITTY
BRITISH WEATHER. IS BLOODY HORIDS ISNT IT. NOW, THIS TABLE OK FOR YOU GUYS.?
NOW YOU MAKE YOURSELVES ALL COMFORTABLE AND I'LL GO FETCH YOU SOME MENUS.'
FRANK SAYS, 'HE'S QUITE A CHARACHTER'. 'OH YES SAYS BRANDSTON. LOVELY FELLA OUR GINO.'

GINO COMES BACK WITH THE MENUS. 'THERE WE ARE HE SAYS.HE PASSES US ALL A MENU.
NOW, HE SAYS, WHAT ABOUT DRINKINGS..? WHAT YOU LIKE. BRANDSTON SAYS, WE'LL HAVE THE 
HOUSE RED PLEASE AND FRANKS DRIVING SO I'M GUESSING..HE PAUSES.
'OH SAYS FRANK, COULD I HAVE A SHANDY PLEASE.?'
GINO SAYS, NON PROBLEMO, THEN HE TURNS TO JEAN AND BOWS. AND FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL
LADY,..?' 'ILL HAVE THE HOUSE RED TOO PLEASE.''
OKAYS DOKAYS SAYS GINO. AND OFF HE GOES TO GET THE WINE.
JEAN SAYS, 'WHAT A LOVELY MAN'.
'AND I'M SURE YOU WILL ENJOY HIS COOKING JEAN' SAYS BRANDSTON.

THEY ENJOY A WONDERFUL MEAL AND FRANK IS LOOKING FORWARD TO DRIVING 'THE OLD GIRL'
BACK TO THE HOUSE. AS THEY GET INTO THE CAR BRANDSTON SAYS, 'AND WHEN WE GET HOME 
I'VE GOT ANOTHER SURPRISE FOR YOU BOTH.'

FRANK LOCKS THE 'OLD GIRL'AWAY IN THE GARAGE AND FOLLOWS JEAN AND BRANDSTON
INTO THE HOUSE. HOWLER IS GREETING US WITH A LOT OF TAIL WAGGING.
BRANDSTON CLIPS HIS LEAD ON AND SAYS, 'I'LL JUST TAKE HIM FOR A QUICK ONE.'
ITS NOT LONG TILL HE'S BACK.FRANK HAS LIT THE FIRE AND THEY SIT AT THE COFFE TABLE.
BRANDSTON SAYS, 'WON'T BE A TICK, JUST GETTING SOMETHING.'
JEAN LOOKS AT FRANK. SHE'S EXCITED. WHAT OTHER SURPRISES ARE COMING.?
BRANDSTON RETURNS AND SPREADS AN ORDANANCE SURVEY MAP ON THE TABLE.
'THIS IS A MAP OF ALL MY LAND HERE FRANK. AS YOU CAN SEE, THE WATER STAND PIPES 
ARE SITUATED HERE, HERE, AND HERE. BUT AS YOU SEE, THIS ONE HERE IS THE 
NEAREST TO THE HOUSE. ALSO, ITS A NICE SPOT ON THE EDGE OF THE WOODS AND,
ITS NEAR ENOUGH TO THE HOUSE TO RUN A CABLE FOR ELECTRICITY.'
JEAN SAYS, 'IT LOOKS PERFECT FRANK'.SHE SQUEEZES HIS ARM WITH EXCITEMENT.
'IT LOOKS A PERFECT POSITION BRANDSTON.'WELL IN THE MORNING WE'LL GET THE WELLIES
ON AND HAVE A MOOCH OVER THERE.'
'WONDERFUL SAYS JEAN. NOW SAYS BRANDSTON,THE NEXT SURPRISE. 
'I'VE HAD A GREAT IDEA AND I'M HOPING YOU WILL BOTH LIKE IT. 
I'VE DECIDED, ONCE WE GET YOU MOVED 
IN AND ORGANISED, I WILL START PAYING YOU BOTH A WEEKLY WAGE.'
OOOH BRANDSTON, SAYS FRANK, THAT WON'T BE NESACERY.YOU'VE ALREADY DONE 
SO MUCH FOR US. 'NOW HANG ON SAYS BRANDSTON, YOU SEE I THINK A SMALL WAGE 
EACH WOULD HELP YOU COPE FINANCIALY. I WILL EMPLOY YOU FRANK AS MY HANDY MAN
AND CHAUFER.AND JEAN, I'M SURE THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF CHORES HERE IN THE 
HOUSE.I WON'T BE A TERRIBLE TASK-MASTER, I ASURE YOU AND WE CAN DISCUSS TOGETHER
WHAT JOBS NEED TO BE DONE AND PLAN WHEN TO DO THEM TOGETHER.
SO, HOW DOES TWO HUNDRED POUNDS EACH A WEEK SOUND. ?'
JEANS MOUTH IS WIDE OPEN IN AWE. FRANK SAYS, 'I CAN SEE YOUR LOGIC BRANDSTON, 
IT MAKES GOOD SENSE AND I'M SURE THE WAGES WILL COME IN VERY HANDY.'
'THATS GOOD THEN SAYS, BRANDSTON. HE HOLD HIS HAND OUT TO FRANK.'WE HAVE AN 
AGREEMENT THEN'.FRANK SHAKES HIS HAND AND SAYS , WE CERTAINLY DO AND THANK 
YOU BRANDSTON. I'M IN SHOCK'.
'I CAN SENSE THAT FRANK BUT I'M SURE I CAN PUT MY FULL TRUST IN YOU BOTH. I CAN'T TELL
YOU HOW HAPPY THIS ARANGEMENT MAKES ME.'

'NOW SAYS BERTRAND, WHAT ABOUT A GLASS OF THIS TO CELEBRATE.' ITS A BOTTLE OF WHAT LOOKS 
LIKE VERY EXPENSIVE CHAMPAIGNE. 'I'VE BEEN SAVING THIS FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION' HE SAYS.
HE GETS FOUR CHAMPAIGNE GLASSES AND PASSES THE BOTTLE TO FRANK.
'STEADY AS SHE GOES FRANK' HE SAYS. 'I KNOW SHE ISN'T HERE BUT THAT FOURTH GLASS
IS FOR MARGO. SHE LIVED A GLASS OF BUBLY AND I WAS EXPECTING TO ENJOY IT WITH HER.
SO THIS WILL HAVE TO DO'.
    FRANK REMOVES THE FOIL AND WIRE CAGE FROM THE CORK. THEN WITH A COUPLE OF TWISTS..POP...!!!

 THE CORK COMES FLYING OUT AND HITS THE CEILING. IT LEAVES A DINT. 'A REPAIR JOB 
    FOR MY HANDYMAN SAYS BRANDSTON. THEN FRANK CAREFULLY FILLS THE GLASSES. BRANDSTON 
    PASSES THEM TO US AND HOLD HIS ALOFT. 'TO A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE' HE SAYS. 
    'YOUR VERY GOOD HEALTH' SAYS JEAN AND FRANK SAYS, 'MAY THE CROWS NEVER PICK 
    YOUR STACK'. BRANDSTON ALMOSTS CHOKES WITH FITS OF LAUGHTER. BRANDSTON REFILLS 
    THE GLASSES AND SAYS, 'TO MY BEAUTIFUL MARGO, HERE IN SPIRIT'.. WE BOTH SAY 
    CHEERS MARGO..THEN DOWN THE CHAMPAIGNE.
BRANDSTON GOES OVER TO A CORNER OF THE ROOM WHERE AN OLD WIND-UP GRAMAPHONE PERCHES
ON A MAHOGANY TABLE. 'LETS HAVE SOME MUSIC HE SAYS. AND THEN, A NIGHTCAP.'
I'LL PUT ON ONE OF THE OLD POPPADOMS I BROUGHT BACK FROM INDIA. HE WINDS UP THE GRAMAPHONE
THEN DROPS THE ARM ONTO THE SEVENTY-EIGHT.THERES THE USUAL SCRATCHING SOUND THEN 
HIS MASTERS VOICE BOOMS WITH CARMAN MIRANDA.IT'S A SONG CALLED 'THE LADY IN THE TUTI-FRUITY-HAT.
BRANDSTON STARTS SINGING ALONG AND DANCES SHAKING HIS HIPS.
HE SHOUTS ABOVE THE MUSIC..'OHH MARGO LOVED TO DANCE TO THIS. HE HOLDS HIS HAND OUT
TO JEAN, 'COME JEAN, DANCE WITH ME.'
'SHE STANDS UP AND TAKES BRANDSTONS HAND. SHE DANCES LIKE A DUCK WITH LEAD FEET.
HOWLER IS BARKING AND LEAPING AROUND TOO.
BUT BRANDSTON DOESN'T CARE. HE'S LOST IN THE MOMENT.
FRANK IS IN HYSTERICS.
AS THE TUNE ENDS, BRANDSTON COLLAPSES INTO HIS ARMCHAIR.
'OH THE GOOD OLD DAYS, BUT I'M NOT AS NIBLE NOW HE SAYS.
 AND JUST AS BRANDSTON SAID THEY HAVE A NIGHT-CAP THEN 
THEY GO OFF TO BED.
JEAN SAYS TO BRANDSTON, THANKS YOU FOR A LOVELY DAY BRANDSTON.
YES SAYS FRANK, THANK YOU. 
'GOODNIGHT MY DEARS HE SAYS, AND YOU ARE BOTH MOST WELCOME.'

JEAN SAYS TO FRANK ONCE THIER UNDER THE COVERS. 'WHAT A LOVELY EVENING FRANK.
AND BRANDSTON IS SO KIND'. 'YES SAYS FRANK AND TOMORROW WE MUST FIND A WAY TO
GET THAT SIGNATURE OF KENETHS.'
HE KISSES JEAN SAYING 'GOODNIGHT LOVE. SLEEP WELL.'
THEN HE PULLS ON THE LIGHT CORD AND ONCE AGAIN,A SHOWER OF PLASTER FALLS FROM THE CEILING.
I'LL GET THAT SORTED SAYS FRANK.

THEY ARE BOTH SOON FAST ASLEEP.

AT SOME POINT DURING THE NIGHT, JEAN IS WISPERING INTO FRANKS EAR.
'FRANK, FRANK, WAKE UP..'
FRANK GRUNTS AND WIPES HIS EYES, 'WHATS THE MATTER LOVE.? HE ASKS HER.
'LISTEN SHE SAYS, YOU HEAR THAT.?
'HEAR WHAT ASKS FRANK. 'THERE SHE SAYS, THAT, THAT SCRATCHING NOISE.'?
FRANK SITS UP AND LISTENS. THE SCRATCHING IS ABOVE THE BED.
'THERE, SAYS JEAN,YOU HEAR IT.'
'I HEAR IT DEAR. BUT NOTHING TOO SERIOUS. ITS A RAT.'
'OH MY GOD, SAYS JEAN, NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP'.
FRANK GIVES HER A HUG AND SAYS, DON'T WORRY LOVE. ITS NOT GOING TO COME NEAR US AND
TOMORROW I'LL LET BRANDSTON KNOW OF THE PROBLEM. NOW, GOODNIGHT LOVE'

THEY WAKE NEXT MORNING TO THE SOUND OF BRANDSTON SINGING ALONG TO HIS GRAMOPHONE.
IT'S OPERA OF SOMEKIND. THEY GET UP AND MAKE THIER WAY DOWNSTAIRS.
'OH GOOD MORNING MY DEARS. AND WHAT A LOVELY SUNNY DAY IT IS TOO.
NOW I'VE GOT THE BACON ON AND THERE'S HOT COFFEE ON THE AGA, HELP YOURSELVES.
I'LL JUST TAKE HOWLER TO THE GARDEN.'
FRANK AND JEAN ARE SAT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. JEAN SAYS, ARE YOU GOING TO TELL BRANDSTON
YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE RAT,,?'
YES SAYS FRANK, I'LL TELL HIM AFTER BREAKFAST. 
BRANDSTON JOINS THEM IN THE KITCHEN. 
'SLEEP WELL..? I HOPE DID YOU.?'
JEAN SAYS, WELL NOT REALLY BRANDSTON. 'OHH..? HE SAYS.
'NO SAYS JEAN, DO YOU WANT TO TELL HIM FRANK..?
FRANK SAYS WELL WE WERE DISTURBED DURING THE NIGHT'.
'OH MY GOD SAYS BRANDSTON..NOT THE OLD LADY'?
'THE OLD LADY ASKS JEAN SOMEWHAT PERTURBED..?
'OH NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT I CAN ASSURE YOU. IT'S A FUNNY THING REALLY.
YOU SEE WHEN MARGO AND I BOUGHT THIS PLACE, THE PREVIOUS OWNERS TOLD US TO WATCH OUT FOR
'THE OLD LADY'. I ASKED THEM WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND THEY SAID THAT THERE WAS AN OLD LADY
WHO WOULD APPEAR EVERY SO OFTEN. NOW HERE'S THE STRANGE THING.I MEAN I THOUGHT THEY
WERE JUST HAVING A BIT OF FUN. UNTILL....
JEAN SAID..UNTILL..?
'WELL I WAS IN THE GARAGE YOU SEE, FIDLING WITH THE LAWN MOWER.NEXT THING I HEAR MARGO
SHOUTING ME..I DASH INSIDE AND SHE'S QUITE UPSET. 'WHAT ON EARTHS THE MATTER DEAREST
I SAID...SHE POINTED TO THE WOODEN CHAIR IN THE GARDEN. 'OUT THERE SHE SAID, ON THAT CHAIR.
I SAW HER. THE OLD LADY.' I LOOKED OUT OF THE WINDOW TOWARD THE CHAIR AND SAW NOTHING.'
FRANK SAID WELL THIS WASN'T AN OLD LADY. IT WAS A RAT.OBVIOUSLY FOUND ITS WAY TO THE ATTIC.'
'OH GOOD GOD SAID BRANDSTON. WHAT DO WE DO.? PHONE THE RAT MAN.?'
'DONT WORRY SAID FRANK, I'VE DEALT WITH THIS SITUATION BEFORE.I'LL GO INTO TOWN AND GET 
TRAPS AND RAT POISON. I'LL GET RID OF THE BUGGERS HAVE NO FEAR.'
'GOOD MAN SAID BRANDSTON, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WE'LL CALL AT THE HARDWEAR SHOP 
ON THE WAY TO THE CARAVAN SALES PLACE.'
JEAN SAYS, 'DID THE OLD LADY APPEAR AGAIN.? YOU SEE I'M QUITE SPIRITUAL AND MY MOTHER
SAID I WAS LIKE HER, PSYCHIC. I HAVE SEEN THINGS IN MY TIME'.
FRANK SNAPS AT JEAN, 'THATS ENOUGH DEAR, I DON'T THINK BRANDSTON WANTS TO HEAR ALL THIS.'
'ON THE CONRARY FRANK, SAYS BRANDSTON. I FIND IT ALL VERY INTERESTING. 
NOW, LETS SET OFF FOR THE CARAVAN PLACE. WE CAN STOP AT A PLACE I KNOW NEARBY FOR LUNCH,
AND I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING ALL ABOUT IT THIS EVENING JEAN.'

FRANK GETS THE 'OLD GIRL' OUT. 
THEY SET OFF FOR THE CARAVAN PLACE. BRANDSTON GIVES DIRECTIONS AS THEY WIND THIER WAY
DOWN THE COUNTRY LANES. THEY PASS A CASTLE. 
BRANDSTON SAYS, 'PULL UP HERE FRANK, AT THE GATES.'
FRANKS PULLS UP AT THE GATES OF THE CASTLE AS INSTRUCTED.
BRANDSTON SAYS, 'THIS IS THE CASTLE FRAMPTON. IT WAS STARTED BY THE ANGLO SAXONS ON THE 
SITE OF A MONASTRY.THE ORIGIAL MONASTRY WAS CALLED ST.CUTHBERTS.IT CHANGED HANDS
MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS. ITS NOW THE PRIVATE HOME OF A ROCK STAR. I KNOW 
HIM, HE PUTS CONCERTS ON DURING THE SUMMER.'

JEAN SAYS,SO MUCH HISTORY. 'YES SAYS BRANDSTON, AND I DO LIKE HISTORY.'

A FEW MORE MILES AND THEY ARIVE AT 'PEMBERTONS CARAVANS'..ITS A VAST PLACE WITH BOTH NEW 
AND USED CARAVANS AND MOBILE HOMES. 
FRANK PARKS UP THE CAR AND IN MOMENTS A SALESMAN IS THERE TO GREET US.
HE'S VERY SMARTLY DRESSED AND HE HAS A FEMALE ASSISTANT WITH HIM.
SHE IS WHAT THEY CALL 'POWER DRESSED'.BLACK JACKET, WHITE BLOUSE, BLACK MIMI SKIRT,
STOCKINGS AND HIGH HEELS. SHE HAS A LOVELY CLEAVAGE AND FRANK FINDS IT HARD
NOT TO STARE. 
THE SALESMAN HOLDS OUT HIS HAND TO BRANDSTON AND DISPLAYS HIS TABARD.IT SAYS
TOBY MATHEWS. 
'WELCOME TO PEMBERTONS HE SAYS. ARE WE LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR.?
THIS IS MANDY MY ASSISTANT. PLEASE TAKE A GOOD LOOK ROUND. IF YOU NEED ANY HELP
OR ADVICE WE WILL BE JUST OVER THERE IN THE OFFICE.'
BRANDSTON SHAKES HIS HAND. 'THANK YOU YOUNG MAN, WE CERTAINLY WILL'.
'LETS START AT THIS END AND WORK OUR WAY ALONG SAYS BRANDSTON.
JEAN SAYS , THE SECOND HAND ONES ARE OVER ON THAT SIDE.'
'GOOD GOD SAYS BRANDSTON, WE CERTAINLY WON'T BE BUYING A CAST-ME-DOWN.
NO NO, WE WANT SOMETHING THAT HASN'T BEEN LIVED IN.SECOND HAND MAY 
BE CHEAPER BUT A NEW ONE IS MUCH MORE EXCITING.'
'LOOK AT THIS..SAYS BRANDSTON.'LETS GO INSIDE'.
IT'S ABSOLUTE LUXERY. LARGE LOUNGE WITH SEATING AREA THAT CAN TURN INTO BEDS.
LARGE DOUBLE BEDROOM WITH SMALL EN-SUIT, KITCHEN DINING AREA, LARGER BATHROOM WITH 
SHOWER. SECOND BEDROOM WITH TWIN SINGLE BEDS. LOADS OF WARDROBES AND STORAGE.
CENTRAL HEATING. POSH KITCHEN WITH MICROWAVE.
BASICALLY TOP OF THE RANGE.. PRICE..87 THOUSAND POUNDS.
ITS CALLED THE 'ESQUIRE'. 
BRANDSTON SAYS..MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.AND IT COMES ALL KITTED OUT WITH 
FURNITURE, FIXTURES AND FITTINGS.

 

ITS INCREDIBLE. THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH IT.
'IT'S BEAUTIFUL' SAYS JEAN. 'BUT WELL BEYOND OUR PRICE RANGE.'
'NOW STEADY ON' SAYS FRANK, 'WE'D NEED TO DO A FEW CALCULATIONS BUT ITS NOT IMPOSSIBLE 
TO MY RECKONING.'
'THATS THE SPIRIT' SAYS BRANDSTON.